Trying to Be "Ugly".

美丽在我心。

Everyone in the apartment complex I lived in knew who Ugly was. Ugly was the resident tomcat. Ugly loved three things in this world: fighting, eating garbage, and, shall we say, love.

我住的公寓大楼里的每个人都认得这只丑八怪。丑八怪曾是小区里的流浪猫。在这个世界上他只喜欢做三件事：战斗、吃垃圾，还有，应该说是爱吧。

The combination of these things combined with a life spent outside had their effect on Ugly. To start with, he had only one eye and where the other should have been was a gaping hole. He was also missing his ear on the same side, his left foot appeared to have been badly broken at one time, and had healed at an unnatural angle, making him look like he was always turning the corner. His tail has long age been lost, leaving only the smallest stub, which he would constantly jerk and twitch.

生命中的这三件事再加上流浪的生活造就了这只丑八怪：他只有一只眼睛，另一边则成了一个大窟窿。同一侧的耳朵也没有了，他的一只左脚看起来也受过伤，痊愈后的样子变成了个极不自然的斜角，使他看起来总像是在不停地转弯。他的尾巴大部分也都不见了，只剩下一个短小的咎，却像是始终在不停地摇呀，摇呀。

Ugly would have been a dark grey tabby, striped-type, except for the sores covering his head, neck, even his shoulders with thick, yellowing scabs. Every time someone saw Ugly there was the same reaction. "That's one UGLY cat!!" All the children were warned not to touch him, the adults threw rocks at him, hosed him down, squirted him when he tried to come in their home or shut his paws in the door when he would not leave. Ugly always had the same reaction. If you turned the hose on him, he would stand there, getting soaked until you gave up and quit. If you threw things at him, he would curl his lanky body around feet in forgiveness.

丑八怪应该属于一条深灰色的虎斑猫，条纹的那种，当然除了他头上、脖子上和肩膀上那些带着厚厚的黄色痂子的疮口。每次有人看到丑八怪都会只有一个反应：真是只难看的丑八怪。所有的孩子们都被告知不能触摸他：大人们用石子丢他，用水管浇他；当他进屋的时候用水枪射他，当他不肯离去的时候用门挤他的爪子。可丑八怪只有一个反应：如果你用水管浇他，他只会站在那儿被淋得通透，直到你放弃到停止；如果你朝他丢东西，他则把瘦长的身体蜷缩在脚上，连带其早已宽恕之心。

Whenever he spied children, he would come running, meowing frantically and bump his head against their hand begging for their love. If you ever picked him, up he would immediately begin suckling on your shirt, earring whatever he could find.

每次他看到孩子都会跑过去喵！喵！……，疯狂地喊叫，并用他的他在孩子们的手上使劲儿蹭，祈求他们的怜爱。倘若你把他抱起来，他马上就会开始吸吮你的衬衫、耳环……一切他能找到的东西。

One day Ugly shared his love with the neighbor's huskies. They did not respond kindly, and Ugly was badly mauled. From my apartment I could hear his scream and I tried to rush to his aid. By the time I got to where he was laying, it was apparent Ugly's sad life was almost at an end.

一天丑八怪将爱分享给了邻居家的哈士奇们，可对方却并没有报以慈悲，小丑被撕咬得很严重。从我的公寓里听见了他的尖叫声，我努力去救他。可当我到了他躺着的地方，看到的几乎就是他悲惨一生的终点。

Ugly lay in a wet circle, his back legs and lower back twisted grossly out of shape, a gaping tear in the white strip of fur that ran down his front. As I picked him up and tried to carry him home, I could hear him wheezing and gasping, and could feel him struggling. It must be hurting him terribly, I thought.

丑八怪躺在一个潮湿的水坑里，他的后腿和下背部蜷在了一起、血肉模糊，皮毛白色条纹上大口子也被撕到了前身。当我把它捡起来试图带他回家的时候，我还可以听到他的喘息，还可以感到他的挣扎。我知道，他一定是伤得太重了。

Then I felt a familiar tugging, sucking sensation on my ear. Ugly, in so much pain, suffering and obviously dying, was trying to suckle my ear. I pulled him closer to me, and he bumped the palm of my hand with his head, then he turned his one golden eye towards me, and I could hear the distinct sound of purring. Even in the greatest pain, that ugly battled-scarred cat was asking only for a little affection, perhaps some compassion.

突入我感到了一阵熟悉的拽曳，耳朵上也有了被吸吮的感觉。丑八怪，正背负着极大的痛苦、煎熬，甚至是濒临的死亡，竟在尝试着吸吮我的耳朵。我将他贴近了些，他便开始用他的头蹭我的手掌，接着，他以那只金黄色的眼睛看着我，而我也听到了那呼吸声的衰竭。尽管身负剧痛，这只丑陋的满身战伤的丑八怪所央求的却只是一点点的慈爱，或者也只是一点点的怜悯。

At that moment I thought Ugly was the most beautiful, loving creature I had ever seen. Never once did he try to bite or scratch me, or even try to get away from me, or struggle in any way. Ugly just looked up at me completely trusting in me to relieve his pain.

在那时，我觉得丑八怪是我所见过的最美丽的、最亲爱的生灵。他从来没试图咬过或抓过我，甚至都没有躲过或挣脱我。丑八怪只是用那充满信任的眼神看着我，去祛除他的痛苦。

Ugly died in my arms before I could get inside, but I sat and held him for a long time afterward thinking about how one scarred, deformed little stray could so alter my opinion about what it means to have true pureness of spirit, to love so totally and truly. Ugly taught me more about giving and compassion than a thousand book lecture or talk show specials ever could, and for that I will always be thankful. He had been scarred on the outside, but I was scarred on the inside, and it was time for me to move on and learn to love truly and deeply. To give my total to those I cared for.

还没进门，丑八怪就死在了我的怀里，但之后我抱着他坐了许久，我在想一只满身伤疤的畸形小浪猫如何改变了我对纯净心灵的理解-去爱得如此不顾一切、如此真诚。丑八怪教与我的付出与怜悯胜过读万卷书，也正因如此我将永远心存感激。他的伤疤烙在了外在，而我的内在却早已伤疤累累。是时候忘掉过去往前看，学会爱得真实、爱得深烈。将我之所有给与那些我在意的人。

Many people want to be richer, more successful, well liked, beautiful, but for me, I will always try to be Ugly.

许多人追求更富贵、更成功、更迷人、更美丽，而我，将永远去追求做一只丑八怪。