Rachel: Hi! Hi, Ben! Hi!
嗨！嗨，本。嗨！
Ross: We have a little bathroom emergency.
内急，借厕所一用。
Rachel: Oh, yeah go ahead.
快去吧。
Ross: Before we do, are any of Joey's special romance magazines in there?
去之前问一句，那儿有乔伊专用的浪漫杂志吗？
Rachel: No. No.
没有。
Ross: Okay! All clear!
好！可以去了！
Ben: Thanks Phoebe!
谢谢，菲比！
Rachel: Ben, it's Rachel! But whatever.
本。我是瑞秋。不过随便啦。
Ross: Hey listen can you do me a big favor? The dean's office just called and said there was an urgent meeting. Can you watch Ben for like an hour?
能帮我个忙吗？院长办公室刚来电话说要开个紧急会议。能帮我带一下本吗？就一小时。
Rachel: What about Monica?
怎么不找莫妮卡？
Ross: Oh, she isn't home.
噢，她不在家。
Rachel: So it would just be, me alone?
那就只有我一个人吗？
Ross: Well, Ben would be there.
还有本。
Ross: What's the matter?
怎么了？
Rachel: Well that you know it's just…I've never done that before. Me and him alone.
只是...我以前从来没跟他单独待过。
Ross: Rach, he's not an ex-con.
瑞秋，他又不是从监狱里放出来的。
Rachel: Okay. Okay. Okay. Uh, what do I, what do I do with him?
好吧。我该和他干什么呢？
Ross: I don't know! Just talk to him, entertain him and keep him alive.
不知道！就跟他讲话，让他高兴，保他不死就行。
Rachel: Okay.
好的。
Ross: Okay. Ben? Come here. All right, I'm gonna leave you here with Aunt Rachel for about an hour. Okay? Are you gonna be okay?
本？过来。是这样，我把你留在这儿，和瑞秋阿姨一起呆一个小时。可以吗？你会乖吗？
Rachel: Yeah I think so.
我想可以吧。
Ross: I wasn't talking to you.
我又不是问你。
Monica: What about the second minister we meet with? I kinda liked him.
我们见的第二个牧师怎么样？我还蛮喜欢他的。
Chandler: You mean the spitter?
你是指口沫横飞那位？
Monica: Come on! It wasn't that bad!
别这样！他喷得也没那么厉害。
Chandler: Easy for you to say; you'll be wearing a veil.
你说起来容易，你到时候有面纱遮脸。
Monica: What about the third guy?
那第三位呢？
Chandler: You mean the guy who kept staring at your chest?
你是说盯着你胸看的那个？
Monica: Can you blame him?
那你能怪他吗？
Chandler: Sorry, I just don't like the idea of when I say, "I do," he's thinking, "Yeah, I'd do her too!"
对不起，我不想我说"我愿意"的时候，他想着，"我也愿意。
Monica: Well then we still have a problem.
这个问题还是有待解决。
Phoebe: With what?
什么问题？
Monica: Well, we're trying to find someone to perform our wedding and they're all either boring or annoying or you know, can't stop staring at the ladies.
哦，我们想找人主持我们的婚礼，可他们不是闷蛋就是讨厌鬼，要么就老爱盯着女生这里看。
Phoebe: Oh! You should have one of us do it!
噢！应该找我们其中一人来主婚。
Monica: Phoebe, we're getting married, married, not sixth grade married.
菲比，我们要真的结婚，不是过家家。
Phoebe: No! No! It's a real thing! Anyone can get ordained on the Internet and perform like weddings and stuff!
不！不！真的可以呢！任何人都可在网上申请成为牧师，之后可以主持婚礼之类的仪式。
Joey: I call it! !
我报名！
Phoebe: What? ! No! It was my idea!
什么？！不行！这是我的主意！
Chandler: Guys thank you very much but neither of you is marrying us.
真心谢谢你们，但你们谁也不能替我们主婚。
Joey: Does calling it not mean anything anymore? !
怎么报名不算数了吗？！
Chandler: We are going to have a legitimate member of the clergy! And when I say legitimate I mean, gay and in control of his saliva!
我们还是要找个正式的牧师！正式的意思是，他得是同性恋、还要能控制自己的口水！
Rachel: Ben you know when you were a baby, you and I used to hang out all the time. Cause I was your daddy's girlfriend.
本，你知道吗，当你还是个婴儿的时候，我们常在一起呢。因为我，我曾是你爸爸的女友。
Ben: But you're not anymore!
但你已经不是了！
Rachel: No, I'm not.
对，不是了。
Ben: Because you guys were on a break.
因为你们当时就已经分手了。
Rachel: Hey! We were not on a break.
嘿！我们当时没有分手。
Ben: When's my daddy coming back?
我爸爸什么时候回来？
Rachel: Fifty-two minutes. So no brothers and sisters? But you know what? I have two sisters of my own and we just tortured each other.
52分钟后。你没有兄弟姐妹是吧？！我有两个姐妹，我们会互相捉弄。
Ben: Really? Like how?
