On my ride back to the Ashram, after seeing Richard off at the airport, I decide that I've been talking too much. To be honest, I've been talking too much my whole life, but I've really been talking too much during my stay at the Ashram. I have another two months here, and I don't want to waste the greatest spiritual opportunity of my life by being all social and chatty the whole time. It's been amazing for me to discover that even here, even in a sacred environment of spiritual retreat on the other side of the world, I have managed to create a cocktail-party-like vibe around me. It's not just Richard I've been talking to constantly—though we did do the most gabbing—I'm always yakking with somebody. I've even found myself—in an Ashram, mind you!—creating appointments to see acquaintances, having to say to somebody, "I'm sorry, I can't hang out with you at lunch today because I promised Sakshi I would eat with her . . . maybe we could make a date for next Tuesday."

去机场为理查送行后，我在回道场途中，断定自己的话一直太多。老实说，我这一生已经讲了太多的话，但我待在道场这段期间的确也讲太多话了。我在这里还有两个月的时间，我不想把一生最伟大的心灵时光，全浪费在整天搞社交、喋喋不休之上。我讶异地发现，即使在这世界彼端的神圣静修环境下，我竟也能在周遭制造出鸡尾酒会似的气氛。我不仅一天到晚跟理查说话——虽然我们最常聊天打屁——也经常和他人饶舌。我甚至发现自己——在一所“道场”，请注意！——跟朋友约时间见面，也必须先对某某人说：“很抱歉，今天中午没办法跟你吃饭，因为我答应莎克希要跟她吃饭……也许我们可以改约下礼拜二。”

This has been the story of my life. It's how I am. But I've been thinking lately that this is maybe a spiritual liability. Silence and solitude are universally recognized spiritual practices, and there are good reasons for this. Learning how to discipline your speech is a way of pre-venting your energies from spilling out of you through the rupture of your mouth, exhausting you and filling the world with words, words, words instead of serenity, peace and bliss. Swam-iji, my Guru's master, was a stickler about silence in the Ashram, heavily enforcing it as a de-votional practice. He called silence the only true religion. It's ridiculous how much I've been talking at this Ashram, the one place in the world where silence should—and can—reign.

这是我的生活方式。这就是我。不过近来我在想，这或许不利于心灵。沉默与孤寂是世人公认的心灵实践。这有其理由。学习如何控制自己说话，避免让能量通过嘴巴泄漏出来，筋疲力竭，让世界充满一大堆废话，而非静谧、和平与幸福。我导师的师父思瓦米吉相当坚持在道场保持静默，十分强调静默是一种信仰实践。他把静默称作唯一真实的宗教。我在本该万籁俱寂的道场如此聒噪，着实荒唐。