Mac: Well, if we learned one thing today C.H.E.E.S.E. is that cheerleaders and high explosives don't mix.
我们学会一件事，芝士啦啦队长跟强力火药不应该混在一起。
C.H.E.E.S.E: You can say that again Mac.
你说的没错，麦克。
Mac: Well, I couldn't have done it without you buddy. You're a genius.
光靠我一个人是不行的，你是个天才。
C.H.E.E.S.E: Oh yeah? Well then how come I can't get my VCR to stop blinking 12:00?
哦，真的？我的录像机总是闪烁着12:00，我怎么死活修不好？
Joey: So, what did you guys think?
嗯，你们觉得怎么样？
Monica and Chandler: Hey, the phone. I got it. I got it.
有电话，我来接，我来接。
Monica: Hello? Hold on please. Joey, it's your mom.
喂？请稍等。乔伊是你妈妈。
Chandler: It's your mommy. It's your mommy.
你妈咪，你妈咪。
Rachel: That's nice.
真好。
Joey: Mom, so what did you think?
妈，你觉得如何？
Rachel: Well that was Okay.
呃还不错。
Ross: It wasn't the best.
说不上是最好。
Chandler: That was one of the worse things ever. And not just on TV.
那是我看过最烂的东西，不光指的电视里播的。
Monica: What are we gonna tell him?
我们怎么对他说啊？
Ross: Well, the lighting was okay.
嗯，灯光效果不错。
Rachel: Oh no you don't! You got lighting last time, lighting is mine!
不行你不能说！你上次就说过灯光了，这回灯光归我了！
Monica: And I have costumes.
服装是我的。
Ross: Oh great! That means I'm stuck with, "So, we were watching you in there and you were sitting right here! Whoa!"
喔！好！那就是说，我只能继续说：“嘿，我们一边看着你在那儿，而你大活人就坐在这儿！哇噢！”
Rachel: What are you gonna do Phoebe?
你打算怎么办啊，菲比？
Phoebe: I don't know. I don't know. I can't lie to him again. Oh no I…no! I'm just gonna press my breasts up against him.
我不知道，我不知道。我不能再骗他了。噢 不！我…不！我就直接拿胸部压着他。
Chandler: And say nothing?
然后什么都不说？
Phoebe: Uh-huh, yeah that's right.
嗯，对，没错。
Joey: Wow! Well, my folks really liked it! So what did you guys think? It wasn't that good.
哇噢！看来我家里人还真是喜欢我的表演！嗯，你们，你们几个觉得如何？还没好到那个地步吧！
Monica: Phoebe, do you think that your favorite animal says much about you?
菲比，你相信从你最爱的动物上能看出你的人格吗？
Phoebe: What? You mean behind my back?
什么？它们背着我说我坏话啦？
Rachel: Oh! Hi you guys, oh my God! You'll never gonna believe happened to me today! I am sitting in my office and…
喔！嘿，各位。喔，天！你们绝对不会相信今天在我身上发生了什么！我正在办公室里面坐着，然后
Joey: You guys! You guys! You're not gonna believe what my agent just told me!
各位！各位！你们绝对不会相信我经纪人刚刚告诉了我什么！
Rachel: Joey! Kinda in the middle of a story here!
乔伊，我这边刚说了一半！
Joey: Oh, sorry. Sorry. You finish, go.
哦，对不起。你先说完，说吧。
Rachel: Okay, so anyway I'm sitting in my office and guess who walks in.
好吧，嗯，我正坐在办公室里，猜猜谁走近来了？
Joey: I'm gonna be on two TV shows!
我要参加两部电视剧的演出。
Monica and Phoebe: Oh, that's great!
太棒了。
Rachel: Joey!
乔伊！
Joey: Oh, you weren't finished?
呃，你还没说完？
Rachel: Yeah! "Guess who walks into my office" is the end of my story. It was Ralph Lauren! Ralph Lauren walked into my office!
对，"你猜谁进来了"就是故事的结局。是拉尔夫·劳伦！（瑞秋所在公司的老板）拉尔夫·劳伦走进了我的办公室！
Joey: Uh Rach, if you're gonna start another story, at least let me finish mine.
