But it means so much to the family, to see their children wedded off successfully. Tulsi has an aunt who just shaved her head as a gesture of thanks to God because her oldest daughter—at the Jurassic age of twenty-eight—finally got married. And this was a difficult girl to marry off, too; she had a lot of strikes against her. I asked Tulsi what makes an Indian girl difficult to marry off, and she said there are any number of reasons.
然而看见孩子们嫁得成功，对家人来说意义重大。图丝有个舅妈把头剃光，以示感谢神，因为她的大女儿在老得很的二十八岁时终于嫁了出去。她还是个不容易嫁出去的姑娘；她的处境很不利于自己。我问图丝，一名印度姑娘若很难嫁出去，是什么原因。她说原因很多。

"If she has a bad horoscope. If she's too old. If her skin is too dark. If she's too educated and you can't find a man with a higher position than hers, and this is a widespread problem these days because a woman cannot be more educated than her husband. Or if she's had an affair with someone and the whole community knows about it, oh, it would be quite difficult to find a husband after that . . ."
“比如说，星座命盘不好。年纪太大。肤色太黑。教育程度太高，因此找不到匹配的男人。近年来，这个问题很普遍，因为女人不能比她老公受更多教育。或是跟某人谈过恋爱，让整个社区的人都知道，喔，这之后想找到老公可不容易……”

I quickly ran through the list, trying to see how marriageable I would appear in Indian society. I don't know whether my horoscope is good or bad, but I'm definitely too old and I'm way too educated, and my morals have been publicly demonstrated to be quite tarnished . . . I'm not a very appealing prospect. At least my skin is fair. I have only this in my favor.
我很快看看这项清单，想知道自己在印度社会中是否容易成婚。我不清楚自己的命盘是好是坏，但我肯定年纪太大，受的教育太高，而我的道德已被公认为有污点……我不是太有魅力的候选人。至少我的皮肤白。我只有这个优势。

Tulsi had to go to another cousin's wedding last week, and she was saying (in very unIndian fashion) how much she hates weddings. All that dancing and gossip. All that dressing up. She would rather be at the Ashram scrubbing floors and meditating. Nobody else in her family can understand this; her devotion to God is way beyond anything they consider normal. Tulsi said, "In my family, they have already given up on me as too different. I have established a reputation for being someone who, if you tell her to do one thing, will almost certainly do the other. I also have a temper. And I'm not dedicated to my studies, except that now I will be, because now I'm going to college and I can decide for myself what I'm interested in. I want to study psychology, just as our Guru did when she attended college. I'm considered a difficult girl. I have a reputation for needing to be told a good reason to do something before I will do it. My mother understands this about me and always tries to give good reasons, but my father doesn't. He gives reasons, but I don't think they're good enough. Sometimes I wonder what I'm doing in my family because I don't resemble them at all."
图丝上个礼拜必须去参加她堂姐的婚礼，她说（以一种很不印度的方式）自己很讨厌婚礼。人人跳舞、说三道四。打扮得漂漂亮亮。她宁可在道场刷地板、禅坐。她家没有人了解她；她对神的虔敬在他们眼中已超乎寻常。图丝说：“因为我太不同，我的家人已经放弃我。我已得到一个名声，是那种如果叫她做什么，她肯定会反其道而行的人。而且我脾气不好。我不认真于学业，不过现在我会认真学习，因为我就要上大学，可以自己决定对什么感兴趣。我要念心理学，就像我们的导师念大学的时候一样。我被认为是难搞的姑娘。我有个名声，做一件事之前得给我充分的理由，我才肯去做。我母亲了解我这个特点，总是想办法寻找充分的理由，但我父亲可不。他给我理由，但我觉得不够充分。有时候我不晓得自己在家干什么，因为我跟他们一点也不像。”

But it means so much to the family, to see their children wedded off successfully. Tulsi has an aunt who just shaved her head as a gesture of thanks to God because her oldest daughter—at the Jurassic age of twenty-eight—finally got married. And this was a difficult girl to marry off, too; she had a lot of strikes against her. I asked Tulsi what makes an Indian girl difficult to marry off, and she said there are any number of reasons.
然而看见孩子们嫁得成功，对家人来说意义重大。图丝有个舅妈把头剃光，以示感谢神，因为她的大女儿在老得很的二十八岁时终于嫁了出去。她还是个不容易嫁出去的姑娘；她的处境很不利于自己。我问图丝，一名印度姑娘若很难嫁出去，是什么原因。她说原因很多。

"If she has a bad horoscope. If she's too old. If her skin is too dark. If she's too educated and you can't find a man with a higher position than hers, and this is a widespread problem these days because a woman cannot be more educated than her husband. Or if she's had an affair with someone and the whole community knows about it, oh, it would be quite difficult to find a husband after that . . ."
“比如说，星座命盘不好。年纪太大。肤色太黑。教育程度太高，因此找不到匹配的男人。近年来，这个问题很普遍，因为女人不能比她老公受更多教育。或是跟某人谈过恋爱，让整个社区的人都知道，喔，这之后想找到老公可不容易……”

I quickly ran through the list, trying to see how marriageable I would appear in Indian society. I don't know whether my horoscope is good or bad, but I'm definitely too old and I'm way too educated, and my morals have been publicly demonstrated to be quite tarnished . . . I'm not a very appealing prospect. At least my skin is fair. I have only this in my favor.
我很快看看这项清单，想知道自己在印度社会中是否容易成婚。我不清楚自己的命盘是好是坏，但我肯定年纪太大，受的教育太高，而我的道德已被公认为有污点……我不是太有魅力的候选人。至少我的皮肤白。我只有这个优势。

Tulsi had to go to another cousin's wedding last week, and she was saying (in very unIndian fashion) how much she hates weddings. All that dancing and gossip. All that dressing up. She would rather be at the Ashram scrubbing floors and meditating. Nobody else in her family can understand this; her devotion to God is way beyond anything they consider normal. Tulsi said, "In my family, they have already given up on me as too different. I have established a reputation for being someone who, if you tell her to do one thing, will almost certainly do the other. I also have a temper. And I'm not dedicated to my studies, except that now I will be, because now I'm going to college and I can decide for myself what I'm interested in. I want to study psychology, just as our Guru did when she attended college. I'm considered a difficult girl. I have a reputation for needing to be told a good reason to do something before I will do it. My mother understands this about me and always tries to give good reasons, but my father doesn't. He gives reasons, but I don't think they're good enough. Sometimes I wonder what I'm doing in my family because I don't resemble them at all."
图丝上个礼拜必须去参加她堂姐的婚礼，她说（以一种很不印度的方式）自己很讨厌婚礼。人人跳舞、说三道四。打扮得漂漂亮亮。她宁可在道场刷地板、禅坐。她家没有人了解她；她对神的虔敬在他们眼中已超乎寻常。图丝说：“因为我太不同，我的家人已经放弃我。我已得到一个名声，是那种如果叫她做什么，她肯定会反其道而行的人。而且我脾气不好。我不认真于学业，不过现在我会认真学习，因为我就要上大学，可以自己决定对什么感兴趣。我要念心理学，就像我们的导师念大学的时候一样。我被认为是难搞的姑娘。我有个名声，做一件事之前得给我充分的理由，我才肯去做。我母亲了解我这个特点，总是想办法寻找充分的理由，但我父亲可不。他给我理由，但我觉得不够充分。有时候我不晓得自己在家干什么，因为我跟他们一点也不像。”