小编摘要：当下，流行文化中最赚钱的话题是僵尸、吸血鬼和世界末日——这也合情合理。本文在向玛雅预言致敬的同时，也为你揭示2012世界末日来临的9个另类征兆。

$8.5 billion ain't what it used to be

Back in June, it looked like Bank of America had a rare win on its hands: a proposed settlement with trustee Bank of New York to the tune of $8.5 billion, meant to restore the damage done by faulty mortgage-backed securities financed by BofA's Countrywide division. Come October, the settlement fell apart because investors (among many other vocal groups, too) didn't feel the figure was high enough. $8.5 billion, not enough money? Yikes. That's a scary indicator for banking in general, but also for BofA considering it is more than the institution made in the last four years combined. The collapsed deal is another low-point in a rough year for the bank and CEO Brian Moynihan. At least he axed those $5 debit card fees.

85亿美元都不够花了

2011年6月，美国银行（Bank of America）眼看就要取得一场罕见的胜利：它计划以大约85亿美元的资金，与受托人美国纽约银行（Bank of New York）达成和解，旨在挽回由美国银行子公司Countrywide提供资金的不良抵押证券所造成的损失。然而到10月份，因为投资人（以及其他众多意见团体）认为85亿美元不足以解决问题，导致和解最终破裂。难道85亿美元还不够多吗？没错！总的看来，85亿美元对银行业来说是一个惊人的数字，而考虑到85亿美元超过了美国银行过去四年盈利的总和，这一数字着实令人吃惊。美国银行和CEO布赖恩·莫伊尼汉2011年流年不利，而这次和解破裂则意味着又一低谷，但至少布赖恩还是做出了取消5美元借记卡费用的决定。

The hottest CEOs are very, very young

Facebook. Twitter. Groupon. Zynga. LinkedIn. Yelp. The list keeps growing, but the ages don't. Mark Zuckerberg (impending Facebook IPO: shooting for a $100 billion valuation), no longer a new name to anyone, is still only 27. Andrew Mason, CEO of Groupon (which raised $700 million for its IPO), is 27 as well. Zynga, which went public in December, is helmed by Mark Pincus, who even at 45 is on the young side for what was, until recently, the prototypical American blue-chip company CEO. (Think Warren Buffett of Berkshire Hathaway, 82, ex-Ford CEO Alan Mulally, 66, or ExxonMobil CEO Rex Tillerson, 60.) Let's face it: the biggest, buzziest business news is continually coming from companies that are helmed by people who listened to Green Day in middle school.

商界当红骄子都是小年轻

Facebook、Twitter、团购网站Groupon、社交游戏公司Zynga、商务社交网络LinkedIn和点评网站Yelp都是如今炙手可热的科技公司，而且这份名单还在不断扩容，但这些公司掌门人的年龄却没有呈现上升的趋势：马克·扎克伯克（Facebook即将进行首次公开募股：估值有望达到1,000亿美元）不再是个籍籍无名的名字，而他2011年只有27岁；Groupon的CEO安德鲁·梅森（首次公开募股筹资7亿美元）2011 年也是27岁；Zynga公司于2011年12月上市，马克·平卡斯是这家典型的美国蓝筹公司的CEO。虽然他已经45岁，仍然是较为年轻的CEO。（想想吧：美国保险公司伯克希尔·哈撒韦公司（Berkshire Hathaway）的沃伦·巴菲特已是82岁高龄、福特公司（Ford）前CEO艾伦·穆拉利已经66岁了，埃克森美孚公司（ExxonMobil）CEO雷克斯·蒂尔纳森也60岁了。）面对现实吧，如今商界的重磅新闻都是来源于这些新生力量，而他们的掌门人都是些听着绿日乐队（Green Day）的歌曲长大的年轻人。

Hollywood knows it's coming

Movies and film have gone gaga for the end-of-the-world trope. If this thing doesn't happen in 2012 as the Mayans predicted, the entertainment industry is going to be practically disappointed. The hottest movie and TV franchises — think Twilight (oh, Edward!) — feed our obsessions with death. 2011, with releases like Melancholia, Super 8, and Rise of the Planet of the Apes, was yet another big year for the apocalypse and alien invasion movie trend that has been building for five years. This includes I Am Legend, 28 Days Later, Cloverfield, War of the Worlds, Children of Men, The Book of Eli, The Road, and of course, 2012. On television, we're watching shows like Falling Skies (alien attack), The Walking Dead (zombies), True Blood (vampires), and The Vampire Diaries (self-explanatory). All we want to see is the end of the world. Even business flicks know it: this year's two biggest, Too Big to Fail and Margin Call, were also, in a sense, movies about the end of the (financial) world.