呃，瑞秋，要是你想开讲另一个故事，至少先让我说完啊。
Rachel: It's the same story.
我说的是同一件事。
Joey: Wow, it's really long.
还真长。
Rachel: Anyway, Ralph just came in to tell me that he's so happy with my work that he wants me to be the new merchandising manager for polo retail.
反正，拉尔夫走进来对我说，他对我的工作很满意，他要我当Polo牌子零售的销售经理！
Monica: Still get a discount on wedding dresses?
婚纱折扣还有吧？
Rachel: Yeah!
有啊。
Monica: I'm so happy for you!
我真为你高兴。
Joey: Well, These really are the "Days of our lives."
这确实是"我们的日子"啊。
Monica: What? !
什么？！
Joey: Well, since you ask. They want me back on Days of Our Lives!
既然你问起，他们要我回去演《我们的日子》。
Phoebe: Oh God!
噢，天哪！
Rachel: I got…I get a big pay raise!
我还得了…我还有大幅加薪！
Phoebe: Oh hey!
嘿！
Joey: I'll be playing Drake Remoray's twin brother, Stryker!
我要演的是德雷克·拉莫瑞医生的双胞胎弟弟，史特莱科。
Rachel: I get to hire my own assistant!
我还要雇一个我自己的助理！
Joey: Well, I got a head rush from standing up to fast right there.
站得太猛，有点头昏。
Rachel: And you were at this job for four years?
你做这行已经4年了？
Hilda: That's right.
对。
Rachel: Okay, well this is all very impressive Hilda, I just have one last question for you. Uh, how did I do? Was this okay?
令人印象深刻啊，希尔达。嗯，我还有最后一个问题。呃，我刚才表现怎么样？还行？
Hilda: What?
什么？
Rachel: I've never interviewed anyone before. I've actually never had anyone work for me before. Although when I was a kid, we did have a maid, but this is…this isn't the same thing.
我以前还从来没有面试过别人呢。事实上我没有过手下。我小时候家里有请佣人，但是，这，这还不是一回事。
Hilda: No dear. It's not.
不是，亲爱的。当然不是。
Rachel: No. Yeah, and I know that. All right, well thank you so much for coming in it was nice to meet you.
不是。对，我知道。好，呃，非常感谢您能过来见到您很高兴。
Hilda: Good meeting you.
见到你很高兴。
Rachel: All right. I'm a total pro!
好啦。我真是显得太专业了！
Man: Hello?
你好？
Rachel: Wow! Hi! Yes, uh I'm sorry the models are actually down the hall.
哇噢！嗨！是，呃，对不起，模特们应该在走廊那边。
Man: Actually, I'm here about the assistant job.
其实，我来是为了应聘助理。
Rachel: Really? !Okay well then, all right, well just have a seat there. Um, so what's your name?
好，那，好，那就坐吧。呃，你叫什么名字？
Man: Tag Jones.
泰格·琼斯。
Rachel: Uh-huh, go on.
嗯，继续。
Tag: That's it. That's my whole name.
就这样，那是我的全名。
Rachel: That's your whole name, okay of course it is! Okay, well let's just have a look-see here.
那是你的全名，当然。好，我们来看看这儿。
Tag: I know I haven't worked in an office before, and I really don't have a lot of experience, but uh…
我知道我没在办公室里面上过班，而且我没有什么经验，但是，呃
Rachel: Oh come on, what are you talking about? You've got three years painting houses. Two whole summers at T.G.I.Friday's, come on!
喔，拜托，你说什么哪？你有3年的粉刷房屋经验，星期五餐厅干过两个暑假，拜托啊！
Tag: It's lame, I know. But I'm a goal-oriented person, very eager to learn…
那很烂，我知道。但我非常有进取心，非常的好学…
Rachel: Okay, Just hold on a second.
好吧，你先等一下。
Rachel: Sorry, it's for human resources, everybody has to do it. Could you just stand up please?
