I have been in my current position (for which I was headhunted) for just over three months and have had excellent feedback. But I am now 12 weeks pregnant. I want to raise my profile and gain managerial support without pregnancy clouding the issue. My plan, therefore, is to wait a couple of months before telling colleagues. Is this realistic? Should I refrain from asking for professional investment (conferences, committee memberships) now if I know I will be asking for maternity leave later?

我现在这份工作（猎头找到了我）才做了三个月，获得了很高的评价，但现在我已怀孕12周了。我希望提升自己的形象，获得管理层的支持，而不被怀孕拖后腿。因此，我的计划是先等几个月再告知同事。这种想法是否现实？既然我知道自己过不了多久就会提出休产假的要求，现在我是否不应要求他们对我进行职业方面的投资（参加会议、委员会的成员资格等）？

Lawyer, female, 31

律师，女性，31岁

Lucy’s advice

露西的建议

From the wording of your question I get the impression you feel guilty about being pregnant. Stop it at once. You won’t be “asking” for maternity leave. You will be getting it because it is your right. As Sheryl Sandberg has told the world: the women who don’t dare move jobs just because they might want to start a family soon are those whose careers tend to get bogged down forever.

从你的遣词造句中我得到的印象是，你对怀孕一事心怀愧疚。立刻停止这种想法。你不用“要求”休产假。你将获得产假，因为这是你的权利。正如谢里尔?桑德伯格(Sheryl Sandberg)告诉全世界的那样：有些女人仅仅因为可能希望在不久之后组建一个家庭而不敢换工作，这样的女人通常在事业上会永远停滞不前。

Yet I think your plan to say nothing for the next couple of months is a good one. Even if people notice your bulging waistline, they are most unlikely to risk saying anything lest the bulge turns out to be the result of too many visits to the vending machine.

但我认为你打算在未来几个月中保持沉默是个不错的主意。即使有人注意到了你不断膨胀的腰线，他们也不太可能冒险说些什么，唯恐你隆起的腹部是过于频繁地造访自动售货机的结果。

The law in the UK says you do not have to tell your employer until the 25th week. The law also says that you cannot be discriminated against because you are pregnant. Yet even though your managers will almost certainly claim to be hugely in favour of pregnant women, it is silly to pretend that this joyous thing in your life will be anything other than a nuisance to them.

根据英国法律，你在怀孕25周以前无需告诉雇主。法律还规定，雇主不能因你有孕在身而歧视你。但即使你的经理几乎一定会宣称将竭力关照怀孕妇女，如果你自以为是地认为，这件你生活中的喜事绝不会让他们觉得麻烦，就太愚蠢了。

So it will not hurt to spend the next few weeks reinforcing their idea that you are a thoroughly good thing. The first six months with a company are generally when the sheep get sorted from the goats. That division, once made, tends to stick. With any luck, by the time you declare yourself pregnant, their only concern will be that you return to work afterwards, as keen as ever.

因此，用未来几周时间加强他们对你完全是个人才的印象没有坏处。公司通常会在员工入职后的头6个月内区分出新人们的能力高下。而这种划分一旦做出，通常就不会改变。如果幸运的话，当你宣布自己怀孕的时候，他们唯一担心并且极其希望了解的问题将是你是否会在孩子降生以后重返工作岗位。

As for those committees and the conferences, if I were you I would skip them – but that is because I tend to avoid them even when not pregnant. Yet as you seem to like that sort of thing, I recommend you go for it. Far from feeling short-changed, your managers will surely see your ambition as further evidence of your long-term value.

至于那些委员会和会议，如果我是你，我不会参加，不过这是因为我即使在没有怀孕的情况下也倾向于避开它们。但鉴于你似乎喜欢这类事情，我建议你大胆提出要求。你的经理不但不会感到吃亏，还会把你的进取心看做证明你长期价值的进一步证据。

Some readers urge you to have a heart-to-heart with human resources to explain that the timing of conception is unfortunate: that you weren’t trying to trick anyone. This is shockingly bad advice. It is none?of your employer’s business whether you planned to get pregnant, or whether you did a Cherie Blair – who (bizarrely) revealed her last child was conceived when she forgot to pack her diaphragm on a trip to Balmoral.

