(单词翻译:单击)
That night, I took the bed and Farid lay on the floor, wrapped himself with an extra blanket for which the hotel owner charged me an additional fee. No light came into the room except for the moonbeams streaming through the broken window. Farid said the owner had told him that Kabul had been without electricity for two days now and his generator needed fixing. We talked for a while. He told me about growing up in Mazar-i-Sharif, in Jalalabad. He told me about a time shortly after he and his father joined the jihad and fought the Shorawi in the Panjsher Valley. They were stranded without food and ate locust to survive. He told me of the day helicopter gunfire killed his father, of the day the land mine took his two daughters. He asked me about America. I told him that in America you could step into a grocery store and buy any of fifteen or twenty different types of cereal. The lamb was always fresh and the milk cold, the fruit plentiful and the water clear. Every home had a TV, and every TV a remote, and you could get a satellite dish if you wanted. Receive over five hundred channels.
“Five hundred?” Farid exclaimed.
“Five hundred.”
We fell silent for a while. Just when I thought he had fallen asleep, Farid chuckled. “Agha, did you hear what Mullah Nasrud din did when his daughter came home and complained that her husband had beaten her?” I could feel him smiling in the dark and a smile of my own formed on my face. There wasn’t an Afghan in the world who didn’t know at least a few jokes about the bumbling mullah.
“What?”
“He beat her too, then sent her back to tell the husband that Mullah was no fool: If the bastard was going to beat his daughter, then Mullah would beat his wife in return.”
I laughed. Partly at the joke, partly at how Afghan humor never changed. Wars were waged, the Internet was invented, and a robot had rolled on the surface of Mars, and in Afghanistan we were still telling Mullah Nasruddin jokes. “Did you hear about the time Mullah had placed a heavy bag on his shoulders and was riding his donkey?” I said.
“No.”
那天晚上,我睡床,法里德睡地板,我额外付了钱,让老板取来一条毛毯,给法里德裹上。除了月色从破窗倾泻进来,再无其他光线。法里德说老板告诉过他,喀布尔停电两天了,而他的发电机需要修理。我们谈了一会。他告诉我他在马扎里沙里夫长大的故事,在贾拉拉巴特的故事。他告诉我说,在他和他爸爸加入圣战者组织,在潘杰希尔峡谷抗击俄国佬之后不久,他们粮草告罄,只好吃蝗虫充饥。他跟我说起那天直升机的炮火打死了他父亲,说起那天地雷索走他两个女儿的命。他问我美国的情况。我告诉他,在美国,你可以走进杂货店,随意选购十五或者二十种不同的麦片。羔羊肉永远是新鲜的,牛奶永远是冰冻的,有大量的水果,自来水很干净。每个家庭都有电视,每个电视都有遥控器,如果你想要的话,可以安装卫星接收器,能看到超过五百个电视台。
“五百个?”法里德惊叹。
“五百个。”
我们沉默了一会。我刚以为他睡着,法里德笑起来。“老爷,你听过纳斯鲁丁毛拉的故事吗?他女儿回家,抱怨丈夫打了他,你知道纳斯鲁丁怎么做吗?”我能感到他在黑暗中脸带微笑,而我脸上也泛起笑容。关于那个装腔作势的毛拉有很多笑话,世界各地的每个阿富汗人多多少少知道一些。
“他怎么说?”
“他也揍了她,然后让她回家告诉她丈夫,说毛拉可不是蠢货:如果哪个混蛋胆敢揍他的女儿,毛拉会揍他的妻子以示报复。”
我大笑。部分是因为这个笑话,部分是由于阿富汗人的幽默从不改变。战争发动了,因特网发明了,机器人在火星的表面上行走。而在阿富汗,我们仍说着纳斯鲁丁毛拉的笑话。“你听说过这个故事吗?有一次毛拉骑着他的驴子,肩膀上扛着一个重重的袋子。”我说。
“没有。”