I can't remember the last time I got dressed up, but this evening I dug out my one fancy spaghetti-strap dress from the bottom of my backpack and slithered it on. I even wore lipstick. I can't remember the last time I wore lipstick, but I know it wasn't anywhere near India. I stopped at Armenia's house on the way over to the party, and she draped me in some of her fancy jewelry, let me borrow her fancy perfume, let me store my bicycle in her backyard so I could arrive at the party in her fancy car, like a proper adult woman.

我不记得上回盛装出门是何时的事了，但这天晚上，我从行李箱底翻出自己唯一的一件细肩带时髦洋装，穿上了它。我甚至涂了唇膏。我不记得上回涂唇膏是哪时候的事，我只知道不是在印度。在去派对的路上，我在亚美尼亚家稍作停留，她拿自己的时髦首饰套在我身上，让我借用她的时髦香水，让我把单车存放在她的后院，一起搭她的时髦轿车共同抵达派对，就像个得体的成年女人一般。

The dinner with the expatriates was great fun, and I felt myself revisiting all these long-dormant aspects of my personality. I even got a little bit drunk, which was notable after all the purity of my last few months of praying at the Ashram and sipping tea in my Balinese flower garden. And I was flirting! I hadn't flirted in ages. I'd only been hanging around with monks and medicine men lately, but suddenly I was dusting off the old sexuality again. Though I couldn't really tell who I was flirting with. I was kind of spreading it around everywhere. Was I attracted to the witty Australian former journalist sitting next to me? ("We're all drunks here," he quipped. "We write references for other drunks.") Or was it the quiet intellectual German down the table? (He promised to lend me novels from his personal library.) Or was it the handsome older Brazilian man who had cooked this giant feast for all of us in the first place? (I liked his kind brown eyes and his accent. And his cooking, of course. I said something very provocative to him, out of nowhere. He was making a joke at his own expense, saying, "I'm a full catastrophe of a Brazilian man—I can't dance, I can't play soccer and I can't play any mu-sical instruments." For some reason I replied, "Maybe so. But I have a feeling you could play a very good Casanova." Time stopped solid for a long, long moment, then, as we looked at each other frankly, like, That was an interesting idea to lay on this table. The boldness of my statement hovered in the air around us like a fragrance. He didn't deny it. I looked away first, feeling myself blush.)

和海外人士的晚餐很有意思，我感觉自己重新寻访那些长期潜藏的个人性格。我甚至有点喝醉，经过前几个月在道场祈祷、在自家巴厘庭园喝茶的纯净日子后，尤其明显。我还调情！我有很长时间没和人调情了。近来我只和僧侣及药师混在一起，但突然间，我往日的性别再度复苏。尽管我分不太清楚自己跟谁调情，有点像到处调情。我是否迷恋坐在隔壁那位机灵的澳洲前记者？（"我们这儿每个人都是醉汉，"他打趣道，"我们来写参考资料给其他醉汉看。"）或者桌子那头那位安静的德国文化人？（他答应把个人收藏的小说借给我看。）或是为我们烹煮这餐盛宴的那个年纪较大的巴西美男子？（我喜欢他亲切的棕眼和他的口音，当然还有他的厨艺。我不知哪根筋不对，跟他说了些非常挑逗的话。他开了个关于自己花钱的玩笑，然后说："我这个巴西男人是彻底的灾难——不会跳舞，不会踢足球，也不会玩乐器。"出于某种原因，我答道："或许吧。但我感觉你可以扮演一个很好的情圣。"当时，时间静止好长一段时间，我们率直地注视彼此，好像在说："把这想法摊开来谈很是有趣。"我的大胆声明仿若香味般在我们四周的空气中飞翔。他并未否认。我先把眼光别开，感觉自己脸红了起来。）