Reasons Why I Shouldn’t Have to Go Tonight: If I wanted to talk about it, I would. / It’s my body. / It’s a waste of time. / It’s a waste of money. / I know what I need to know. / It sounds pretty stupid to me. / It’s so stereotypical because obviously I know this happens to everyone. / Considering I took the time out of my morning to write you these extremely reasonable and great reasons not to make me go (and it took forever because I can’t type very well), and the fact that I really, really, really, really . . . really, really, really strongly don’t want to go, please don’t send us to this horrible torture.
我今晚没道理非去不可的理由如下：如果我想聊这些，我早就聊了；这是我的身体；这纯属浪费时间；这纯属浪费钱；我知道我需要知道什么；我觉得这听起来好蠢；这太陈词滥调了，我当然知道每个人都会遇到这个问题；鉴于我抽出了自己宝贵的晨间时光，给你写下这些极其正当和漂亮的理由，来说服您别让我去（而且我不怎么擅长打字，这实在花了我太长太长的时间），加上我真的真的真的真的……真的真的真的完全不想去，求您就别让咱俩去受这个罪了吧。

PLEASE DON’T MAKE ME GO. I DON’T WANT TO GO.
求、您、别、让、我、去。我、真、的、不、想、去。
The plea came from Leah Likin, a fifth grader. It was addressed to her mother, who had registered both of them for a two-part course on puberty called “For Girls Only.” The missive, which included additional objections, failed: Mother took daughter anyway. But Leah had plenty of company, peers who shared her resistance, their arms crossed, their eyes downcast. Last year, the course, which is split into sessions for preteen boys and girls and held mostly in and around Seattle, and also in the Bay Area, pulled in 14,000 attendees. They heard about it from their pediatricians, or through word of mouth.
这是五年级学生利娅·利金(Leah Likin)所发出的恳求。恳求的对象是她的母亲——她刚刚为自己和女儿申请了一门介绍青春期的课程，共分上下两堂，名为“女孩专修”。这篇抗议信中还含有更多的反对言辞，可惜却未能如愿——母亲最后还是把女儿带去了。但是利娅有许多同伴，那些和她一样抗拒的同龄人，双臂抱胸，低垂着眼帘。这门课程又分为两个专题，分别针对青春期前的男孩和女孩，主要在美国西雅图及其周边地区以及旧金山湾区进行，在去年先后吸引了1.4万名参与者。他们有的是从儿科医生那里得到的消息，有的则是从其他参与者那里听说的。
The creator of the course, Julie Metzger, has been trying for nearly three decades to turn what’s so often at best a blush-inducing experience — the “facts of life” talk — into a candid dialogue between parents and children. In the mid-1980s, she was a graduate student at the University of Washington School of Nursing when she reviewed survey data on how women had learned about menarche, or the onset of menstruation, for her master’s thesis. Most reported getting information from gym class or their mothers. “You can picture those conversations lasting from 10 seconds to 10 hours,” Metzger says. “And I thought, Wouldn’t it be interesting if you actually had a class where you sit with your parents and hear these things from someone? What if that class were fun and funny and interactive?”
这门课程的创始人朱莉·梅泽尔(Julie Metzger)，近三十年来一直在努力将这种在最好的情况下也容易令人脸红的活动——有关“人生真相”的谈话——转化为父母与子女之间的坦诚对话。20世纪80年代中期时，她还是一名华盛顿大学护理学院(University of Washington School of Nursing)的研究生，正在浏览有关女性了解初潮（即首次月经）途径的调查数据，用来为自己的硕士论文做准备。大部分女性都表示，她们是从体育课或自己的母亲那里了解到有关知识的。“你可以想象这些短至10秒钟、长则10小时的谈话都是什么样子，”梅泽尔说。“于是我想，要是有一种课程，能让你和父母坐在一起，听别人介绍这方面的事情，不是很有趣吗？要是这堂课程还好玩、搞笑又充满互动呢？”
Metzger, who is 56 and vigorous, with flushed cheeks and blue eyes, says she has always been comfortable talking about sexuality; her father was a urologist, her mother a nurse. “Hand me a microphone,” she says. “I get so into this topic that I can make myself cry in front of the class, and it’s real.”