真的？怎样捉弄？
Rachel: Well you know, we would repeat everything the other said, or we'd jump out of closets to scare each other, or switch the sugar for the salt so they'd put salt on their cereal.
我们互相学舌，或是从衣柜里跳出来吓唬对方，或者把糖和盐互换，让她们在燕麦片上洒盐。
Ben: That's a good one.
这个好玩。
Rachel: Yeah? You like that one?
是吗？你喜欢这个？
Ben: Yeah, you're funny.
喜欢，你很有趣。
Rachel: I'm funny? Oh thank God! Well hey, I've got a ton of these! You take a quarter, take a quarter and, and you blacken the edge. Right? And then you say to person, I bet you can't roll this quarter from your forehead to your chin without it leaving your face. And then when they do it, they're left with a big black pencil line right down the center of their face.
我还有好多这些把戏呢！想听个更有趣的吗？还有一个。你拿个硬币，然后把边涂黑。之后你就对人说，我敢打赌你不能把这硬币从你的额头一直滚到下巴，而不会掉下来。一旦他们这样做了，脸的正中间就会留下一条长长的黑线。
Ben: Can I do it to you?
我可以对你这样吗？
Rachel: Yeah, I'm funny Ben, but I'm not stupid. Okay?
本，我很有趣，但我不笨。
Joey: So, did you find anyone to marry you guys yet?
你们找到牧师了吗？
Chandler: No, but Horny for Monica Minister called, wanting to know if we were still together.
没有 但"痴想莫妮卡"牧师打电话来了，想知道我们分手没有。
Monica: We're never gonna find anybody.
我们永远也找不到合适的人选。
Joey: Well then let me do it!
那就让我做吧！
Chandler: Joey…
乔伊…
Joey: No! Look, I've been thinking about it. I'm an actor right? So I won't get nervous talking in front of people. I won't spit, and I won't stare at Monica's breasts! You know? Everyone knows I'm an ass man!
不！，我想过了。我是演员，对吧？所以我在众人面前讲话不会紧张。我不会喷口水，也不会瞪着莫妮卡的胸看。大家都知道我对屁股情有独钟。
Monica: That is true.
那倒是真的。
Joey: Yeah and the most important thing is that it won't be some like, stranger up there who barely knows you. It'll be me! And I swear I'll do a really good job. Plus, you know I love you guys and it would really mean a lot to me.
最重要的，在台上的不会是不了解你们的陌生人。而是我！我发誓一定会做得很好。再说，我爱你们两个，这对我来说会非常有意义。
Monica: Might be kinda cool.
还挺带劲的。
Joey: So I can do it?
那我可以做吗？
Chandler: Yeah you can do it.
行啊，你可以做。
Joey: All right! Okay! All right! Okay, I gotta get started on my speech! Oh, wait a minute, Internet ministers can still have sex right?
太好了！太好了！好的，我要开始准备讲稿了！噢，等一下，网上注册牧师仍可以有性生活，对吗？
Chandler: Yeah.
是的。
Rachel: Come in.
进来。
Ross: I have a bone to pick with you.
我要找你算账。
Rachel: Uh-oh.
惨了。
Ross: Yes! Ben learned a little trick.
没错！本学会了一个恶作剧。
Rachel: Oh yeah? Did he pull the old…
是吗？他是不是拿…
Ross: That's right! That's right! Saran Wrap on the toilet seat so the pee goes everywhere!
没错！没错！保鲜膜裹在马桶座上，所以尿得到处都是！
Rachel: Oh that.
噢，那个。
Ross: Yeah that! You know I hate practical jokes! They're mean and they're stupid and I don't want my son learning them!
对，那个！你知道我讨厌恶作剧！又低级又愚蠢。我不想我儿子学这些鬼东西！
Rachel: Oh, come on! Saran Wrap on the toilet seat, you don't think that's just a little funny? !
噢，不至于吧！保鲜膜裹在马桶座上，你就不觉得有一点点有趣？！
Ross: I was barefoot. Now tell me, the toilet thing is the only thing you taught him right?
我当时光着脚。告诉我，你只教了他马桶那玩意儿是不？
Rachel: Yes.
对。
Joey: Say hello to Reverend Joey Tribbiani!
向乔伊·崔比安尼牧师问好吧！
Monica: You did it! You got ordained? !
你去申请了！你得到任命了？！
Joey: Yeah, I just got off the Internet! Man, there is a lot of porn out there!
是啊，我刚刚下线！天，网上色情的东西真不少！
Chandler: Our minister…
我们的牧师…
Joey: Anyway, I started working on what I'm going to say for the ceremony, do you wanna hear it?
我准备好了婚典上说的话，想听吗？
Joey: Now, listen this is just a first draft so… "We are gathered here today on this joyous occasion to celebrate the special love that Monica and Chandler share." Eh? "It is a love based on giving and receiving. As well as having and sharing. And the love that they give and have is shared and received. And through this having and giving and sharing and receiving." "We too can share and love and have and receive."
