Two nights in a row now I've had dreams of a snake entering my room. I've read that this is spiritually auspicious (and not just in Eastern religions; Saint Ignatius had serpent visions all throughout his mystical experiences), but it doesn't make the snakes any less vivid or scary. I've been waking up sweating. Even worse, once I am awake, my mind has been two-timing me again, betraying me into a state of panic like I haven't felt since the worst of the divorce years. My thoughts keep flying back to my failed marriage, and to all the attendant shame and anger of that event. Worse, I'm again dwelling on David. I'm arguing with him in my mind, I'm mad and lonely and remembering every hurtful thing he ever said or did to me. Plus I can't stop thinking about all our happiness together, the thrilling delirium when times were good. It's all I can do not to jump out of this bed and call him from India in the middle of the night and just—I don't know what—just hang up on him, probably. Or beg him to love me again. Or read him such a ferocious indictment on all his character flaws.
连续两晚，我梦见蛇爬进我的房间。我读过书上说，这象征精神上的吉利（不仅东方宗教如此，圣依纳［SaintIgnatius］在其神秘体验过程中，亦曾出现蛇的异象），却完全没有减轻蛇的逼真或恐怖。我流着汗惊醒过来。更糟的是，我一醒来，脑子再次背叛我，使我陷入自悲惨的离婚岁月以来最惊惶失措的状态。我的思维不断跳回失败的婚姻以及伴随而来的羞愧与愤怒。雪上加霜的是，我再度想着大卫。我在脑袋里与他争辩，我生气、寂寞，忆起他伤害过我的话语和作为。再加上，我忍不住想起我们在一起的幸福日子，那段打得火热的美好时光。我只能忍着不从床上跳起来，半夜三更从印度打电话给他，然后或许把电话挂了吧。或者求他再爱我一次。或者对他全部的性格缺陷进行凶狠的指控。

Why is all this stuff coming up again now?
这些事情为什么现在又浮现出来？

I know what they would say, all the old-timers at this Ashram. They would say this is perfectly normal, that everyone goes through this, that intense meditation brings everything up, that you're just clearing out all your residual demons . . . but I'm in such an emotional state I can't stand it and I don't want to hear anyone's hippie theories. I recognize that everything is coming up, thank you very much. Like vomit it's coming up.
我知道这些道场的前辈们会怎么说。他们会说这一切都很正常，每个人都经历过这些过程，密集的禅修反映出一切，你只是在清除心中残留的魔鬼……但我的情绪让我承受不了，不想听任何人的嬉皮理论。我明白一切都浮现出来，十分感谢，就像呕吐的浮现。

Somehow I manage to fall asleep again, lucky me, and I have another dream. No snakes this time, but a rangy, evil dog who chases me and says, "I will kill you. I will kill you and eat you!"
我设法再度睡着，幸运的是我做了另一个梦。这回不是蛇，而是一只高瘦的恶犬追赶着我，说：“我要咬死你。我要咬死你，把你吃掉！”

I wake up crying and shaking. I don't want to disturb my roommates, so I go hide in the bathroom. The bathroom, always the bathroom! Heaven help me, but there I am in a bathroom again, in the middle of the night again, weeping my heart out on the floor in loneliness. Oh, cold world—I have grown so weary of you and all your horrible bathrooms.
我哭着醒来，浑身颤抖。我不想打扰室友们，于是躲进浴室。浴室，老是浴室！老天帮帮忙吧，我又三更半夜在浴室地板上，在孤寂中哭得肝肠寸断。喔，冷漠的世界——我对你、对可怕的浴室感到如此厌倦。

When the crying doesn't stop, I go get myself a notebook and a pen (last refuge of a scoundrel) and I sit once more beside the toilet. I open to a blank page and scrawl my nowfamiliar plea of desperation:
由于无法停止哭泣，我给自己拿来笔记本和笔（坏蛋的最后一线生机），又一次在马桶旁坐下。我打开空白页，写下早已熟悉的绝望请求：

"I NEED YOUR HELP."
“我需要你的帮忙。”

Then a long exhale of relief comes as, in my own handwriting, my own constant friend (who is it?) commences loyally to my own rescue:
而后我如释重负地吐一口长气，我永远的朋友（它是谁？）忠心耿耿地前来拯救我自己，亲笔写下：

"I'm right here. It's OK. I love you. I will never leave you . . ." Eat, Pray, Love
“我就在这里。没事。我爱你。我永远不会离开你……”