好莱坞成了末日先知

世界末日的隐喻席卷了整个影视界。如果世界末日最终没有象玛雅人预测的那样发生如期而至，演艺界将会失望透顶。最热门的影视作品 ——如《暮光之城》（Twilight）——总是让我们想到死亡。随着《惊悚末日》（Melancholia）、《超级8》（Super 8）和《猩球崛起》（Rise of the Planet of the Apes）的上映，2011年是末日和外星人入侵题材的又一个丰收之年。此前的五年中，这种题材日趋火热，电影作品包括《我是传奇》（I am Legend）、《惊变28天》（28 Days Later）、《柯洛弗档案》（Cloverfield）、《世界大战》（War of the Worlds）、《末代浩劫》（Children of Men）、《艾利之书》（The Book of Eli）、《末日危险》（The Road），当然还包括《2012》（2012）。电视作品包括《陨落星辰》（Falling Skies）（外星人入侵）、《行尸走肉》（The walking dead）（僵尸）、《噬血真爱》（True Love）（吸血鬼）和《吸血鬼日记》（The Vampire Diaries）（一目了然）。不管我们想看什么，看到的所有东西都是世界末日。就连商业电影也有所涉猎：2011年的两部大片《大而不倒》（Too Big to Fail）和《利益风暴》（Margin Call）从某种角度来说也属于（商业）世界末日电影。

Publishers know it too

The biggest novel of the year, by many accounts, was Colson Whitehead's Zone One, published in October. The subject? A plague has wiped out most of humanity and much of the remaining people are zombies. It was Esquire's "Best Book of the Fall." The New York Observer called it a "brilliant allegory of New York City living." In other words, we're basically Zombies already. Oh, and one of this year's other hugely popular releases in the literary fiction world? Tom Perrotta's The Leftovers, which focuses on the lives of the people left after The Rapture takes place.

出版界也听到风声了

从很多方面来看，2011年最热门的小说当属10月份出版的《第一区》（Zone One，科尔森·怀特海德著）。小说的主题是瘟疫夺去了大部分人的生命，幸存的人都变成了僵尸。它是《时尚先生》（Esquire）秋季最畅销书。《纽约观察家报》（The New York Observer）称它是对纽约都市生活最精彩的隐喻。言外之意是，我们已然沦为行尸走肉。另外，2011年文学小说最近流行的是哪一本？答案是汤姆 ·佩罗塔的《被遗弃的人》（The leftovers），描写了被提灾难（The Rapture，源自希腊文harpazo，被夺、被取及被提。因某种力量，以强迫方式将某人或某物夺走——译者注）中生还者的生活。

Steve Jobs is gone

It's the saddest sign of them all. The satirical paper The Onion summed it up best with its headline: "Last American Who Knew What The Fuck He Was Doing Dies."

史蒂夫·乔布斯走了

这是最沉重的一条启示录。讽刺报纸《洋葱报》（The Onion）的标题是最好的总结：《最后一个清楚地知道自己在做什么的美国人去世了》（"Last American Who Knew What The Fuck He Was Doing Dies.）

Politics has totally stopped working

This one is 200 years in the making. The Republican presidential primary race has had more ups and downs than a rollercoaster (plus a larger-than-usual share of gaffes, shocks and horrors). And in the final wee hours of the year, Congress finds itself incapable of passing a tax cut extension that both parties essentially agree on. Things are only likely to get worse as the election approaches. It's like they aren't trying.

