英语原文(上)

There are lots of ways to improve your self-confidence over the long-term – but sometimes you need an instant boost. You can’t walk into an important work meeting, (or a class at college or a room full of strangers at a party) whilst frantically re-reading a self-help manual, or making a last-minute phone call to your life-coach. So here are ten secrets to boosting your self-confidence in just a few seconds…

1. Smile

The one-second tip for when you’re feeling nervous and unconfident is simply to smile! You don’t just smile because you are happy and confident – you can smile to make yourself feel better. The act of smiling is so strongly associated with positive feelings that it’s almost impossible to feel bad while smiling.

Smiling is much more then just a facial expression. The simple act of smiling releases feel-good endorphins, improves circulation to the face, makes you feel good about yourself in general and can definitely increase your self confidence. … you will also appear more confident to others while you’re smiling.

2. Make eye contact

As well as smiling, meet the eyes of other people in the room. Give them your smile; you’ll almost certainly get one back, and being smiled at is a great self-confidence boost. Like smiling, eye contact shows people that you’re confident. Staring at your shoes or at the table reinforces your feelings of self-doubt and shyness. This tip is particularly useful for work-related situations – make eye contact with interviewers, or with the audience for your presentation:

Eye contact helps take the fear away from the speaker by getting the audience closer to him. Stress is mainly a result of being with the unknown and uncontrollable. Eye contact gives the speaker a picture of the reality that is the audience. It also helps in getting the attention of the audience.

3. Change your inner voice

Most of us have a critical inner voice that tells us we’re stupid, not good enough, that we’re too fat, thin, loud, quiet… Being able to change that inner voice is key to feeling self-confident on the inside, which will help you project your confidence to the world. Make your inner voice a supportive friend who knows you fully but also recognizes your talents and gifts, and wants you to make the best of yourself.

You still want to be able to hear the message, so don’t make it so chilled and laid back that you never take any notice of it. You can even choose 2, 3 or as many voices as you want for different occasions. Your voice should always support you, always be helpful, never aggressive and it never puts you down.

4. Forget other people’s standards

Whatever the situation that’s causing you a crisis of self-confidence, you can help yourself immeasurably by holding yourself to your own standards alone. Other people have different values from you, and however hard you try, you’ll never please everyone all of the time. Don’t worry that people will think you’re too overweight, underweight, too feckless, too boring, too frugal, too frivolous … hold yourself to your standards, not some imagined standards belonging to others. And remember that commonly-held values and standards vary from society to society: you don’t have to accept them just because the people around you do.

People’s values define what they want personally, but morals define what the society around those people want for them. Certain behaviors are considered to be desirable by a given society, while others are considered to be undesirable. For the most part, however, morals are not written in stone, or proclaimed by God above, but instead reflect local sensibilities. Different societies have different ideas about what is acceptable and not acceptable.

5. Make the most of your appearance

Even if you’ve only got a minute or two, duck into the bathroom to make sure you’re looking your best. Brushing your hair, giving your face a good wash, retouching your makeup, straightening your collar, checking you’ve not got a bit of parsley stuck between your teeth … all of these can make the difference between feeling confident in your physical appearance and feeling anxious about an imagined flaw.

Perfect your physical appearance: There’s no denying that one’s grooming plays a crucial role in building confidence. Although we know what’s on the inside is what truly counts, your physical appearance will be the first to create an impression.

英语原文(下)

6. Pray or meditate briefly

If you believe in a higher power, whether God, or another spiritual force, it can be a real boost to self-confidence to say a silent prayer. (You could also meditate instead of praying.) This helps you to take a step back from your immediate situation, to see the wider picture and to seek help from something or someone greater than yourself. This is a Christian prayer, but you could write something similar that fits your own religious beliefs or spiritual tradition:

Dear God, thank you that you love and accept me as I am … please help me to do the same … and help me to grow to become the person you want me to be so that my God-confidence and self-confidence will increase greatly—all for the glory of your name and not mine. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Amen.

7. Reframe

If something unexpected happens, it’s easy to let it knock your fledgling self-confidence. Perhaps you spill your drink on someone, you arrive late for the big meeting because of traffic problems, or someone who you wanted to speak to gives you a cold brush-off. Try to “reframe” the situation; put it in the best possible light: often, events are only negative because of the meaning we attach to them.

