(单词翻译:单击)
If you're not thrilled about your dating prospects lately, it's easy to blame everyone and everything else: You're not meeting enough people. Or the people you're meeting are liars, losers, and flakes. Or perhaps you're disgusted with the state of modern dating. Or maybe it's the Internet's fault.
如果最近的约会前景惨淡,那你会很容易埋怨其他人、其他事:你见的人还不够多 。或者你正在约会的人是骗子、渣男或性格古怪之人 。又或者你厌倦了现代约会的状态 。又或者是互联网的错 。
The good news is that you might be playing a bigger role in your lack of success than you think. It's good news because that means you can adjust your approach and get better results.
好消息是,恋爱不成功可能都是因为你自己 。为什么这是好消息?因为这意味着你能调整自己的方法,获得更成功的恋情 。
1. YOU DON'T POST ATTRACTIVE PHOTOS
1. 你发的照片没有吸引力
You know that posting a collection of flattering photos is critical to piquing your match's interest. Make sure the pics are recent and regularly updated. Include snaps from your summer barbecues and winter ski trips. Show off the tomatoes in your garden.
你知道吗,发一组好看的照片对于吸引追求者的注意十分重要 。一定要确保近期拍摄照片,并不断更新 。包括夏季烧烤照和冬季滑雪照 。上传花园里的西红柿炫耀吧!
Ask a friend to take some or hire a professional photographer. You won't look desperate. You'll look like you give a damn and are taking dating seriously.
请朋友帮你拍些照片,或是雇个专业的摄影师 。那样的你就不会看起来饥不择食了 。这些照片让你看上去就是在认真谈恋爱 。
2. YOU TAKE TOO LONG TO RESPOND TO TEXTS OR EMAILS
2. 你回复短信或邮件的速度太慢了
You don't have to respond to every communication immediately. But if you take a day to return a text, your match is likely to put you in the "not serious" category. Worse, you lose important momentum. If texting feels like a chore, it's probably a sign you're not really interested in someone. Cut bait and move on.
你无需立刻回复所有的信息 。但如果回一条短信你需要花一天的时间,那你的对象可能会觉得你没有那么认真 。更糟糕的是,你会失去重要的动力 。如果你觉得发短信是件苦力活,那这可能表明你对某人并不是很感兴趣 。放弃他/她,继续寻找另一半吧 。
3. YOU DON'T SHOW ENOUGH INTEREST
3. 你没有表现出很大的兴趣
Be careful about taking "being hard to get" too far. It's a fact of dating that we're attracted to people who like us. So let your feelings flow. Tell your match what you like about them. Say if you had a great time and want to get together again. Schedule dates in advance. Show enthusiasm. Make someone excited about the prospect of getting to know you.
"欲擒故纵"这个套路别玩太深 。约会的事实是这样的:我们会被喜欢我们的人所吸引 。所以放纵自己的感情吧 。告诉约会对象你喜欢他的点 。告诉他你和他在一起很开心,还想继续约会 。提前订好约会计划 。表现出你的热情 。让某人更有兴趣了解你 。
4. YOU'RE NOT READY TO DATE
4. 你还没有做好约会的准备
Sometimes people need a push to get back on the dating scene after a breakup or divorce. But if you're checking your ex's social media feed in the bathroom during a date, you're not going to have the emotional bandwidth to welcome another person into your life.
有时分手或约会后,你需要别人推你一把才能重新开始约会 。但如果你在约会期间去卫生间查看前任的社交媒体状态,那你根本就没有做好准备迎接另一个人的到来 。
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