Chandler: So, it seems like this uh Internet thing is here to stay uh?
看来因特网是不会消失了？
Monica: It's ok not to talk.
不说话也没关系。
Rachel: Hey, you guys! Guess what? Barry and Mindy are getting a divorce!
你们猜怎样？贝瑞和明蒂要离婚了！
Monica: Oh, my God!
天哪！
Phoebe: Wow!
哇噢！
Joey: What is the matter with you? !
我你是怎么搞的？
Phoebe: No! Barry and Mindy.
不，是贝瑞和明蒂。
Joey: Oh, sorry, I hear divorce I immediately go to Ross. Who who's Barry and Mindy?
对不起，我一听到离婚就觉得是罗斯，谁是贝瑞和明蒂？
Rachel: Barry was the guy that I almost married and Mindy was my best friend.
贝瑞是我差点要嫁的人，明蒂是我最要好的朋友。
Joey: Ohh oh, wasn't he cheating on you with her?
他们不是有一腿吗？
Rachel: Yeah, but that just means that he was falling asleep on top of her instead of me.
对，但那只表示他做到一半，会在她身上睡着。
Monica: Why did they get divorced?
他们为什么要离婚？
Rachel: Well, apparently she caught him cheating on her with someone else. Isn't that sad?
显然是他外遇，被她逮到很悲哀吧？
Rachel: God, could you imagine if I actually married him? ! I mean how different would my life be?
要是我真的嫁给他，我的人生会多么不同。
Ross: I know what you mean, I've always wondered how different my life would be if if I'd never gotten divorced.
我懂你的意思，我总是在想，要是我没有离婚会怎样。
Phoebe: Which time?
哪一次？
Ross: The first time! No seriously, imagine if Carol hadn't realized she was a lesbian.
第一次啦真的，要是卡萝没发现她是同性恋。
Joey: I can't. I keep seeing it the good way.
我无法想像。我老是往好的方面去想。
Ross: I bet I'd still be doing my karatay. Towards the end of our marriage I was doing a lot of karatay as a way of releasing the tension from, you know, not doing anything else physical.
那我一定还在练控手道 （空手道），后来我经常练控手道，好发泄缺乏肉体运动的精力。
Chandler: Maybe the problem was you were pronouncing it karatay.
也许你不念成控手道就没事了。
Monica: And what if I was still fat? Well, you you wouldn't be dating me, that's for sure.
如果我还是很胖呢？你一定不会跟我交往。
Chandler: Sure I would!
当然会！
All: Oh yeah! Come on! Yeah, oh, right!
少来了。
Chandler: What, you guys really think that I'm that shallow?
你们真的觉得我那么肤浅？
Ross: No, I just think Monica was that fat.
不，我只是觉得莫妮卡太胖。
Joey: Hey hey, imagine if I never got fired off Days Of Our Lives! Hey, hey, there's Carol again!
要是我没被 “我们的日子”开除呢？卡萝又出现了！
Chandler: What if I had had the guts to quit my job? I'd probably be writing for The New Yorker, being paid to be funny.
要是我有勇气辞职呢？我可能在帮“纽约客”（美国第一位的文学杂志）写稿，拿钱搞笑。
Chandler: But my job's fun too! I mean, tomorrow, I I don't have to wear a tie.
现在的工作也很有趣，明天我不必打领带。
Phoebe: What if I'd taken that job at Merrill Lynch?
要是我去美林证券上班呢？
Ross: What? !
什么？
Rachel: Merrill Lynch?
美林证券？
Phoebe: Yeah, I had a massage client who worked there andand he said I had a knack for stocks.
对，我有个客人在那里上班，他说我有炒股票的头脑。
Rachel: Well why didn't you take the job?
那你怎么不去？
Phoebe: Because at that time you see, I thought everything that rhymed was true. So, I thought, you know, if I'd worked with stocks, I'd have to live in a box, and only eat lox, and have a pet fox.
因为当时我很相信押韵这回事，我觉得要是我去做股票，就得住地窖，只能吃安眠药，养三脚猫。
Chandler: Yeaaaah...you don't want that in a broker.
这种股票经纪人的确不是你想要的。
Ross: Hey, do you guys think that if all those things happened, we'd still hang out?