梅泽尔今年56岁，精力充沛，脸色红润，有一双蓝眼睛。她说她一直都能很自在地讨论性方面的话题；她的父亲是泌尿科医师，母亲是护士。“给我一支话筒，”她说，“我会全身心地投入这个话题，甚至能在全班面前哭出来，而且是真哭。”
Her class on puberty debuted in 1988 at Allegheny General Hospital in Pittsburgh, where she was the nurse manager of the pediatrics unit. The class was so crowded, she says, that “we had to run it twice.” That reception convinced her that there was an appetite for a forthright talk about growing up. Soon after she moved back West in 1990 — she was raised in Portland, Ore. — Metzger began offering the course at Seattle Children’s Hospital.
她开设的青春期课程，于1988年在匹兹堡的阿勒格尼医院(Allegheny General Hospital)首度问世，那时她正是这间医院的儿科护士长。她说，当时来参加的人多到不行，以致于“我们只好办了两次”。课程如此大受欢迎，让她确信，大众之间确实存在着强烈的需求，想要直率地聊聊成长的话题。她在1990年搬回美国西部（她是在奥勒冈州的波特兰市长大的）后不久，便开始在西雅图儿童医院(Seattle Children’s Hospital)开设同类课程。
“Parents walk in feeling almost victimized by preteens and puberty, and my job is to utterly transform their ability to connect,” she says. “That sounds so arrogant, but I know when I walk in that room, that is my work.”
“父母们带着深受青春期前和青春期子女之苦的心情走进来，而我的工作就是彻底转变他们的能力，让他们能够与子女建立亲密关系，”她说。“这听起来很是妄自尊大，但是我只要走进那个房间，就知道该怎么做，这就是我的工作。”
On a recent winter evening, Metzger stood at the door to the hospital auditorium and greeted every mother-daughter pair with animation, as if she’d known them for years, and told each girl to take an index card and a ballpoint pen with the name of her company, Great Conversations, on it. The first hour of each class amounts to an informative stand-up routine — Metzger sticks a sanitary pad on her shoulder to show that it won’t slip around — but the second hour is devoted to answering the girls’ questions. Metzger believes that having kids pose questions fosters intimacy and allows parents to hear for themselves what their children’s concerns are. In the first class, when the focus is on the physical changes caused by puberty, Metzger tends to be asked: Why do we have pubic hair? What does it feel like to have a growth spurt? How do I know when I’m getting my period?
不久前的一个冬日晚上，梅泽尔站在医院的大礼堂门口，热情地迎接着一对又一对母女，仿佛早已与她们熟识。她让每个姑娘都去拿一张索引卡和一支印着她公司名字“伟大谈话”(Great Conversations)的圆珠笔。每堂课的头一个小时，是一场例行的教育性独角戏：梅泽尔会把一片卫生巾贴在肩膀上，让大家看到它并不会左右滑动。但是第二个小时则全部留给姑娘们来问问题。梅泽尔认为，让孩子们来提问可以培养亲昵感，也能让这些家长们亲耳听听自己的孩子都关心些什么。在第一堂课中，当大家的关注点都放在青春期所带来的生理变化时，梅泽尔常常会被问到：为什么我们要长阴毛？经历身体的迅速发育是什么感觉？我要怎么知道自己何时会来月经？
As the girls scribbled on their index cards, some used their elbows to block an inquisitive mother’s gaze. (Bolder girls will sometimes go so far as to write things like “This is from Susan in the third row, in the red shirt.”) After intermission, during which Metzger collected the cards into a disorderly pile, she put on a pair of thick red reading glasses and began.
姑娘们在索引卡上写字时，有的会用自己的手肘挡住母亲好奇的视线。（大胆一些的姑娘有时则敢于写下这样的文字：“我是第三排的苏珊，穿着红色的衬衫。”）梅泽尔在课间休息时收回了所有的卡片，随意地叠成一摞，然后戴上一副红色厚底的阅读镜，就此开始。
“Can boys stick a tampon in their penis?” she read. “Absolutely not. They can try, but I wouldn’t recommend it.” She flung the card to the floor.