8. Find the next step

Keep your self-confidence up by taking gradual steps forwards, rather than freezing when faced with what seems like a giant leap. If you’re not sure what to do, look for one simple step that you can take to make progress. That might mean making eye contact at a party, introducing yourself to a stranger, breaking the ice in a meeting, or asking a question of your interviewers that shows your knowledge of their industry and company.

Start taking action even if you don’t have a clear idea of what needs to be done. Start moving towards your goal. Make corrections later.

9. Speak slowly

An easy tip for both seeming and being more self-confidence is to speak slowly. If you gabble, you’ll end up feeling worse as you know you’re being unclear to your audience or to the person you’re in a conversation with. Speaking slowly gives you the chance to think about what you’re going to say next. If you’re giving a talk or presentation, pause at the end of phrases and sentences to help your audience take in what you’ve said.

A person in authority, with authority, speaks slowly. It shows confidence. A person who feels that he isn’t worth listening to will speak quickly, because he doesn’t want to keep others waiting on something not worthy of listening to.

10. Contribute something

Have you ever sat through an entire class at college or meeting at work without saying a word? Have you had an evening out where friends chatted happily while you sat and stared silently at your drink? Chances are, you weren’t feeling very self-confident at the time – and you probably felt even worse afterwards. Whatever the situation you’re in, make an effort to contribute. Even if you don’t think you have much to say, your thoughts and perspective are valuable to those around you.

By making an effort to speak up at least once in every group discussion, you’ll become a better public speaker, more confident in your own thoughts, and recognized as a leader by your peers.

在长时间内提升自信的方法自然是数不胜数--但是，有时候我们却需要在短时间内来激发自己的自信。当然，任谁都不能够在焦急匆忙地重读一本自助手册，或者给你的人生教练通完电话之后就能够马上信心十足地投入重要工作会议，或开始大学课程或者参加一个满是素不相识之人的聚会。所以，下面就为大家介绍在数秒钟之内激发自信的10个秘诀......

秘诀之一：微笑

在你感到焦虑不安、缺乏信心之时，首当其冲的建议--非常简单--就是微笑！我们不只在心中充满喜悦和自信满满的时候才可以微笑--我们也可以用微笑来让自己放松。微笑这一行为与正向积极的情感如此紧密地联系在一起，所以微笑让人沮丧的几率微乎其微。

微笑绝不仅仅只是普通的面部表情。微笑，这一稀松平常的面部表情，可以释放使人感到轻松的快感荷尔蒙，可以增强面部血液循环，可以让人整体感觉愉快，当然也就能够真切的提升自信......所以，当你微笑的时候，在别人眼里你就会更加自信。

秘诀之二：保持目光接触

像保持微笑一样，也要保持与室内每个人都有目光接触。要先对他人微笑，这样至少会有一人回应你的微笑，这样的回应就会大大激发你的自信。微笑与目光接触都同样表明你非常自信。相反，一味地盯着自己的鞋子或桌脚则会让你显得更加犹豫不决甚至羞于开口。这一条建议在工作场合相当实用--求职者要与面试官保持目光接触，演讲者则要与你的听众保持目光接触。

保持目光接触可以拉近听众与演讲者之间的距离从而使其摆脱紧张及恐惧。而紧张及恐惧则往往是由于演讲者面对素不相识之人或无法掌控之势而产生的。目光的接触则可以为演讲者提供真实的情形--那就是听众。同时，目光的接触还有益于吸引观众注意力。

秘诀之三：改变内心靡靡之声

大多数人的内心都有这样的声音，那个声音告诉我们：我们愚蠢至极、优秀不足、体态肥胖、身材矮小、声如大钟、胆小内向......改变自己的内心之声才能够让自己从内心开始自信起来，这也同样有助于我们向众人展示自己的自信。要学会控制自己的内心之声，使其成为完全了解自己并能够认识到自己优点及长处的良师益友，促使自己达到最佳状态。

你应该还能够听到这样的声音，但不要使其过于冷淡或压制，而对此置若罔闻。你甚至可以选择适用于不同场合的第2、第3甚至更多的内心声音。但是这些声音都必须乐观积极、于你有益，而非过度自信，也不能使你灰心丧气。

