Monica: What's the matter?
怎么了？
Chandler: Someone on the subway licked my neck! Licked my neck! !
有人在地铁舔我的脖子！舔我的脖子！！
Phoebe: Oh Willie's still alive!
喔，威利冤魂不散！
Chandler: What are you guys doing?
你们做什么呢？
Monica: Oh, my mom called, they're gonna run our engagement announcement in the local paper, so we're looking for a good picture of us.
喔，我妈说要在本地报纸登订婚启示，所以要找张拍得好的照片。
Chandler: Oh, I'm afraid that does not exist.
哦，恐怕我们就没有好看的合照。
Monica: That's not true, there are great pictures of us!
不对，我们拍过很多好照片！
Chandler: No, there are great pictures of you standing next to a guy who's going like this…
你那些好照片，旁边的人都是这样的…
Phoebe: Oh my God! That's the creep that you're with at the Statue of Liberty.
天啊！他就是在自由女神像旁跟你合照的怪胎。
Chandler: I don't know what it is, I just can't take a good picture.
我不知道为什么，我就是不会照相。
Monica: Oh, here's a great one.
这张蛮好的。
Chandler: Yeah, I'm not in that.
哦，我不在照片里。
Monica: I know, but look at me all tan.
我知道，但你看我晒的多黑。
Phoebe: Hey, why don't you guys go, get portraits done by a professional photographer.
嘿，你们不如找专业摄影师拍照。
Monica: That's a good idea! I bet they have one of those wind machines! You know…
好主意！他们一定有吹风机！
Phoebe: Yeah that's great! Next to that, Chandler won't look so stupid.
对，好极了！你真的那么做的话，钱德勒应该看起来没那么蠢。
Monica: Chandler what do you say?
钱德勒你觉得呢？
Chandler: All right, but I should warn you, I'm not going. “I'm” going.
好的，但我先声明，去的不是我，是这个"我"。
Ross: Dude, that reverse lay-up! Oh…
兄弟，那一记反手投篮帅呆了。
Chandler: How about those three pointers?
那些三分球怎么样？
Ross: Amazing!
出神入化！
Chandler: And those guys were this close to letting us play this time too.
这次也是差一点，那些家伙就答应让我们上场了。
Rachel: Hey, look. Phoebe's talking to Cute Coffeehouse Guy.
你们看，菲比在跟咖啡厅帅哥说话。
Ross: Oh, you guys call him Cute Coffeehouse Guy, we call him Hums While He Pees.
你叫他咖啡厅帅哥吗？我们叫他边尿边哼歌先生。
Chandler: Yes, and we call Ross Lingers In The Bathroom.
是，我们管罗斯叫"浴室磨蹭鬼"。
Phoebe: Hey you guys, Hums While He Pees just asked me out!
嗨，各位，边尿边哼歌先生刚刚约我出去了！
Rachel: Hey, I thought that guy was married.
我以为那个家伙已经结婚了。
Phoebe: He is! But he's getting divorced, Ross! Maybe you know him.
对，但他正在办离婚。罗斯，或许你认识他。
Ross: It's not a club.
又不是（离婚）俱乐部。
Rachel: Phoebe, if this guy's going through a divorce, is it such a good idea to start going out with him?
菲比，如果他正在办离婚，你觉得跟他约会合适吗？
Ross: Hey, divorced men are not bad men!
嘿，离婚男人不是坏男人。
Chandler: They have that on the napkins at the club.
他们把那句话印在俱乐部的餐巾上。
Rachel: Oh, I gotta get back to work.
我得回去上班了。
Phoebe: You don't have to be back for a half-hour!
你还可以休息半小时。
Rachel: Yeah but, my assistant Tag does sit-ups in the office during lunch. Oh! I could just spread him on a cracker.
我的助理泰格午餐时，会在办公室做仰卧起坐。他就像黄油果酱一样香甜可口。
Chandler: Rach, if you have a crush on this guy, why would you hire him? I mean you know you can't date him right?