你们觉得如果有这些事，我们还会在一起吗？
Ross: Oh my God! Rachel Green?
天哪，瑞秋格林？
Rachel: Rob Tillman!
劳勃提尔曼！
Ross: No, no. It's, it's me, Ross!
不对，是我，罗斯！
Rachel: Oh, I'm sorry. Ross Tillman.
对不起，罗斯提尔曼。
Ross: No, no no, Ross Geller.
不是，是罗斯盖勒。
Rachel: Ohh, of course, Monica's brother!
当然了，莫妮卡的哥哥！
Ross: Yeah. Right.
没错。
Rachel: Wow! How are you? !
你好吗？
Ross: Good good, I'm I'm married.
很好，我结婚了。
Rachel: Ohh! Me too!
我也是！
Ross: Is isn't it the best?
婚姻岂不是妙不可言？
Rachel: Oh, it's the best! So, umm how's Monica?
的确。莫妮卡好吗？
Ross: Oh really, really great! Yeah! An actually she's right down the street, umm, do you, you know what? You should stop by and say hi.
非常好！事实上她就在前面，你应该过去打个招呼。
Rachel: Ohh, I would love to.
好啊。
Ross: Yeah oh oh, oh, she'd be so excited!
她会很高兴！
Rachel: Ohh! Ok!
好！
Ross: Come on!
走吧！
Rachel: Oh wait, don't you have to pay for your, Busty Ladies?
等等，你不是要买……“巨乳女郞”？
Ross: No no no, that's it's ok. Some some kid asked me to pick it up for him, but I...
没关系的，是个小孩叫我代买的……
Rachel: Oh yeah? Okay.
是吗？好吧。……
Ross: Ok.
好了。
Rachel: What Don't you, to give him his money back?
可是你不用把钱还给那个小孩吗？
Ross: Uhhuh. Hey, here you go buddy. Sorry, no porn for you. Ok, let's go see Monica!
拿去吧，抱歉，你不能看色情书。我们去找莫妮卡吧！
Joey: So, Monica, still going out with Dr. Boring huh?
莫妮卡，你还在跟无聊医生交往？
Monica: He's not boring! He's just, he's just low key.
他才不无聊，他只是……只是比较低调。
Monica's Boyfriend: Here you go, one Hazelnut latte.
你的榛果拿铁。
Monica: Thanks.
谢谢。
Monica's Boyfriend: Yeah. You know, the hazelnut, actually not a nut, it's a seed.
其实榛果不是果实，而是种子。
Joey: Wow! !
哇噢！！
Monica's Boyfriend: Can anyone else name a well known seed that's been masquerading as a nut?
还有谁能说出一种假装是果实的常见种子？
Joey: Oh dear God, let me see.
天哪，我想想看。
Chandler: Hey.
嘿。
Joey: Hey.
嘿。
Monica: Oh no! What's the matter?
你怎么了？
Chandler: Oh I just got another rejection letter. They said my writing was funny, just not "Archie Comic funny."
我又被退稿了。他们说我的东西很有趣，只是不如“阿奇漫画”有趣。
Monica's Boyfriend: You know what honey? I gotta get back to the hospital.
亲爱的，我得回医院了。
Monica: All right.
好。
Monica's Boyfriend: Ok.
好的。
Monica: Bye.
再见。
Monica's Boyfriend: Byebye. Oh uh, by the way, the answer is, the Brazil nut.
再见。对了，答案是巴西坚果。
Chandler: Was his question what's more boring than him? And nice sweater vest by the way. Pffft.
他的问题是什么比他的人更无趣？好帅的毛线背心啊。
Monica: Stop it guys. He's sweet.
你们别这样，他人很好。
Joey: Yeah. Yeah. Hey man, sorry about that Archie thing. Do you uh, need me to give you some money?
是啊老兄，退稿的事真可惜，你要我借给你一些钱吗？
Chandler: I may have no money, but I still have my pride.
我穷归穷，还是有骨气。
Joey: Really?
是吗？
Chandler: Ehh.
额。
Monica: Hey, maybe Joey doesn't have to give you the money, TV stars have assistants, right?
也许乔伊不必给你钱，电视明星都有助理对吧？
Joey: That's an idea! Hey, if I hired an assistant, would would you take money from her?
