Ross: Happy birthday!
生日快乐！
Monica: Happy birthday!
生日快乐！
All: Rach! Come on! Rach!
瑞秋！来过生日。瑞秋！
Monica: It's your birthday!
是你的生日耶！
Tag: Hey.
嘿！
Chandler: She's not as pretty as she was when she was 29.
她不像她29岁时那么漂亮了。
Tag: Ms. Green would like to establish some ground rules before she comes out. She would appreciate it if you don't use the words old or downhill or they still look pretty damn good.
在葛林小姐出来之前，她要先把几件事说清楚。她希望你们不要用到如"老"或者"走下坡"等字眼，或是"它们看来还是很棒"。
Joey: They do!
本来就是嘛！
Phoebe: Rachel! Come on out! Monica made breakfast!
瑞秋，出来。莫妮卡做了早餐。
Monica: Chocolate-chip pancakes!
巧克力脆皮饼！
Ross: We've got presents!
我们有礼物给你！
Rachel: Good ones?
送我好东西？
Monica: They all came from the list you handed out to us two weeks ago.
都是遵照你两周前，给我们开的单子买的。
Rachel: Well, can I keep the presents and still be 29?
我可以只收礼物，但仍然是29岁吗？
Joey: Come on Rach! Look, turning thirty is not that big a deal.
得了，瑞秋，30岁没那么可怕。
Ross: Oh really. Is that how you felt when you turned thirty?
是吗？你满30岁那天也这么豁达？
Joey: Why God? ! Why? ! We had a deal! Let the others grow old! Not me!
上帝？！为什么？！我们说好的！让别人变老，放过我！
Rachel: Oh come on you guys! Is it just me? Am I overreacting to this?
你们说说看，是不是只有我才反应过激？
Chandler: No Rach, it's not just you. My thirtieth birthday certainly wasn't that much fun.
不，瑞秋，不只有你。我的30岁生日也不好过。
Joey: And now Chandler! We're all getting so old! Why are you doing this to us? !
现在轮到钱德勒！我们都这么老了！你为什么这样对我们？！
Monica: Rach, you're in a great place in your life. Come on, you've got a great job! Good friends.
瑞秋，老天对你不薄，工作称心，朋友亲密。
Joey: Yeah, you're roommate is a soap opera star.
室友还是肥皂剧明星！
Monica: Your character is in a coma.
你的角色在昏迷。
Chandler: I promised myself I wasn't gonna cry at this one.
我答应自己这个生日一定不哭。
Rachel: Look, you know I know my life's going pretty well, but I look around and I just see so many people who've accomplished so many other goals by the time they're thirty.
我明白，我的生活一帆风顺。但是看看周围，那么多人在30岁前得偿所愿。
Phoebe: Yeah, but you shouldn't compare yourself to me.
是啊，但你不应该和我比。
All: Come on Phoebe! You can do it Phoebe! Come on!
来，菲比！你做得到的！菲比！来！
Rachel: There you go!
胜利了！
Phoebe: I did it! One mile on a hippity-hop! That's it! That's everything I wanted to do before I was thirty. Oh, except I wanted to patch things up with my sister. But oh well. Yay! And girls this thing is a Godsend if you know what I mean.
我成功了！骑行弹力球一英里！30岁前，心想事成了！没有遗憾，不过我还想和姐姐修好。不过，耶！姑娘们，这玩意儿真是天赐宝物，懂我意思吗？
Tag: Come on, let's have some fun. Huh? What do you want to do today?
别这样，来做点有趣的事吧，你想做什么？
Rachel: Nothing. I don't want to do anything.
什么也不做。我什么也不想做。
Monica: Well, doing nothing on your thirtieth is better than doing something stupid, like Ross.
30岁生日什么也不干，也胜过像罗斯那样干蠢事。
Ross: Hey! That was a practical purchase! I needed that car for transportation! Okay? I have a child!
住口！我买的实用品！我买车代步！懂吗？接送孩子！
Ross: How hot do I look in this, huh? !
我在这车里看来很拉风吧？！
Chandler: Ross, a sports car? Wouldn't it have been cheaper to just stuff a sock down there?
罗斯，跑车？要好看可以在鞋里垫双袜子，那样不是省钱一些？
Ross: That's not what this is about okay? I am a sports car enthusiast. I have always been into cars.
我不是图好看！我一直迷跑车，蓄谋已久要买车。
Joey: Hey, what's the horsepower on this thing?
这宝贝多大马力？
Ross: I don't know, but look how shiny!
不晓得，但它多炫！
Monica: I can't believe you bought this. So can I have a ride, stud?
真不敢相信你居然买了。帅哥，载我一程吧？
Ross: Hop in. Get ready for the smoothest ride of your life.