对不起，这是人事要求的，人人都得做。你能站起来吗？
Chandler: No no no no.
不不不。
Chandler: Hey!
嗨。
Phoebe: Anyway, I should go. Okay, bye.
总之我该走了，好吧 再见。
Monica: Hey sweetie.
嘿，亲爱的。
Chandler: Hi sweetie. So, what was with all the whispering?
嘿 甜心。你们嘀嘀咕咕在说什么？
Monica: I can't tell you. It's a secret.
不能说，秘密。
Chandler: Secret? Married people aren't supposed to have secrets between one another. We have too much love and respect for one another.
秘密？结了婚的人之间不应该有秘密吧。我们深爱对方，相敬如宾。
Monica: But still no.
还是不行。
Chandler: No I'm serious, we should tell each other everything. I do not have any secrets from you.
不，我是认真的，我们应该告诉对方一切。我对你没有任何秘密。
Monica: Really? Okay, so why don't you tell me what happened to Ross Junior year at Disneyland?
真的吗，要不你来和我说下，罗斯在大三时，在迪士尼乐园发生了什么事。
Chandler: Oh no, I can't do that.
不，我不能说。
Monica: If you tell me, I'll tell you what Phoebe said.
如果你说，我就告诉你菲比说了什么。
Chandler: Okay.
好吧。
Monica: Okay.
好的。
Chandler: So, Ross and I are going to Disneyland and we stop at this restaurant for tacos. And when I say "Restaurant," I mean a guy, a hibachi and the trunk of his car. So Ross has about 10 tacos. And anyway, we're on Space Mountain and Ross starts to feel a little iffy.
罗斯跟我一起去迪士尼乐园玩。我们在一家“餐厅”吃墨西哥卷饼，其实那餐厅是一个人，和一块铁板，还有他改装了的房车。罗斯吃了十个墨西哥卷饼。总之我们在“太空山”（迪斯尼过山车）的时候，罗斯开始觉得不舒服。
Monica: Oh my God. He threw up?
天啊，他吐了吗？
Chandler: No, he visited a little town south of throw up. So what was Phoebe's secret?
不，他去的是个比“吐”还靠下面的小地方。好了，Phoebe的秘密是什么？
Monica: Oh, Nancy Thompson from Phoebe's old massage place is getting fired.
哦，菲比过去在按摩院的同事南希·汤姆森被解雇了。
Chandler: That's it? ! I gave up my Disneyland story for that?
这就完了？！我就拿我的迪斯尼故事换了这个？
Monica: That's right! You lose sucker! !Please still marry me.
没错，你输了，笨蛋！请还和我结婚啊。
Rachel: Chandler, you have an assistant right?
钱德勒，你有个助理，是吧？
Chandler: Did she call? You told her I was sick right? Always tell her I am sick!
她打电话了？你告诉她我病了是吧？不管什么时候都告诉她，我病了！
Rachel: No, I just don't know how you decide who to hire. I mean I've got it narrowed down to two people. One of them has great references and a lot of experience and then there's this guy…
不，我只是不能决定到底雇谁。我是说，我已经把范围缩小到了两个人。他们中的一个有很好的推荐信，还有很多经验，然后另外一个人是这个
Chandler: What about him?
他怎么了？
Rachel: I love him. He's so pretty I wanna cry! I don't know what to do. Tell me what to do.
我爱死他了。他帅得我都想哭了！我不知道怎么办了。告诉我应该怎么办。
Phoebe: Come on you know what to do! You hire the first one! You don't hire an assistant because they're cute, you hire them because they're qualified.
少来了，你知道应该怎么办！雇第一个啊！你雇个助理可不是因为他们帅，你雇他们是因为他们够资格。
Rachel: Uh-huh. No, I hear what you're saying and-and-and that makes a lot of sense but can I just say one more thing? Look how pretty!
啊哈。不，我听见你说的话了，而，而且说得非常的对，但是我能不能再说一句？看看他有多帅！
Phoebe: Let me see. Oh my God! Oh, But no! No! You can't…you can't hire him, because that…it's not professional. Um, this is for me. yes?