你既然暗恋他，为什么还要雇他？我想你知道你不能跟他约会，对吗？
Rachel: Oh no, I know that. I know that. Although, we made a joke that we spend so much time together he should call me his “work wife”.
对，我知道。我们开玩笑说，因为我们太常在一起，他应该叫我"工作上的太太"。
Ross: Soon he'll be able to call you, "That lady he knew that got fired.".
他迟些时候会叫你"被炒鱿鱼的女人"。
Rachel: I am not gonna get fired, because I'm not gonna act on it.
我不会被开除，因为我不会采取行动。
Phoebe: So you wouldn't mind if he was dating someone else?
你不介意他跟别的女人约会？
Rachel: Why? Is he? He is! Isn't he? He's dating that slut in marketing!
怎么了？他有吗？他有是不是！他在跟市场部那个荡妇约会！
Ross: Maybe I should open a divorced men's club.
或许我该成立一个离婚男子俱乐部。
Chandler: Dude that is so sad.
兄弟，那太惨了。
Ross: I could put a basketball court in the back.
我会在后院设一个篮球场。
Chandler: Could I play?
我能一起打球吗？
Rachel: Oh, no sit-ups today Tag?
今天不做仰卧起坐吗，泰格？
Tag: I just did them.
我刚刚做完。
Rachel: Oh, well drop and give me ten more!
再做十下吧。
Tag: What?
什么？
Rachel: Uh, I had a drink with lunch. Did those cost reports come in?
我午饭时喝了点酒。成本报告送过来了吗？
Tag: Yeah, I filled them out last night?
送来了，我昨晚就已经归档了。
Rachel: Oh, great could you make me four copies of those?
喔，太好了，帮我影印四份好吗？
Tag: Sure.
没问题。
Rachel: Great, thank you.
太棒了，谢谢你。
Melissa: Hey Rachel!
嗨，瑞秋！
Rachel: Ah, hi! Hi! Melissa, what's up? I'm just…about to… go out to the store to get some stuff to put in my backpack. You know, like dried fruit and granola and stuff. What's up?
梅丽莎，有什么事吗？我正好要去买东西，买些东西放进我的背包里。水果干、速食麦片，那一类的东西。有什么事吗？
Melissa: Um, is Tag here?
泰格在吗？
Rachel: No. Why?
不在。什么事？
Melissa: Oh, I was gonna talk to him about doing something tonight.
喔，我今天晚上想约他。
Rachel: Really? ! Got a little crush on Tag there do you?
真的吗？！你喜欢泰格，对吧？
Melissa: Well, we've been flirting back and forth, but I was hoping that tonight it would turn into something a little more than that.
我们一直都在眉来眼去的，但我希望今晚事情能有点进展。
Rachel: Okay, whoa-whoa easy there Melissa! This ain't a locker room, okay? But, you know I remember him saying that he had plans tonight.
别着急，梅丽莎，这里不是更衣室。但我记得他说过，今晚他已经有约了。
Melissa: Oh no!
喔，不会吧！
Rachel: Oh yeah. All right, back to work.
真的。好了，回去工作。
Melissa: Hey! Isn't that Tag's backpack.
嗨！那不是泰格的背包嘛。
Rachel: Yeah Melissa, I don't want to be known as the office bitch, but I will call your supervisor.
梅丽莎，我不想落下办公室贱人的名称，但是我会给你的主管打电话。
The Photographer: Great! That's great Monica! Great! Now, Chandler, you want to give us a smile?
太棒了，非常不错，莫妮卡。钱德勒，你能笑一个吗？
Chandler: Okay.
好。
The Photographer: I'm sorry, is the seat uncomfortable?
抱歉，那张椅子很不舒服吗？
Chandler: No, I am.
不，是我很不舒服。
Monica: Chandler, listen to me sweetie, I know you can do this. Okay? You have a beautiful smile.
钱德勒，听我说甜心，我知道你办得到，你笑起来很帅。
Chandler: I do?
是吗？
Monica: Yeah! All right, maybe you don't have to smile. Let's try something else. Let's try looking sexy.
是，对，或许你不必笑，我们来试试别的点子。试着性感。
Chandler: Okay.