“男生能用卫生棉条插在阴茎里吗？”她念道，“绝对不行。他们是可以试试看，但我不建议他们这么做。”她将这张卡片丢到了地上。
“Do you always get a baby from having sex?” she read. “My husband and I have been married 28 years. We may have had sex over 1,000 times. I am happy to report we do not have 1,000 children. There are ways to show and share your love without having a baby.” Another card flew out of her hand.
“只要发生性行为就一定会有小孩吗？”她念道，“我和我丈夫结婚28年了。我们大概已经发生了1,000多次性行为。我很乐意告诉大家，我们并没有因此就生出了1,000个小孩。有办法让你不用怀上宝宝，也能表达和分享你的爱意。”又一张卡片从她的手中丢了出去。
“Does having sex hurt?” she read. “When people bring their bodies together, their ear might go into your elbow, but because you have chosen someone you love and trust, you say, ‘Please get your elbow out of my ear.’ And they would say, ‘Of course.’ Do I look like someone who would choose something 1,000 times if it was painful? No, I do not.”
“发生性关系的时候会疼吗？”她念道，“当两个人的身体重合在一起时，一方的耳朵可能会撞到另一方的手肘，但因为你选的是一个你爱和信任的人，你会说：‘请把你的手肘从我的耳朵上拿开。’然后他们就会说：‘没问题。’我看起来像是那种明明觉得很疼，却还会选择去做1000次的人吗？不，我才不会。”
The second class of every course delves into the opposite sex’s puberty, along with reproduction and decision making. Metzger can count on at least one girl asking how you know if you want to have sex with someone. At the class I attended, she got the expected question, then walked briskly to one side of the auditorium and said: “Let’s say it’s 8:12 on a Tuesday night, and you walk by a complete stranger. What would you do?”
第二堂课则深入探讨另一性别的青春期，同时讲解生殖和如何做决定。梅泽尔很有把握，至少会有一个姑娘问到，你怎么知道你想不想跟一个人发生性关系。在我参加的那堂课上，果然有人问了这个问题，于是她敏捷地走到了礼堂的一头，说：“假设现在是周二晚上8点12分，你经过一个完全陌生的人。你会怎么做？”
“Nothing,” the girls chirped.
“什么也不做。”姑娘们高声答道。
“What if it’s 8:12, and you run into Ralph from Jamba Juice, and your family gets a Jamba Juice every Saturday. What would you do?”
“那如果还是晚上8点12分，你偶然遇到了坚宝果汁(Jamba Juice)店里的拉尔夫(Ralph)，而你们全家每周六都会去买一杯坚宝果汁。你又会怎么做？”
“Say hi,” someone yelled. With each question, Metzger moved a few steps toward the other side of the room. “What if it’s your friend whom you haven’t seen since 2:30? What’s your feeling?”
“向他问好，”有人大声答道。每问一个问题，梅泽尔就会朝着房间的另一头走上几步。“如果那是你在下午2点半之后就再也没见着的朋友呢？你会有什么感觉？”
“Happy!”
“开心！”
“What are the consequences? Sleepover! Now what if you spot your grandmother? You give her a big hug, and what’s the consequence? She takes you shopping. But what if I go over to a stranger and shake her hand? What if I give Ralph a huge hug like you did your grandmother?”
“结果会怎么样呢？到朋友家过夜！那如果你看到的是你的祖母呢？你深深地拥抱了她，结果又会怎么样呢？她会带你去购物。但如果我走向一个陌生人，和她握了握手，又会如何？如果我像你拥抱祖母那样抱了抱拉尔夫呢？”
The girls snickered. By now, Metzger had reached the other side of the room, her movement reinforcing the notion that different relationships call for different behaviors. “Ohh,” Metzger said with exaggeration. “You’re saying my actions don’t reflect my feelings for these people? If you’re telling me that, then if two people brought their bodies so close that a penis actually went inside a vagina, that’s enormous. If it’s true what you’re telling me, that this seems to be one of the biggest human-being actions, I have to put it together with some of the biggest human-being qualities — trust, respect, love, commitment. That’s why some people say this action belongs only to grown-ups, and that’s why some people say this action belongs only in marriage.”