上车。准备好踏上你这辈子最稳的一程。
Ross: Damn it.
可恶。
Phoebe: Okay, who's next?
好，接下来谁坐？
Rachel: You know what? I am going to do something today. I'm not just gonna sit around like some old lady. I'm gonna get something pierced. Like my nose or my tongue or something.
今天我一定要做点什么。我不要像老太太一样闲坐在这儿。我要在身上打个洞。像是鼻子，舌头，或是别的地方。
Phoebe: Really? ! because you know that hurts.
真的？！那会很痛的。
Rachel: So what? ! You know what? The way I see it. Ow! Son of a bitch!
那又怎么样？！你知道什么？我是这么想的。呕！贱人！
Tag: Look Rachel, I know what you're going through. I'm totally freaked about turning 25.
瑞秋，我完全了解你的感受我要过25岁生日了，多可怕。
Rachel: Get out, get out of my apartment.
请你出去，滚出我的家，
Monica: Rach for what it's worth, I think that you're doing great. I mean you know let's face it, no one handles this well.
瑞秋，不管怎样，你还算坚强平心而论，谁过30岁生日不慌张。
Phoebe: Least of all you.
至少你们都不行。
Chandler: Would you put that back on? ! Monica's gonna be here any minute!
放回去，好吗？！莫妮卡随时可能回家！
Joey: But it hurt's my Joey's Apple.
可是乔伊的"苹果"会痛。
Chandler: Okay, for the last time. It's not named for each individual man.
最后一次告诉你那叫喉结。（Adam's apple，以亚当命名）
Mrs. Geller: You've done a wonderful job with this party. Chandler. Everything looks so lovely.
你把宴会办得真好，钱德勒，一切都很美。
Chandler: Oh well, not as lovely as you. I mean, I can't believe that you would have a thirty-year-old daughter! And you! I can't believe that you would have a tux that's thirty years old!
比不上您可爱。您竟有30岁的女儿，匪夷所思！还有您！竟有一件30岁高龄的晚礼服！
Mr. Geller: It's older than that. Ross was actually conceived right near this tuxedo.
还不止呢，怀上罗斯那次，就有这件礼服作见证。
Rachel: Hey! Everybody hide! Hide! I saw her! She's coming!
哦！快躲起来！我看见她了！她回来了！
Chandler: Everybody down! Everybody down!
大家蹲下！大家蹲下！
Chandler: Okay, everybody stay here. I will find out what's going on.
你们别动，我去侦察一下。
Monica: Hey! You got the door open!
嘿！你开门啦！
Chandler: Hey, are you drunk?
嘿，你喝醉了吗？
Monica: No! Okay. Whoa! Okay. See I was, I was a little nervous about turning thirty. So the bus boys took me out for some drinks. I wanna puke on you later!
没有！有点醉。哇！30岁让我有点紧张，所以侍者的助手就带我去喝了几杯，呆会吐你一身！
Chandler: Okay, here is the thing. We have thrown a very formal surprise party for you in there! All of your friends are in there and your parents!
听好，我们在家给你准备了相当正式的生日惊喜派对，亲友都在里边！包括你爸妈！
Monica: No!
不！
Chandler: Yes!
是的！
Monica: No!
不！
Chandler: Yes!
是的！
Monica: Oh no! My parents have never seen me drunk! That they know of.
我爸妈从没见过我喝醉！当然他们有所耳闻。
Chandler: Okay, here's the thing. We're gonna get you some coffee and they will never know that you're drunk.
有办法了你喝杯咖啡醒醒酒，你喝醉的事就会神不知鬼不觉。
Monica: Really? ! You promise?
真的？！你发誓？
Chandler: Yeah, I'll take care of it.
我是，我会搞定的。
Monica: Okay. I love you so much.
我好爱你。
Chandler: Okay we have to do something about your breath.
你满嘴酒气，我们得想个招敷衍过去。
Monica: What about your breath? !
你还不是一样！
Chandler: That's still yours. Okay, now remember it's a surprise party. So, when you go in, act surprised.
气味是你嘴里来的。记住，这是一个惊喜派对。你进去时要显得很惊讶。
Chandler: Ready?
好了吗？
All: Surprise!
惊喜！
Ross: Okay, forward. Forward. Stop! Okay, back...Stop! Okay, for...Stop! Stop! Stop!
好，前进，前进。停！好，退后，停！好，前停，停，停！
Phoebe: Okay. Okay, here's what we're gonna do. Okay, I'm gonna break into this mini-van and put it in neutral. You guys push it forward so Ross can drive out of his spot. Okay? All right, here we go. Haul ass!