这个办法好，要是我请助理转交，你会收吗？
Monica: No, Joey! Chandler could be your assistant! See, he could answer all of your fan mail and stuff!
不是啦，钱德可以当你的助理，他可以帮你回信给影迷！
Joey: That's great! That would be great! Let's do that!
太好了，好主意，就这么办吧！
Chandler: I could use the money; it could give me time to write.
我有钱领，还有时间写作。
Joey: All right great! Welcome aboard!
漂亮，欢迎加入！
Chandler: Ok!
感谢！
Joey: All right! Now, hey, I need to use the bathroom. Since I don't need any assistance in there, take a break!
我现在要去上厕所，我上厕所不用人帮，你就休息吧！
Chandler: All right!
好！
Phoebe: Hey!
嘿！
Monica: Hey Phoebe! Guess what?
嘿菲比，你猜怎样？
Phoebe: What?
怎样？
Monica: Joey just hired Chandler to be his assistant!
乔伊找钱德当他的助理1
Phoebe: Ohh, that's so sweet! Oh! Hang on! Hang onnn! Go! No! No no! I said sell when it hits 50! 5O, it's a number! It comes after 49! !
真好！等一下，等我一下，说！不对，不对！我是说一到50点就卖！50是一个数字，在49后面！
Phoebe: No, it's ok. It's ok, you're allowed one mistake. Just kidding, you are of course fired.
没关系，一次错误可以接受，开玩笑的，你当然被开除了。
Phoebe: Aw. Oh what a shame! I really liked her.
真可惜，我很喜欢她。
Ross: Hey, Mon!
嘿！莫！
Monica: Hey!
嘿！
Ross: Mon, look who I ran into!
莫妮卡，你看我遇见谁！
Monica: Oh my God! Rachel! ! You you look terrific!
天哪，瑞秋！你看起来太不可思议了！
Rachel: Ohh, so do you! Did you lose weight?
你也是！你是不是瘦了？
Monica: You are so sweet to notice! Yes, I lost three and a half pounds!
你居然注意到了！没错，我瘦了3.5磅！
Ross: And, you you remember my friend Chandler. And that's Phoebe over there!
记得我的朋友钱德吧！那位是菲比！
Phoebe: Hi!
嘿！
Monica: My God, sit down! Sit down. How long has it been since we've seen each other?
天哪，快坐下！我们多久没见面了？
Ross: 1987, the day after Christmas, Sean McMahon's party. I played you one of my songs, you know Interplanetary Courtship Ritual.
1987年，圣诞节第二天。西恩麦克曼的派对我弹了我的创作曲给你听 “星际求爱仪式”。
Rachel: Oh yeah. Right. So they, are are they still you still, do music?
喔对。你还在玩音乐吗？
Ross: Oh sometimes, yeah, you should come over sometime! I'll play you one of my other...
偶尔，你应该来我家，我弹……
Rachel: Oh my God! Joey Tribbiani from Days of Our Lives, just walked in here!
天哪，“我们的日子”的乔伊崔比亚尼刚刚走进来！
Monica: Rach, he's a friend of ours.
瑞秋，他是我们的朋友。
Rachel: You are friends with Dr. Drake Remoray?
你们是雷莫瑞医生的朋友？
Chandler: Well it's kinda hard to be friends with Drake because of his busy schedule and the fact that he's not real.
要跟他交朋友有点难，因为他很忙，又是个虚构人物。
Ross: Hey, hey, or I could bring my keyboard here sometime!
我也可以把键盘带来。
Rachel: He's coming over! He's coming over!
他过来了！他过来了！
Monica: Joey!
乔伊！
Joey: I know, here, here!
好啦，拿去！
Monica: Ohh! No! This is my friend Rachel, we went to high school together.
不是啦，这是我朋友瑞秋，我们是高中同学。
Rachel: Hi!
嗨！
Joey: Hi!
嗨！
Rachel: Hi! I love you on that show! I watch you everyday! I mean, when you took out your own kidney to save your exwife even though she tried to kill you...
我好喜欢你演的戏！我每天都看！你的前妻明明想杀你，你还捐肾救她……
Joey: Well, it's always nice to meet the fans.
遇见影迷总是很开心。
Rachel: Ah!