姑娘们咯咯地窃笑了起来。此时，梅泽尔已经走到了房间的另一头，她用动作来加强说明，不同的关系会引发不同的行为。“噢！”梅泽尔夸张地说道，“你说我的行为没有表现出我对这些人的感觉？如果你这么跟我说，那么要是有两个人的身体能够靠近到足以让男生的阴茎插入女生的阴道的话，这可是件了不得的大事。如果真的如你所说，这看上去的确是人类最了不得的行为之一，那我也得把它与人类最伟大的品质结合起来——信任、尊重、爱、承诺。所以才有人说这件事只有成年人才能做，还有人说这件事只有在结婚后才能做。”
Boys and girls experience puberty differently. For girls, puberty typically begins at 10 or 11 and lasts five to six years, punctuated by distinct events — breast development and the onset of menstruation. Puberty for boys starts later, around 11 or 12, and lasts longer. Many girls are done with puberty — over, by definition, when growth stops — in their sophomore year of high school. Boys, on the other hand, may still be growing in college, and some secondary sex characteristics, like beard growth, may not show up until they are in their 20s.
男孩与女孩所经历的青春期是不一样的。就女孩而言，青春期通常是在10岁或11岁时开始，然后持续五到六年的时间，中间夹杂着几项特别的表现——胸部发育和月经初潮。男孩的青春期则开始得晚一些，大约会是在11岁或12岁的时候，持续的时间也会更久。许多女孩在高一时就已结束了青春期——根据定义，也就是身体发育停止的时候。而男孩则可能直到进了大学后都还在发育，而部分第二性征，例如胡须生长，可能要到他们20多岁的时候才会出现。
The first night of the boys’ course includes a musical interlude, “The Penis Opera,” in which the falsetto of the boys is set off by the bass of their fathers. Preteen boys think saying “penis” is funny, and my son, then 11, guffawed even as he looked around to gauge others’ reactions — perhaps because no one anywhere else ever shouts “penis” at the top of his lungs.
在男孩专修课的第一晚，还包含一段音乐间奏——《阴茎歌剧》(The Penis Opera)，内有数名男孩的假声合唱，并由他们父亲的低音来为他们和声。青春期前的男孩总觉得讲出“阴茎”这个词是件很滑稽的事，我儿子（当时11岁）在四下环顾观察他人的反应时，便哄笑了起来——这或许是因为在其他任何地方都不会有谁会用最高的音量高唱“阴茎”吧。
“Maybe you’ve been using the word ‘willy’ or ‘stick’ or ‘twig,’ ” the instructor, Greg Smallidge, a sexuality educator who teaches many of the boys’ classes, told the audience. “We were brought up for generations with people thinking it wasn’t O.K. to name these body parts. That’s why we need ‘The Penis Opera.’ We need to talk about sexuality.”
“也许你一直以来用的都是‘小鸡鸡’、‘老二’、‘小弟弟’这样的说法，”讲师格雷格·斯茅利智(Greg Smallidge)对观众说，他是一名性教育工作者，负责教授男孩专修课中的很多内容，“抚养我们长大的那代人，都认为直接叫出这些身体部位的名称是不合适的。所以我们才需要这首《阴茎歌剧》。我们需要讨论性器官。”
Yet what that conversation should include is far from settled. In 1913, Chicago’s became the first major school system in the United States to include sexuality as a subject. More than 100 years later, there is still no standardized curriculum. Detailed guidelines, released in 2012 as a resource for school districts, recommend minimum standards for comprehensive K-12 sex ed, but compliance is voluntary. “No state or school district I’m aware of has adopted them in full,” says Danene Sorace, who coordinated the development of the guidelines for Future of Sex Education, a partnership of three nonprofits. As a result, sex ed varies widely in schools. Some places, like New Jersey and Chicago, deliver age-specific lessons starting in kindergarten and continuing all the way through Grade 12. Other places, like Clark County, Nev., home to Las Vegas and the nation’s fifth-largest school district, teach abstinence-based curriculums. Many states have no policies; more than half receive a share of the $50 million that the federal government hands out each year to promote abstinence through community programs.
