(单词翻译:单击)
Twilight
Awkward, lip-biting teenager Bella Swan moves to Forks, Washington, where she falls in love with mysterious, moody, tan-averse Edward Cullen. Who turns out to be a vampire! But, y'know, a vegetarian one: he only eats animals. Edward and his foster brothers and sisters protect Bella when some evil vampires turn up.
尴尬境地的轻咬嘴唇的少女贝拉•斯旺搬到华盛顿福克斯，在那里她爱上了神秘的、喜怒无常的、苍白的爱德华•卡伦。原来他是一个吸血鬼!但是，你知道的，素食者：他只吃动物。爱德华和他一起长大的兄弟姐妹在一些邪恶的吸血鬼出现时保护着贝拉。
Lessons learned ...
Men will always be there to save us weak women
Whether Bella (Kristen Stewart) is walking in front of cars, falling off motorbikes, getting mugged, or merely condemning her soul to Hell by trying to have premarital sex, there's always a vampire (Edward, Robert Pattinson) or wolf (Jacob, Taylor Lautner) to save her. You know what us silly women are like! Always getting ourselves into situations men need to get us out of…
男人总是会在那里来解救我们这些脆弱的女人
无论贝拉(克里斯汀•斯图尔特)是走在汽车前面、从摩托车上坠落，被抢劫或者仅仅因试图有婚前性行为而遭受灵魂下地狱的谴责，总是会有一个吸血鬼(爱德华,罗伯特•帕丁森)或狼(雅各布,泰勒劳特纳)来救她。你知道我们这些傻女人像什么样的！总是会让自己陷在需要男性把我们解救的境地…
Twilight: New Moon
Edward's brother Jasper lets slip he wants to eat Bella (awkward!) so the Cullen family leave town and Bella mopes for months and months. The only person who can cheer her up is her childhood mate Jacob. Who – would you believe it? – is also a werewolf! But, you know, a really sexy one.
爱德华的哥哥贾斯珀无意中泄露他想吃贝拉(尴尬!)所以库伦家族离开了小镇，贝拉游荡了好几个月。唯一能让她高兴起来的人是她的童年的伙伴雅各布。谁——你会相信吗？——也是一个狼人！但是，你知道的，一个真正性感的人。
Lessons learned ...
In Hollywood, makeovers and pointless topless scenes aren't just for girls
Between Twilight and New Moon, Taylor Lautner clearly hit the gym. In the first film, he wasn't that hot: long hair, bit scrawny, at least a foot shorter than all the other men in Forks. But by movie number two he'd had a haircut, got a tattoo and was ready to take his top off. A lot. In fact, over four films, he has 13 topless scenes, all outdoors. The films are set in Forks, Washington State, near the Canadian border, in winter, and not one character says, "Hang on, aren't you a bit… cold?"
在好莱坞，打扮和无意义的上身秀并不是仅为女孩
在《暮光之城》和《新月》，泰勒劳特纳显然经常上健身房。在第一部电影里，他并没有那么性感：长发，有点骨瘦如柴的，至少比福克斯的所有其他男人矮一点。但他在第二部电影中他剪短了头发，纹身了，准备脱掉他的上衣。很多。事实上，在四部影片中，他有13个半裸的场景，所有都是户外的。影片设置华盛顿州的福克斯，靠近加拿大边境，冬天，不只一个人说：“等一下，你会不会有点…冷？”
Twilight: Eclipse
Edward's back, because he just can't live without Bella. But she wants to have sex, and he's not up for it unless they're married. "I want to bond myself to you in every way possible," she says, which is all very well but there's also an army of vampires about to arrive in Forks to try and kill Bella. Keep up.
爱德华回来了，因为他只是生活中不能没有贝拉。但是她想做爱，他还没准备好除非他们结婚了。“我想用每一个可能的方式和你绑在一起，”她说，一切都进展顺利，但是还有一群吸血鬼即将抵达福克斯试图杀死贝拉。跟上。
Lessons learned ...
Teenage boys are really frigid
They won't have sex with you if you're not married first! This isn't quite the way I remember it, but it was a long time ago. The only way that Edward will agree to sleep with Bella is if SHE'S MARRIED TO HIM. He's worried for her soul, you see. Er, if your name is Nick and you were at a house party in Farnborough in 2001, can I have my virginity back real quick, please? Because if not, I'm going to Hell. Which I can only imagine is Twilight films, on loop.
青少年男孩真的是冷漠的
他们不会与你做爱如果你们没有先结婚！这并不是我确切地记得这些，但这是很久以前的事了。爱德华唯一同意与贝拉一起睡是在她嫁给了他的情况下。他担心她的灵魂，你看。呃，如果你叫尼克，你是在2001年范堡罗的一次家庭聚会上，我可以很快要回我的童贞吗？因为如果没有，我就要去地狱。我只能想象的是《暮光之城》的电影，在循环。
Twilight: Breaking Dawn
Bella and Edward get married, have a lovely wedding, go on their honeymoon, have THE SEX, but then Bella realises she's pregnant, with a vampire baby and the NHS helpline is no use. She decides that having it is "the right thing to do".
贝拉和爱德华结婚了，有一个可爱的婚礼，去度蜜月，有性生活，但是之后贝拉意识到她怀孕了，有一个吸血鬼宝宝，NHS热线是没有用的。她决定生下他是“要做的正确的事情”。
The scary Italian vampires have turned up to get rid of Edward and Bella's daughter, Renesmee, because she's creepy. Oh, and they're worried that she'll accidentally tell all the humans they're vampires. Er, hello? Everyone knows about vampires; we've seen the documentary series True Blood.
可怕的意大利吸血鬼已经出现来消灭爱德华和贝拉的女儿Renesmee，因为她令人毛骨悚然。哦，他们担心她会不小心告诉所有的人类他们是吸血鬼。呃，你好？每个人都知道吸血鬼，我们看过系列纪录片《真爱如血》。
Lessons learned...
Never complain that 'nothing happens' in Twilight movies ever again
The fifth film will make you look back nostalgically at the lip-biting, longing stares and endless silences of the first four movies. Because this one's brutal. The battle scene is 20 minutes of heads being ripped off, faces being kicked in and at one point, someone throws a baby on the fire and everyone else is all "good move, bro".
从不抱怨在《暮光之城》电影中再次“什么也没有发生”
第五部电影会让你怀旧地回顾前四部影片中的轻咬嘴唇，渴望的目光和无尽的沉默。因为这一部是残暴的。战斗场景是20分钟的开头厮打，面临着被踢打，在某个时刻有人把一个婴儿扔进火里，其他人都在说“干得好，兄弟”。
