The next morning's meditation is a disaster. Desperate, I beg my mind to please step aside and let me find God, but my mind stares at me with steely power and says, "I will never let you pass me by."
隔天清晨的禅坐完全是灾难。绝望的我请求脑袋让开一点，让我找到神，但我的脑袋用刚毅的目光盯住我，说：“我永远不让你过。”

That whole next day, in fact, I'm so hateful and angry that I fear for the life of anyone who crosses my path. I snap at this poor German woman because she doesn't speak English well and she can't understand when I tell her where the bookstore is. I'm so ashamed of my rage that I go hide in (yet another!) bathroom and cry, and then I'm so mad at myself for crying as I remember my Guru's counsel not to fall apart all the time or else it becomes a habit . . . but what does she know about it? She's enlightened. She can't help me. She doesn't understand me.
这一天，我一整天咬牙切齿、忿忿不平，使我担心自己会把我碰到的任何人给杀了。一位可怜的德国女子因为不会说英语，听不懂我告诉她书店在哪里，而被我斥责。我为自己的暴躁感到惭愧，于是躲进（又一次！）浴室哭，而后为自己的哭泣感到恼火，因为想起导师曾劝告我们切勿一天到晚情绪崩溃，否则可能成为习惯……可是她懂吗？毕竟她是得到光启的人。她帮不了我。她不了解我。

I don't want anyone to talk to me. I can't tolerate anyone's face right now. I even manage to dodge Richard from Texas for a while, but he eventually finds me at dinner and sits down—brave man—in my black smoke of self-loathing.
我不想跟任何人说话。此刻的我无法忍受任何人的面孔。我甚至设法闪避德州理查一会儿，不过他终究在晚餐时间找到我，坐下来——勇敢的家伙——面对被自我憎恨笼罩的我。

"What's got you all wadded up?" he drawls, toothpick in mouth, as usual.
“你干嘛皱成一团？”他慢声慢气地说，嘴里叼着牙签，一如往常。

"Don't ask," I say, but then I start talking and tell him every bit of it, concluding with, "And worst of all, I can't stop obsessing over David. I thought I was over him, but it's all coming up again."
“别问吧，”我说，而后却说了起来，我一五一十地告诉他，最后还说，“最糟的是，我没办法停止对大卫的迷恋。我以为早已摆脱他，一切却又重新浮现。”

He says, "Give it another six months, you'll feel better." "I've already given it twelve months, Richard."
他说：“再等个六个月吧，你会觉得好一些。”“我已经等了十二个月，理查。”

"Then give it six more. Just keep throwin' six months at it till it goes away. Stuff like this takes time."
“那就再等六个月。继续给它个六个月，把它给赶跑。这类事情得花点时间。”

I exhale hotly through my nose, bull-like.
我愤怒呼气，像头牛。

"Groceries," Richard says, "listen to me. Someday you're gonna look back on this moment of your life as such a sweet time of grieving. You'll see that you were in mourning and your heart was broken, but your life was changing and you were in the best possible place in the world for it—in a beautiful place of worship, surrounded by grace. Take this time, every minute of it. Let things work themselves out here in India."
“食品杂货，”理查说，“听我说。有一天当你回头看生命的这一刻，会是甜美的悲伤时光。你哀悼、你心碎，生命却因此而改变，你曾为此待在世界上可能数一数二的最佳地点——在优美的寺院内，被神恩环绕。利用这段时间的每一分钟。让事情在印度这里自行解决。”

"But I really loved him."
“可是我真的爱他。”

"Big deal. So you fell in love with someone. Don't you see what happened? This guy touched a place in your heart deeper than you thought you were capable of reaching, I mean you got zapped, kiddo. But that love you felt, that's just the beginning. You just got a taste of love. That's just limited little rinky-dink mortal love. Wait till you see how much more deeply you can love than that. Heck, Groceries—you have the capacity to someday love the whole world. It's your destiny. Don't laugh."
“了不得。你爱上某个人了。你不懂吗？这家伙触动你内心深处，超过你想象能触及的地方。我是说你被电到了，老姐。可你感觉到的爱，只不过是个开始。你仅仅尝到爱的滋味。只是寒酸的凡俗之爱。等着看你爱得比这个更深吧。干嘛呀，食品杂货——总有一天，你有能力爱整个世界。这是你的命定。别笑。”

"I'm not laughing." I was actually crying. "And please don't laugh at me now, but I think the reason it's so hard for me to get over this guy is because I seriously believed David was my soul mate."
“我没笑，”我其实在哭，“也请你现在不要嘲笑我，我觉得自己之所以忘不了大卫，是因为我真的相信大卫是自己的精神伴侣。”