但是这番对话所应包含的内容还远远没有固定下来。1913年，芝加哥成为美国第一处将性教育纳入科目的主流学校体系。100多年过去了，这门课程依然没有一套标准化的教学大纲。详细的教参，还是在2012年作为学区资料发放的，这套教参为K-12的全方位性教育给出了最低程度的建议，但是是否遵从全凭学校自愿。“就我所知，目前尚无哪个州或学区全面采用了这套教参，”负责为一个由三家非营利机构合作的项目“性教育之未来”(Future of Sex Education)协调方针制订的达南·索拉切(Danene Sorace)说。结果便导致不同学校的性教育普遍存在着巨大差异。有些地方，例如新泽西和芝加哥，就开设了针对不同年龄的性教育课程，从幼儿园开始，一直持续到12年级。其他地方，例如内华达州的克拉克郡，也就是拉斯维加斯的所在地和全美第五大学区，采用的则是基于禁欲主义的性教育大纲。许多州都没有相应的政策；有半数以上的州共同分享联邦政府每年下发的5千万美元的资金，通过社区计划宣扬禁欲。
Great Conversations represents a distinct shift from the usual approach to sex education. Metzger believes that adolescence and puberty should be the purview of children and their parents, not solely that of children and their teachers. “The idea that we are talking to two generations at the same time is at the core of this,” she says.
“伟大谈话”代表着一次偏离传统性教育路线的独特转变。梅泽尔认为，青春期和发育期应该纳入亲子交流的范畴，而非仅仅局限于师生交流。“我们同时与亲子两代对话的想法，就是这一观念的核心所在，”她说道。
In a 2012 survey by the National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy, 87 percent of teenagers said “open, honest” conversations with their parents could help them put off sex and avoid pregnancy. Students who take part in comprehensive sex-ed programs delay having sex for the first time, have less sex and fewer partners and rely more on contraception than their peers. (Conversely, abstinence-only instruction has not succeeded in extending virginity.) “As parents of young children, we are really engaged,” Sorace says. “But sexuality is such a taboo topic in our culture that when it comes to adolescence, we freeze.”
全国防止少女意外怀孕运动(National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy) 于2012年进行的一项调研显示，87%的青少年都表示，与父母“坦率、诚恳”的对话能帮助他们推迟性行为，避免怀孕。参与了综合性教育计划的学生发生首次性行为的时间均有所推后，发生性行为的次数和伴侣的人数也会更少，并且比他们的同龄人更加注重避孕措施。（相反，单纯的禁欲要求从未成功延长过青少年保持童贞的时间。）“作为年轻子女的父母，我们的事情真的很多，”索拉切说，“但是性在我们的文化中是一个如此忌讳的话题，乃至于只要一谈到青春期的话题，我们就失语了。”
That’s probably why information about sex, whether from parents or schools, is so often delivered in serious, white-coat fashion, its clinical messages heavy with the fear of consequences. To those who advocate abstinence until marriage, attitudes like Metzger’s foster permissiveness. But limiting the conversation to abstinence, Metzger says, “isn’t a full-enough understanding of sexuality.” Because they are voluntary, Great Conversations courses are free to be more frank than school-based sex ed; they can sidestep detractors who think kids shouldn’t be taught about masturbation, for example. “We are not saying you have to learn this,” Metzger says. “People get to choose to come to us.”
