We all have problems and barriers that block our progress, or prevent us from moving into new areas. Our problems might include the fear of speaking in front of a group, anxiety about math problems, or the reluctance to sound silly trying to speak a foreign language. It's natural to have problems and barriers, but sometimes they limit our experience so much, we get bored with life. When that happens, consider the following three ways of dealing with the problem or barrier.

One way is to pretend it doesn't exist. Avoid it, deny it, and lie about it. It's like turning your head the other way, putting on a fake grin, and saying, "See, there's really no problem at all. Everything is fine."

In addition to looking foolish, this approach leaves the barrier intact, and we keep bumping into it. So, a second approach is to fight the barrier, to struggle against it. This usually makes the barrier grow. It increases the barrier's magnitude. A person who is obsessed with weight might constantly worry about being fat. He might struggle with it every day, trying diet after diet. And the more he struggles, the bigger the problem gets.

The third alternative is to love the barrier. Accept it. Totally experience it. Tell the truth about it. Describe it in detail.

Applying this process is easier if you remember two ideas. First, loving a problem is not necessarily the same as enjoying it. Love in this sense means total and unconditional acceptance. Second, unconditional acceptance is not the same as unconditional surrender. Accepting a problem is different than giving up or escaping from it. Rather, this process involves escaping into the problem, diving into it headfirst, and getting to know it in detail.

Often the most effective solutions come, when we face a problem squarely, with eyes wide open, then we can move through the problem, instead of around it. When you are willing to love your problems, you drain them of much of their energy.