啊！
Joey: She's not crazy, is she?
她不会很神经吧？
Monica: No.
不会。
Joey: So, uh, how you doing?
所以……你好吗？
Phoebe: Hang on! Hang on! Hang on! Go! Who's this? Oh, ok, you're gonna like working for me. What's your name? What kind of name is Brendy? I...Whatever...Stop talking! All right, frofrom now on your name is Joan. You can pick your own last name.
等等……等等，等一下说谁？好，你要替我工作。你叫什么名字？布伦蒂是什么鸟名字？我……随便……闭嘴好！以后你就叫琼安。姓你自己选。
Chandler: I can't find my pen. Did you eat that too?
我找不到我的笔。也被你吃掉了吗？
Joey: Hey, there you are!
你在这里！
Chandler: Uhoh, it's my boss!
是老板大人！
Joey: All right, here's a list of things for you to do today. Man, this gonna be so great, thank you so much! All right, I gotta go to work I'm delivering twins today, but only one of 'em is mine!
这是你今天的工作项目。太好了，谢谢你！我要去给双胞胎接生了，但只有一个是我的骨肉！
Chandler: Drop off my dry cleaning. Pick up my vitamins. Teach me how to spell vitamins. Wear in my new jeans.
把衣服送去干洗。去拿我的维他命。教我怎么写维他命。把我的新牛仔裤穿软。
Monica: You realize what you are, don't you?
你知道你的角色吧？
Chandler: What?
什么角色？
Monica: You're his bitch.
你像他的婆娘。
Phoebe: No no! No!
不！不！
Monica: Oh wait! You didn't just sit on my KitKats, did you? !
你不是压坏了我的巧克力酥吧！
Phoebe: No! There there was a little, a little dip in the market and I lost 13 million dollars.
不是，市场出了点变化，我损失了1千3百万。
Chandler: But the KitKats are all right? !
不过巧克力酥没事吧？
Phoebe: What am I gonna do? ! What am I gonna do? ! I can't call my office they'll kill me! I can't call my clients they'll kill themselves! Great, now my chest hurts.
怎么办？怎么办？通知公司，我会被砍死！通知客户，他们会砍自己！好啊，现在又胸口痛。
Monica: What? !
什么？
Phoebe: My chest hurts! Oh, and now I I can't breathe.
我的胸口在痛，现在是喘不过气来。
Chandler: Phoebe, are you having a heart attack? !
菲比，你是心脏病发作吗？
Phoebe: Oh, if I were, would would I have shooting pains up and down my left arm?
如果是，左臂会来回抽痛吗？
Monica: Yes!
会！
Phoebe: Then yes that is what I'm having.
那就是了。
Monica: Oh my God!
我的天哪！
Phoebe: Ok, yeah. Ok, this this thing is useless, so, will you dial 911 for me?
我的手动不了了，帮我拨911好吗？
Ross: Come on Pheebs, it's not that bad! You know most people would be excited if they didn't have to work for a couple of weeks.
别这样，没那么严重！一般人如果可以休息两星期会很兴奋的。
Phoebe: Yeah, most people don't like their jobs, I love my job! I've been not working for three hours and I'm already going crazy. I miss Joan.
一般人不喜欢他们的工作，我喜欢我的工作，我才休息3小时就快疯掉了，我想念琼安。
Monica: Honey, having a heart attack is nature's way of telling you to slow it down.
心脏病发就表示你该放慢脚步。
Chandler: I always thought having a heart attack was nature's way of telling you to die! But you're not gonna die. I mean, you are going to die, but you're not gonna die today. I wish I was dead.
我一直以为心脏病发就表示你要死了，但是你不会死！你迟早会死，但不是今天。我去死算了。
Monica: Let's take a walk. You know maybe you should consider writing for Talking Out of Your Ass magazine!
我们去走走。你应该考虑去替 “用屁股讲话”杂志写稿！
Phoebe: So what's going on with you?
你最近怎么样？
Ross: Well, umm, I've been um doing a lot more of my karatay.
我练控手道练得更勤了。
Phoebe: Still going through that dry spell with Carol?
跟卡萝还在干枯期？
Ross: Yeah.
对。
Phoebe: Yeah. How long has it been since you had sex?
你们多久没上床了？