1. Feed your dog bread soaked in dirty water to keep it small.
Long before the days of designer dogs, people had some unusual methods of creating a pocket-sized pet. One 15th-century manuscript suggests a breeder soak some bread in water they’d previously washed their hands with. Feeding that soggy bread to the puppies they had bred supposedly ensured a dog would not grow any bigger than a person’s hand.
2. No dogs in the dining hall.
According to 15th-century etiquette rules, a person should not make a dog “thi felow at the tabull round”. Translation: No dogs in the dining hall. And no feeding a pet from a person’s own dinner plate, either.
3. Be careful around cats in pursuit of a mouse.
A medieval person had to be careful if they were near a hunting cat. If they got scratched, bitten, or otherwise injured by a cat that was in pursuit of a mouse and wanted retribution, then they were out of luck. A cat is not liable if it happens to hurt someone who “had no business being there” while it was hunting a rodent.
4. Use your cat to determine the weather.
The Distaff Gospels advised people to use their cats as a meow-teorologists. According to an account documented in the manuscript, if a cat is sitting in the window licking its behind and rubbing its ear, that means a person should hold off on doing laundry because rain is coming.
5. Slip your husband some dog urine to ensure happy relations.
If a woman wanted her husband to learn to like her family and friends, according to The Distaff Gospels, she'd need enlist the help of some of dog urine. When said friends and family members visit with their dog, a woman should collect Fido’s pee, then secretly put it in her husband’s beer or soup. Once the man has drunk the urine-spiked beverage, he’ll become friendly with both the dog and the people who own it.