好吧。
Monica: Or not.
还是不要了。
Rachel: Hi Joey! What are you doing here?
嗨，乔伊，你在这里做什么？
Joey: Uh, well I've got an audition down the street and I spilled sauce all over the front of my shirt. You got an extra one?
我在附近有个试镜，结果酱汁沾到衣服上了。你有多余衬衫吗？
Rachel: Yeah, sure. here.
是，当然有。给。
Joey: Great. You got anything that's not Ralph Lauren?
太棒了。有除了拉尔夫·劳伦外其他品牌吗？
Rachel: Yeah, I don't think so Joe.
应该没有，乔伊。
Joey: All right, I guess this will be fine.
好吧，我猜这件应该可以。
Rachel: Hey, listen, what are you doing tonight?
嗨，今晚有事吗？
Joey: Nothing, why?
嗨，今晚有事吗？
Rachel: How would you feel about taking out my assistant Tag? I'll pay.
带我的助理泰格出去玩吧？我付钱。
Joey: Huh, Rach I got to say it's gonna take a lot of money for me to go out on a date with a dude.
瑞秋，我不得不说，要我跟男人出去约会可得付我一大笔钱。
Rachel: I'm not asking you to go on a date with him!
我不是要你跟他约会。
Joey: Really? because I could kinda use the money.
真的吗？因为我真的很缺钱。
Rachel: Joey, just he's new in town and I know he doesn't have any guy friends. Just take him to like a ball game or something. I'll really appreciate it.
乔，他刚搬到这里，我知道他没有多少男性朋友。带他去看球赛或做别的事，谢谢了。
Joey: Yeah, okay, no problem.
好的，没问题。
Rachel: Thank you.
谢谢你。
Joey: Oh Hey, donuts!
哦，甜甜圈！
Monica: I know. Let's try a look…of far off…wonderment.Okay, we'll gaze into our future and we'll think about our marriage and the days to come.
我想到了，我们来试试看凝视我们的未来。想想我们的婚姻和我们未来的日子。
Monica: Chandler! What is the matter with your face? ! I mean this picture is supposed to say "Geller and Bing to be married," not "Local woman saves drowning moron!"
钱德勒，你的脸到底是怎么了？！这张照片应该要表达"盖勒和宾要结婚了"而非"英勇女市民勇救溺水弱智"！
Monica: Hey! Don't laugh at him! He's my drowning moron!
别笑他，他是我的溺水弱智。
Monica: That's it! Take it! Take it! Take it!
就是这样，快照，快照。
Ross: I like this one. It seems to say, "I love you and that's why I have to kill you."
我喜欢这一张。好象是说"爱你爱到杀死你"。
Monica: They can't all be bad. Find the one where you make your bedroom eyes. Oh, there it is.
不可能每一张都那么糟啊。找那张你装出睡眼惺忪的照片。这张。
Chandler: Oh my God! Those are my bedroom eyes?! Why did you ever sleep with me?
这是我睡眼惺忪的样子？！你怎么敢跟我同床共枕？
Monica: Do you really want to pull at that thread?
你真的想提这件事情吗？
Phoebe: I'm having a really good time!
我真的玩得很开心！
Hums While He Pees: Me too! I'm sorry that guy in the subway licked your neck.
我也是！我很抱歉在地铁里那个男人舔了你的脖子。
Phoebe: Oh. No that's okay, he's a friend.
喔，没关系，他是我的朋友。
Hums While He Pees: Hey, I don't mean to be presumptuous but I have these two tickets to the ballroom dancing finals tomorrow night if you want to go?
嗨，我知道这样有点急，但是我有两张明天天晚上舞蹈决赛的门票，一起去好吗？
Phoebe: Yeah, Well you know I mean I missed the semi-finals, so I'd just be lost.
好的，我已经错过了半决赛，我还以为连决赛也会错过。
Hums While He Pees: I know it's really lame, but I got these tickets from my boss and… Oh no! No! No! My God!