好，我们这么做。我打开这台体旅车车门，将它放在空档。你们把它向前推，罗斯就能开出来了。好？来吧。快闪！
Phoebe: Happy thirtieth birthday! Here! It's for the child in you, and the woman. Happy thirtieth!
30岁生日快乐！给！献给你的童心，献给你的女人心，30岁快乐！
Ursula: Right, why do you keep saying that?
你翻来覆去是什么意思？
Phoebe: Because it's our thirtieth birthday.
因为今天是我们的30岁生日。
Ursula: Yeah, no we're not thirty. We're 31. Okay.
不，我们不是30，我们31岁了，好吗？
Phoebe: Wait!
等一下。
Ursula: Oh, it's you.
哦，是你。
Phoebe: Yeah. What? !
是，怎么？！
Ursula: Yeah, we're not thirty, we're 31.
对，我们不是30，我们是31。
Ursula: That's what is says on my birth certificate.
我的出生证明上是这么写的。
Phoebe: You have your birth certificate?
你有出生证明？
Ursula: Yeah, I got a big box of family stuff when my mom died.
我妈去世时，我拿到了一箱子家庭文件。
Phoebe: Our mom.
我们的妈。
Ursula: Right! Okay.
好！好。
Phoebe: Do you have my birth certificate?
有我的出生证吗？
Ursula: No, I sold it to a Swedish runaway.
没有了，我卖给瑞典逃犯了。
Phoebe: Oh my God! Oh my God, we are 31.
我的老天！我的老天，我们31了。
Ursula: Yeah.
是啊。
Phoebe: I just lost a whole year of my life.
我的生命，整整损失了一年
Ursula: Okay.
算是吧。
Phoebe: Your middle name is Pamela?
你的中间名是潘蜜拉？
Ursula: Yes.
对。
Phoebe: Well, I never knew mine. Do you remember what it is?
我从不知道我的是什么？你记得是什么吗？
Ursula: Yes! Phoebe.
记得！是菲比。
Phoebe: That's my first name.
那是我的名字。
Ursula: Right, okay, then no.
好吧，那我不知道。
Chandler: Look down. We made it across the room. You're doing great.
往下看，我们成功地穿过了客厅，你做的很好。
Phoebe: What's going on?
怎么回事？
Chandler: Monica's a little drunk.
莫妮卡有一点醉了。
Phoebe: Yay! I love drunk Monica! Oh, she's so much more fun than regular Monica.
我喜欢酒醉的莫妮卡。她比正常的莫妮卡有趣多了。
Chandler: She doesn't want her parents to know she's drunk.
她不想让她的父母知道她醉了。
Phoebe: Oh! All right! All right. Here's what we'll do, I'll get twice as drunk as Monica and then no one's will even notice her.
那好办，只要我喝得烂醉，比莫妮还失态，大家就不会注意到她了。
Rachel: What's going on?
怎么了？
Chandler: Monica's wasted.
莫妮卡醉了。
Ross: Maybe that will liven up this party.
这样也许派对会更有趣。
Chandler: Okay, will you just go help her change please!
去帮她换衣服！
Rachel: Okay, but taking care of a drunk, naked woman seems like a job for Joey.
照顾醉裸女，不是一向都由乔伊出马？
Tag: This one's from me. It wasn't on your list, but hopefully you'll think it's really fun.
这是我的礼物。这不是你的礼物单上，不过它真的很好玩。
Rachel: A scooter!
滑板车！
Ross: Stick to the list. Always stick to the list.
照着单子买。永远记得照着单子买。
Rachel: No! No, no, I love it. Thank you.
不，我很喜欢，谢谢。
Chandler: Okay, open ours next. Open ours next!
下一个开我们的礼物，下一个开我们的！
Joey: Now that you're a couple, we don't get two presents from you guys?
你们结婚以后就可以只送一份礼物？
Chandler: For my last birthday you gave me a hug! Okay, read the card! Read the card!
你呢？上次我生日，你送我一个拥抱！念卡片！念卡片！
Rachel: Okay. Happy birthday Grandma! It's better to be over the hill then buried under it. All our love Monica and Chandler. That's funny, yeah!
生日快乐奶奶！过了高峰（超过30岁），总比葬身山脚好，爱你的：莫妮卡和钱德勒。好好笑！
Chandler: No no no no! That was the joke!
不不不！只是一个玩笑。
Rachel: No, I know! I get it! It's funny!
我知道！我看明白了，所以说好笑！
Chandler: Because you're not a grandmother.
好笑的地方是，你并非祖母。
Rachel: No I know, because to be a grandmother you have to be married and have children and I don't have any of those things. That's why it's so funny.
对啊，要当祖母，必须结婚生子，而我根本不沾边，所以好好笑。
Monica: All you had to do was buy the card!
就让你买张卡还这么多事！