美国政坛停摆

这是一次200年不遇的事件。共和党总统预选的经历比乘坐过山车还要跌宕起伏（其间还包括不同寻常的失礼、震惊和恐怖）。在2011年最后的几个小时中，美国国会（Congress）发现自己无力弥合两党分歧，通过减税延长法案。随着总统大选的到来，局势只会越来越恶劣。而且政界似乎已经选择了破罐子破摔。

Pizza is a vegetable

Okay, sure, it's really that Congress merely upheld a ruling about tomato paste, but that hasn't made a difference to the general public, which has decided that pizza is now a vegetable. The ruling credits tomato paste with having nutritional value-- one eighth of a cup has as much value as a half-cup of veggies--which certainly won't help us reverse the obesity epidemic plaguing our country's people. But hey, if the world might be ending, we may as well pig out.

披萨成了健康食品

好吧，其实，国会只是裁定蕃茄酱属于健康蔬菜，但是这对公众没什么两样，人们已经认定披萨就是蔬菜。国会的裁决认为蕃茄酱具有营养价值——八分之一杯的蕃茄酱与半杯蔬菜的营养价值相同——当然，这对我们对抗困扰全美、威胁人们健康的肥胖症没什么帮助。但是，如果真的有世界末日，我们不妨做个饱死鬼。

We're still keeping up with Kim

You could say that Kim Kardashian and her K-crew are easy pickings for ridicule. This year, our fascination with the spoiled beauty reached a fever pitch. America watched as she married NBA player Kris Humphries, then continued to watch, in a mix of horror and delight, when they split up after some 70 days. You'd think that such a humiliating flameout would put to rest our interest for good, but it only continues, stronger than ever. Meanwhile, signs point to the possibility that Kardashian, or her family, or her managers, or someone at the helm of this circus, orchestrated the marriage as a publicity stunt (Humphries is now seeking an annulment on the grounds that Kardashian defrauded him). The worst part? None of that seems to matter to the audience.

卡戴珊让我们欲罢不能

你可以讽刺金•卡戴珊和她的金家帮已经沦为人们的笑柄。但2011年，我们对这个骄纵的社交名媛的着迷程度已经演变成狂热。她与NBA球员克里斯•亨弗里斯的婚礼万众瞩目；大约70天后，两人闪电分手，人们除了震惊和兴奋，依然选择继续关注。有人可能认为这场婚姻以这样难堪的方式收场将会永远地浇灭人们对她的热情，但是人们仍在继续关注她，而且程度有增无减。同时，有迹象表明：卡戴珊本人、她的家人、她的经纪人、或者团队的其他负责人在拿她的婚姻做秀，导演了这出闹剧（眼下，亨弗里斯以卡戴珊欺诈为由提出了离婚）。最糟糕的事是什么呢？其实这一切都跟我们这些看客没有关系。

Remember the Hansons? They make beer

MmmBop, bit du bop dah

Du bop, dooby dop wah

Du bop, bip budop bah do

Yeah, yeah

...Yeah, those kids. The brothers on the album above, who put out "MMMBop," the chorus of which is also above. (That's the closest we can do to nailing the lyrics. It's very difficult. We listened five times.) While you were busy trying to get that song out of your head after some merciless coworker chose it from the karaoke machine at the holiday party, they were busy working on their next venture: beer. The trio has an IPA hitting the market in Q1 2012. It's called MMMHop. If that doesn't tickle your drinking fancy, how about Hello Kitty wine? The company has a California rose coming next year in Angel or Devil varieties. Meow.

流行乐队都跑去酿酒了

还记得下面这段旋律吗？

MmmBop, bit du bop dah

Du bop, dooby dop wah

Du bop, bip budop bah do

没错，就是他们。上图中出版了《MMMBop》这张专辑的三兄弟（上文是主打歌的副歌部分）。（这是我们能听写出来的最接近原文的歌词。歌词的听写非常困难，我们听了五遍都没法确定具体内容。）就在狠心的同事从派对卡拉OK机中选中这首歌，而你试图把它的旋律抛到脑后时，流行音乐组合汉森兄弟已经开始忙于进军下一个事业：啤酒业。他们将在2012年第1季度推出印度爱儿啤酒（IPA），并命名为MMMHop。如果它还不能激起你饮酒的欲望，那么Hello Kitty红酒呢？这家公司将在明年推出天使版和魔鬼版的加州粉红葡萄酒。喵呜！