我知道那真的很无聊，但这些票是我的老板给我的...不，我的天啊！
Phoebe: Okay, don't freak out. I'll go.
别惊慌，我会去的。
Hums While He Pees: No it's… Uh, my ex-wife Whitney is out there. I cannot deal with her right now. That woman is crazy!
我的前妻维妮在外边，我不想见她。她是个疯女人。
Phoebe: Okay, I know. Hold on. Hey Ross?
好的，我知道了。等一下。嗨，罗斯。
Ross: Yeah?
什么事？
Phoebe: Yeah, that's Whitney, Kyle's ex-wife out there, now do you think that you can y' know divert her so that we can slip out?
凯尔的前妻维妮在门口，你现在可以转移她的视线，让我们逃走吗？
Ross: What? ! No!
什么？不！
Phoebe: Well okay but I have two tickets to the ballroom dance finals.
好吧，但我有两张国标舞总决赛的门票。
Ross: Look, I don't think so Pheebs. All right, I'll do it. But just because you're a friend.
看，我不这么想，菲比。好吧，我帮你就是了，但那只是因为你是我的朋友。
Phoebe: Hi Ginger.
嗨，舞王。
Ross: All right! I want my key back!
好的！我要拿回我的钥匙！
Phoebe: I don't have it!
我这没。
Ross: It's right there!
就在这里！
Phoebe: Okay Sherlock!
行吧，福尔摩斯。
Ross: I'm sorry but you better go Pheebs.
不好意思，但你最好快点离开，菲比。
Phoebe: All right, well I just wanted to say thank you though for diverting Kyle's ex.
好吧，我只是来谢谢你帮我们引开凯尔的前妻。
Ross: Oh yeah, No, You're welcome. We'll talk about it later.
是啊，别客气，待会再谈。
Ross: Hi Whitney.
嗨，维妮。
Whitney: Hi Ross! You ready for breakfast?
嗨，罗斯！准备好去吃早饭了吗？
Ross: Yep. Okay.
好啦。
Phoebe: Kyle's ex-wife? You were supposed to divert her not date her!
凯尔的前妻？你应该要引开她，不是跟她约会。
Ross: Hi! I'm sorry, but can you give me a second while I talk to this woman, who by the way did not spend the night.
对不起，可以给我点时间跟这个女人谈一下吗？还有，她没有在这里过夜。
Whitney: Sure.
没问题。
Ross: Okay. I did divert her and we ended up having a great time! Okay?
好，我引开她了，但是我们在一起很开心，行吗？
Phoebe: Watching ballroom dancing?
你们一起去看国标舞了？
Ross: Yes! That's where we realized we were both super cool people!
是的！我们发现我们兴趣相投！
Phoebe: Well look-look, okay Ross, Kyle just told me some really bad stuff about her.
听着，罗斯，凯尔告诉我她很多坏毛病。
Ross: Like what?
譬如说呢？
Phoebe: Like she's really mean, and she's over critical, and No! She will paint a room a really bright color without even checking with you!
譬如说她很小气，她吹毛求疵，她会不经过你的同意，把房间漆成很明亮的颜色。
Ross: Okay.
好吧。
Phoebe: And! She uses sex as a weapon!
还有，她用性来做武器。
Ross: Fine! Thank you for warning me. At breakfast I'll be on full alert for room painting and sex weapons.
好的！谢谢你的忠告。吃早饭时，我会警惕房间的颜色还有性武器。
Phoebe: You're still gonna go out with her? !
你还是跟她出去？
Ross: Yeah!
对！
Phoebe: Well, didn't you just hear what I said? !
你没听到我说的吗？！
Ross: Pheebs come on! I mean, consider the source! Of course her ex-husband's gonna say that stuff. Now, if you'll excuse me.
菲比，少来了，你的消息来源有问题。她的前夫当然会那么说。现在，请你离开。
Phoebe: No, listen to me! She is crazy!
听我说，她是疯子！
Whitney: Uh, your door isn't sound proof.
呃，你的门没有隔音功能。
Phoebe: You see? Nothing is good enough for her!
看到了吧，她就是爱挑剔。