秘诀之四：抛开他人价值认定标准

不管是什么情况所导致的自信危机，我们都可以进行最大限度的自我调节，使自己坚持自我价值认定标准。人与人的价值认定观是不同的，不管我们怎么努力，都不可能永久取悦身边每个人。对于他人的想法--诸如别人会认为我们过于肥胖、瘦弱无力、沉闷无聊、过分简朴、口气轻率等等......--根本不必在意。坚持自我价值认定标准，而不是臆想之中他人价值认定标准。且务必谨记大众价值认定标准会随着社会的改变而改变：我们完全没有必要因为自身周围公众所作所为而被迫接受其价值认定标准。

人们的价值观决定其自身价值需求，而道德水准则决定人类所构成之社会团体所需。而某些行为是特定社会团体所接受的，而有些行为则不被接受。然而，从很大程度上来说，道德不是铭刻于金石之上，也不是拜上帝所赐，而是当地行为感情的反映。不同的社会团体对所接纳之物也持不同观点。

秘诀之五：注重仪表

哪怕只有一两分钟的时间，也要冲进盥洗室里进行梳妆，以确保自己仪表最佳。梳梳头、洗洗脸、补补妆、拉拉衣领，检查一下是否有香芹残存在自己的牙缝中......这些简单动作都将消除我们对臆想缺陷的忧虑，而使自己在衣着容貌上看起来更加自信。

优化仪态仪表：毫无疑问，衣着打扮在建立自信的过程中起着决定性作用。尽管人人都知道内在美是至关重要的，但是也无可否认外在衣着打扮是第一印象的决定因素。

中文翻译(下)

秘诀之六：默默祈祷、沉思

如果你相信神灵：或者上帝，或者其他精神力量--那么默默祈祷神灵就可以成为提升自信的有效手段。（默默祈祷的同时也要沉思。）这将使我们即刻退出所处情形，眼观六路并向远远高于我们自身的神灵寻求帮助。下面是一个基督教徒的默默祈祷，我们可以参考并写出于之类似但适合我们自己宗教信念或神灵的祷告：

万能的上帝，感谢你的爱，感谢你的包容......请赐我你的力量......请赐我勇气让我成为你所期望之人，让我对你的崇拜及我个人之自信大大提升--一切荣耀均属于万能的上帝。感谢上帝的聆听，感谢上帝给我答案。阿门。

秘诀之七：换个角度看问题

始料不及发生之事往往很容易就将初步建立的自信击得粉碎。你可能不小心将饮料洒在别人身上，可能由于交通堵塞而导致重要会议迟到，或者你想要与之交谈的人却冷淡地拒绝了你等等。试着“换个角度”看问题；往最佳方向考虑：通常，事物之所以具有负面意义完全是由于我们把自己的主观思想强加于此。

秘诀之八：步步为营

步步为营来增强自信要远胜于飞跃时期的停滞不前。如果所处情况让你无所适从，不妨从简单做起--可能是聚会上与别人一个简单的眼神接触、把自己介绍给一个陌生人、打破会议僵局，或者是问面试官一个能够显示你了解他们行业及公司问题。

在茫然无措之时就开始有所行动，开始朝着自己的目标前进，即使有错，以后更正也不晚。

秘诀之九：放慢语速

让人看起来比较自信或更加自信的一个简单秘诀就是放慢语速。如果总是喋喋不休说个不停，那么你的听众或你与之交谈之人就会觉得你的讲话思路混乱、晦涩难懂。相反，如果放慢语速，你就有机会思考接下来要说的内容。如果你正在作报告或演说，那么就请在短语或句子结束之后稍事停顿，让听众有时间对你所讲的内容进行消化理解。

权威人士及威仪之人往往语速比较慢。这说明他们很自信。一个觉得自己所讲淡而无味之人往往说话犹如放机关枪一般，因为他不想让人们对淡而无味的讲话浪费时间。

秘诀之十：积极主动开口

你是否曾经在大学课堂或者工作会议上干坐着一言不发？你是否曾经在朋友晚上聚会兴高采烈的时刻而独自盯着自己的饮料发呆？肯定有，那时那地，你感觉到非常不自信--甚至事后会感觉更糟。从现在开始，不管处于哪种场合，试着主动一些吧。即使你觉得自己无话可说，但是说出来，你的观点与看法将使你周围的人获益匪浅呢。

如果每次小组讨论之时至少有一次能够大声表达自己的观点，那么你就会成为一个好的公众演说家，你的自信也会因此而增加，同时也会被你的同侪尊为团队领导。