这或许就是为何无论父母还是学校，通常都会从一种严肃的医学角度来传达性的相关信息，这些临床信息中充斥着对性行为后果的畏惧。在那些提倡婚前禁欲的人看来，梅泽尔这样的态度根本是在鼓励性开放。但是将这方面的谈话内容仅仅局限在禁欲的话题内，“对性的理解并不全面”，梅泽尔如是说。“伟大谈话”的课程由于俱为自愿参与，因而可以比学校主导的性教育更放得开；他们能够避开那些抱持着种种反对意见的批评者，比如认为不应教导孩子有关自慰的知识。“我们并没有强迫大家必须了解这些，”梅泽尔说，“大家都是自己选择加入我们的。”
Metzger’s greatest challenge might be figuring out how to speak in one voice to families from radically different backgrounds and viewpoints. For the most part, the course, which costs $70, attracts a well-educated, mostly homogeneous demographic. But over the years, Metzger and her business partner, Robert Lehman, who also runs the boys’ curriculum, have tried to appeal to lower-income parents. They found success in Palo Alto, where the class is regularly taught in Spanish. But in Seattle, Metzger says, she has struggled to find a community partner. A deal with the Y.M.C.A. fell through because of the need to simultaneously translate instructors’ rapid-fire delivery into several languages.
梅泽尔的最大挑战，或许仍在于要如何找出一种特定的方式，与背景及观念存在着巨大差异的众多家庭同时交流。这门收费70美元的课程，吸引到的多是一批受过良好教育、质素基本相当的人群。不过这几年来，梅泽尔和她的事业伙伴，同样负责管理男孩专修课的罗伯特·雷曼(Robert Lehman)，也在尝试引发低收入父母的兴趣。他们在帕洛阿尔托市获得了成功，那里的课程会定期以西班牙语讲授。但是在西雅图，据梅泽尔说，她却一直在苦苦寻找合适的社区合作方。他们原本曾与基督教青年会(Y.M.C.A.)定下合作，可惜最后却化为了泡影，因为他们需要将讲师语速极快的讲授内容同步翻译成数种语言。
Earlier this month, Metzger got an email from a middle-school teacher she knows: Would Great Conversations want to teach a group of disadvantaged students — some homeless, others victims of abuse? Two of her instructors are interested, and Metzger is imagining what shape such a class would take. “It wouldn’t be the same song and dance,” she says.
本月早些时候，梅泽尔收到她认识的一位中学老师发来的电子邮件：有批弱势学生，有的是无家可归的孤儿，有的是虐待行为的受害者，伟大谈话愿意为他们讲课吗？她的公司有两名讲师对此很感兴趣，梅泽尔正在构想这样的一堂课应该采取何种形式。“不能是同样的一套东西。”
Metzger’s course might need to evolve in other ways. Lindsey Doe, a clinical sexologist whose YouTube channel, Sexplanations, tackles subjects ranging from kissing to anal sex, attended Great Conversations with her daughter. She was disappointed that the focus was limited to either boys or girls. Where would a transgender or an intersex child fit in? “I loved the curriculum so much that I wanted it to be perfect, and that was the piece that would have completed my experience,” Doe says.
梅泽尔的课程或许还需发展出其他形式。临床性学家林德赛·朵尔(Lindsey Doe)在YouTube上开设了一个个人频道“性释”(Sexplanations)，涉及的话题从接吻到肛交，无所不包。她也和女儿一起参加了伟大谈话的课程。让她失望的是，课程的焦点仅囿于男孩或女孩的话题。那些跨性别或双性的孩子又该何去何从？“我非常热爱这门课程，所以我真心想让它变得尽善尽美，而这就是本可以让我的课程体验尽善尽美的那部分，”朵尔说。
Metzger is open to the idea. Finding the right words to include adoptive families was tricky when she started teaching the course; now, it’s how to deal with sexual identity. “There was a titanic shift five years ago when the audience began demanding a more open conversation around homosexuality and transgender experiences,” she says. “We’re always trying to balance the readiness of the room, and we may be running a bit behind.”
梅泽尔对于这个主意抱持着开放的态度。在她刚开始教授这门课程时，要找到得当的表述将领养家庭也囊括在内，是一件很需要技巧的事；而今，需要她费心思的，则是如何解决性别认同的问题。“我们的课程在五年前曾经有过一次大范围的调整，当时我们的听众纷纷开始要求围绕着同性恋和跨性别者，谈论一些更为开放的话题，”她说，“我们一直都在努力平衡我们课程的适用面，可能我们在进度上有点落后了。”
In November, my 10-year-old, Shira, and I attended For Girls Only. There was an undercurrent of nervous tension as we waited for the class to start. Mothers looked stressed, daughters embarrassed. Shira hadn’t wanted to come. “I don’t want to learn about puberty,” she pouted. “I don’t even like the word.” But as the girls looked around, some of them spying friends, they seemed emboldened: Maybe theirs weren’t the only parents to drag them to a talk about penises and vaginas.