让我看看。噢，天！噢，但还是不！你不能雇他。因为那可不够专业。嗯，这是给我的吗？谢了。
Rachel: Okay you're right. I'll hire Hilda tomorrow. Dumb old perfect for the job Hilda!
好吧，你说的对，明天我会雇用希尔达。那个又蠢又老，适合这份工作的希尔达。
Chandler: Let me see this guy. Wow! Don't show this to Monica! And don't tell her about the "Wow".
让我瞧瞧。别让莫妮卡看到照片。别告诉她我说"哇"。
Terry: Hey Joey!
嗨，乔伊。
Joey: Hey Terry!
嗨，泰瑞。
Terry: Nice to see you again.
又见到你真高兴！好久不见了，哈？哇，真奇怪这些房间看上去比以前小了啊。
Joey: It's been a while, huh? Wow, it's funny these halls look smaller then they used to.
好久不见了，哈？哇，真奇怪这些房间看上去比以前小了啊。
Terry: It's a different building.
这是另一栋楼了。
Joey: So! Stryker Remoray huh? When do you want me to start?
那么，施特莱克是吧？我什么时候开始？
Terry: Why don't we start right now!
何不现在就开始呢？
Joey: Okay.
好吧。
Terry: Here are the audition scenes.
这是试镜的剧本。
Joey: Audition? I thought you were gonna offer me the part.
试镜，我还以为你们决定让我饰演那个角色。
Terry: Why would you think that?
你为什么会那么想？
Joey: Well, I was Dr. Drake Remoray, Stryker's twin brother. I mean, who looks more me than me right?
我演过德雷克医生，他是施特莱克的双胞胎哥哥。谁会比我长得更像我呢？
Terry: Everybody has to audition.
每个人都得参加试镜。
Joey: You know Terry, I don't really need to do this. I got my own cable TV series, with a robot.
你知道的 泰瑞，我不是非得要演这个。我有自己的有线电视剧，和个机器人一起。
Terry: I'm sorry, Joey, that's the way it is.
对不起，乔伊，这是规定。
Joey: Well. I guess you think you're pretty special huh? Sitting up here in your fancy small hall building. Making stars jump through hoops for ya, huh? Well you know what? This is one star who's hoop… This is a star that the hoop…this hoop…I was Dr. Drake Remoray!
那么 我猜你以为你很特别。你就在这漂亮小楼里好好坐着吧。让大明星们给你演钻圈玩？哈？你知道吗？这个明星就是圈…这明星就是那个圈…这个圈…我是德雷克医生！
Rachel: Hi! Tag. What are you doing here?
泰格，你在这里做什么？
Tag: I just wanted to come by and thank you for not laughing in my face yesterday. And I noticed there aren't any plants in your office so I wanted to bring you…your first… There is a plant in your office.
我是想过来谢谢你，昨天没有当面笑话我。我还注意到你办公室里面没有植物，所以我是想给你你的第一盆你的办公室里面有一盆植物啊。
Rachel: Kinda.
就算是吧。
Tag: Right. So I guess I shouldn't put good at noticing stuff on my resume.
对。看来我不应该在我简历上面写上“擅于观察”。
Rachel: Oh, thank you.
谢谢。
Tag: Anyway, I'm guessing you hired somebody.
总之，我猜你录取了别人。
Rachel: Well…
那个嘛
Tag: Gotcha. Thanks again for meeting with me.
懂了，谢谢你愿意和我见面。
Rachel: But I hired you!
但是我雇了你！
Tag: What?
什么？
Rachel: Yeah! You got the job! You're my new assistant!
对，你得到了这份工作。你是我的新助理！
Tag: I am? !
我？！
Rachel: Yeah!
对！
Tag: I can't believe it!
我简直不能相信！
Rachel: Me either. Um, all right, first thing I need you to do is go downstairs and find a women named Hilda and tell her to go home.
我也是。嗯，好啦，我要你做的第一件事就是到楼下去找到一个叫希尔达的女人，让她回家去。