一些读者建议你与人力资源部做一次开诚布公的谈话，解释一下怀孕的时点很不恰当：以此表明你并不是有意戏弄大家。这是一个糟糕透顶的建议。你的雇主根本不关心你是否计划怀孕，还是做了和切尔西?布莱尔(Cherie Blair)一样的事——她奇怪地透露，自己的最后一个孩子是因为在一趟去巴尔莫勒尔(Balmoral)的旅行中忘记带避孕用具而怀上的。

Your advice

读者的建议

Unplanned plan

计划外的计划

I also got pregnant about a week after I started a new job. I stretched the truth a little and said that I had been trying for a long time, so was not using?contraception and it happened. I did not want my HR manager to think I had done it on purpose and I did not want them to think I had been irresponsible and it was unplanned!

我也是在开始一项新工作大约一周以后怀孕的。我稍微夸大了一点事实，称自己为了怀孕已经尝试了很长时间，因此没有采取避孕措施并意外怀孕。我不希望人力资源经理认为我是故意这么做的，我也不希望他们认为我是一个不负责任的人，因为这本不在我的计划之内。

I did not tell until the last day legally required – i.e. at 25 weeks. I decided to take shorter maternity leave than I might have done otherwise. And, yes, I continued with conferences and so on. I ended up working until 39 weeks and I had all my antenatal care done by my GP (rather than at hospital) which meant I could schedule it for 8am or 6.30pm.

我直到法律规定的最后期限才告诉雇主我怀孕了——也即是第25周。我决定缩短产假。而且我还继续参加行业会议等活动。最终我一直工作到怀孕第39周，我所有的产前护理都是由我的全科医生（而不是去医院）完成的，这意味着我可以将护理时间安排在上午8点或下午6点半。

Accountant, female

会计，女性

Law behind you

法律为你撑腰

Congratulations. You have employment law behind you to ensure you are treated properly and given all that is required.

恭喜你，你有劳动法在你身后撑腰，确保你得到恰当对待，并获得应得的一切福利。

Your integrity, however, is questionable – new job when trying for baby? Headhunted = big recruitment fee. New job = more money. Employer sees only cost and now a delayed benefit. When you tell your employer you had better have a plan on how you are going to repay them for the support they are obliged to give you.

不过你的诚信则存在问题——在准备怀孕的时候接受一份新工作是否合适？公司通过猎头招聘要花掉一大笔招聘费。新工作则意味着更高的薪水。你的雇主只看到了付出的成本，而且现在他们的收益还被延迟。当你要告诉雇主你怀孕的时候，你最好就如何回报他们必须给予你的支持准备好一套方案。

Male, anon

男性，匿名

Depends on size

取决于你公司的规模

An issue to consider is the size of the business. I ran a small firm with around five employees and employed a lady who turned out to have been pregnant at the interview.

一个值得考虑的问题是你公司的规模。我经营一家只有五六名员工的小公司，并聘用了一位直到面试时才被发现已经怀孕的女士。

For me it was devastating and extremely costly as I had to cover a salary with no corresponding income. If you work for a big employer just enjoy the pregnancy and the wonder that goes with it.

对我来说，这是一件极其严重并且成本极高的事，因为我必须在不产生相应收益的情况下支付一份薪水。不过如果你是为一家大公司工作，享受怀孕以及由此带来的奇妙变化就行了。

Manager, male

经理，男性

Go for it

勇敢去冲

Don’t hold back. Your firm needs you, whether you are pregnant or not. Plus they can handle it and should support you.

不要退缩。你的公司需要你，不管你有没有怀孕。此外他们能够处理好此事，并且应当支持你。

Anon, male

匿名，男性

Invest in career

为你的职业生涯投资

By all means invest in your career and ask for all that you are entitled to – it shows that you are motivated and that you are likely to return to your job after your maternity leave with your motivation and commitment intact.

用各种方法为你的职业生涯投资，并就你有权得到的所有福利提出要求——这能显示出你充满干劲，并表明你有很大可能在产假结束后怀着同样的进取心和责任心重返工作岗位。

Anon, female

匿名，女性