11月份时，我又和我10岁的女儿席拉(Shira)一同参加了“女孩专修”课程。在我们等候课程开始的时候，现场充满张力的紧张空气中，似有一股暗流涌动。在场的母亲们看起来都很有压力，女儿们则一脸窘迫。席拉本来也不想来。“我不想学什么青春期的东西，”她撅了撅嘴，“这个词就让我不喜欢。”但是当姑娘们四下张望的时候，有的却暗暗找起了朋友，也有的似乎壮起了胆子：也许并不是只有自己的父母会硬拖着自己的孩子来听什么阴茎和阴道的事情。
And then Metzger won them over. At one point, she handed out a diagram of a woman’s reproductive organs and challenged the girls to go home, stand naked in front of a mirror and superimpose the image over their abdomens to get a sense of where things were in their bodies. When Shira’s drawing fell to the floor, she gave me an impish grin and asked, “Mom, could you pick up my uterus?”
然后梅泽尔就征服了她们的心。中间有一个时候，她给大家发了一份女性生殖器官的图示，要姑娘们在回家后，赤裸着身体站在镜子前，将这张图摆在自己的肚子上，感受一下这些器官都在自己体内的什么位置。当席拉的图画掉到了地上时，她冲着我顽皮地咧嘴笑了几声，问道：“妈妈，你能把我的子宫捡起来吗？”
Later still, she leaned forward, intrigued, when the talk turned to how to insert a tampon; I’d never explained that to her. “Some people worry they’ll put it in too far,” Metzger was saying. “What if you’re in social studies and it comes out your ear?” She pantomimed stumbling across the room and pulling a tampon out of her ear; lots of laughter followed her. “That — ” Metzger paused dramatically — “cannot happen.”
少顷，当话题进行到要如何放入一根卫生棉条的时候，她向前靠了靠，露出了一脸的好奇——我从没跟她解释过这个问题。“有些姑娘担心自己会放得太深，”梅泽尔说道，“万一自己正在参与义工活动，而棉条突然从耳朵里跑了出来，那可怎么办？”她假装磕磕绊绊地走过房间，然后从耳朵中掏出了一根棉条；这段表演引发了一阵哄堂大笑。“这种事……”梅泽尔戏剧性地停顿了一下，“是不会发生的。”
A month later, on a drizzly December Monday, I met with Leah Likin, now 14. She has long, curly hair that fades from brown to blond, and she twirled one lock around and around as she talked. I asked her why she was dead-set against going to Metzger’s class three years earlier. She struggled to explain herself. At last she said, with a blush that highlighted her freckles: “I guess I didn’t want to grow up. I was happy with the way things were. I am realizing now that the class was superhelpful. Julie sends you away with this greater message that we are all in this together, that you’re fine,” she said, referring to Metzger. “That’s what my mom always says: You are just right the way you are.”
一个月后，就在12月份一个细雨迷蒙的星期一，我遇到了现年14岁的利娅·利金。她留着一头长长的卷发，从头顶的褐色渐变至发尾的淡金色，一边说着话，一边一圈又一圈地转动着手中的一把锁头。我问她三年前为何打定了主意拒不参加梅泽尔的课程。她费力地解释了一番。在最后，她带着泛红的脸蛋说（这让她脸上的雀斑更加惹眼了几分）：“我想那时的我大概是不想长大吧。我满足于当时的一切。我现在就开始意识到，那次的课程对我的帮助太大了。朱莉向我们传达了一个更重要的信息，那就是我们全在一起经历这个阶段，而你没有什么问题，”她说，在话中提到了梅泽尔，“这也是我妈妈一直在说的话：你现在这样就挺好的。”