这只是初稿，所以…"我们今天共聚在这欢快场合来庆祝莫妮卡和钱德所分享的特殊爱情"嗯？"这是基于给予和接受的爱。也是拥有和分享的爱。他们所给予和拥有的爱也是分享和接受的爱。通过这拥有和给予和分享和接受。"我们也能分享和爱和拥有和接受。
Chandler: Should we call the spitter?
要不要打电话给喷口水的那位？
Carol: Hey Rachel!
嘿，瑞秋！
Carol: What a nice surprise! What are you doing here?
真没想到！你怎么来了？
Rachel: Well you know I was just in the neighborhood and I passed by your building and I thought to myself, "What's up with Carol and sweet, little Ben?"
哦，我刚刚就在附近，经过你们这儿就想到，"不知卡罗尔和可爱的小本好吗？"
Carol: Can I ask what Come on in.
真有心，进来吧。
Rachel: Okay.
好。
Carol: I'll make some coffee and we can chat.
我煮点咖啡，我们可以聊聊天。
Rachel: I'd love that. I would love… So where is sweet little Ben? I would love to have a little…
好啊，很好。可爱的小本呢我想和小…
Rachel: I found him! Very funny, come here! That is exactly why I've come here to talk to you okay?
找到他了！真好笑，过来。我过来就是想找你谈这件事，好嘛？
Carol: Rach, do you want some sugar in your coffee?
瑞秋，咖啡里要加糖吗？
Rachel: Yes, oh…Do I want sugar in my coffee? No, just some milk would be good Carol. Thanks. Okay, do you remember all that stuff I taught you yesterday?
要，噢…我要在咖啡里该加糖吗？不用了，只要牛奶就行，卡罗尔谢谢。你记得我昨天教你那些东西吗？
Ben: Remember all that stuff I taught you yesterday?
记得我昨天教你那些东西吗？
Rachel: Don't do that.
别学我。
Ben: Don't do that.
别学我。
Rachel: Seriously, your dad doesn't like pranks.
说真的，你爸爸不喜欢恶作剧。
Ben: Seriously, your dad doesn't like pranks.
说真的，你爸爸不喜欢恶作剧。
Rachel: Oh damnit!
噢，该死的！
Ben: Oh damnit!
噢，该死的！
Rachel: No! Don't say that! Don't say that!
不！别说这个！别说这个！
Ben: Damnit!
该死！
Rachel: No don't! Go back to repeating!
不！别说这个！别说这个！
Ben: Damn it!
该死！
Rachel: Oh crap!
噢，屁话！
Ben: Oh crap!
噢，屁话！
Joey: Okay you guys, I got a little more written. Are you ready?
好，我又写了几句词。要听吗？
Chandler: Yeah. Okay.
好啊。
Joey: "When I think of the love that these two givers and receivers share, I can not help but envy the lifetime ahead of having and loving and giving and…" And then I can't think of a good word for right here.
"当我想到这两个给予者和接受者所分享的爱，就忍不住嫉妒他们这一生将要度过的拥有和爱慕和给予和…"下面我想不到一个好词。
Monica: How about receiving?
"接受"这个词怎么样？
Joey: Yes!
正是！
Chandler: See Joe, not that that's not great! But, one of the cool things about having somebody we know perform the ceremony is that it can be about us! You know, it can be more personal. You can tell stories about us!
乔伊，不是说你写的词不好，但朋友主婚的好处就在于婚礼可以围绕我们展开。更具个人特色，你可以讲讲我们的小故事！
Joey: Oh! Ooh! Okay, maybe I'll talk about London! You know when you two hooked up! Only, only I won't say hooked up. I'll say, "Began their beautiful journey…"
噢。好的要不说说伦敦吧！在那儿你们俩儿搞上了！只是，只是我不会说搞上了。我会说，"他们展开的美好旅程…"
Monica: There you go!
这就对了！
Joey: "…by doing it."
…是干出来的。
Chandler: Joey?
乔伊？
Joey: Okay. All right. so how did it happen? Did your eyes meet across the room? And then the next thing you know you're in the bathtub together and she's feeding you strawberries?
好。好的。那你们是怎么开始的？你们两个先对上了眼儿？接着你就发现你们在浴缸里，她在给你喂草莓？
Chandler: Isn't that what happened with you and the bride's maid?
那不是你和伴娘的风流史吗？
Joey: Yeah! I call that London style.
正是！我管那叫"伦敦派"。
Monica: No that is not what happened with us.
我们不是这么开始的。
Phoebe: Oh, But maybe you should say it is, because London style sounds nice.
也许你们应该说是的，因为"伦敦派"听着很带劲。
Monica: Well, I was really sad that night because this guy that I was Ross's mom. And then Chandler was, was really sweet and he consoled me. And well we drank too much…
好吧，那天晚上我很郁闷，因为有个家伙以为我是罗斯的妈妈。钱德勒对我很体贴，一直安慰我。我们喝得烂醉…
Joey: Yeah baby!
这就对了，宝贝！
Chandler: And I was a perfect gentleman and I walked her to her hotel room and said goodnight.
我当时可是个完美的绅士，我送她回酒店房间说再见。
Chandler: But then later that night…
但当晚晚些时候…
Joey: Yeah baby!
这就对了，宝贝！