Word origin

今天的 Buzzword Breadcrumbing 是由 Bread和 Crumbing 组成的。

Breadcrumbs 我们都知道是a small fragment of bread，即面包屑的意思, 但是作动词的引申意义，你能猜到吗？

读过格林童话 《亨赛尔与格莱特》的小伙伴一定知道那个有名的撒面包屑的故事吧？

不同的是，童话故事里，被坏心眼继母送走的小女孩是为了找到回家的路而撒面包屑；现实生活中的 Breadcrumbing 更像是在撒饵“养鱼”。

为了引诱对方“上钩”，但又不想花费大力气，“养鱼”的“情场高手”往往会通过发送“聊骚”但没有实质承诺的短信来达到不可告人的目的。

很简单，就是“吊着你”的意思。

The breadcrumbs are the messages they send in order to keep you interested in them, even if they don’t actually like you or have any romantic interest in you.

"Breadcrumbs （面包屑）"是多么廉价的成本，没事就撒一点，让你以为他们对你感兴趣，哪怕实际上 Ta 们本意并非如此。

Breadcrumbers will send you sporadic messages, slide into your DMs here and there, or throw you a like on Instagram just frequently enough so you don’t lose interest, but not too much so the relationship actually moves forward.

Ta 们时不常的给你发消息，“吊着”你胃口；或朋友圈点赞，或发“私聊消息”。既不会太频繁，让你们的关系有进展；也不会太偶然，让你失去了对 Ta 的兴趣。

Breadcrumbers have a sense for when you’re close to moving on, so they seize the opportunity to leave you a trail of breadcrumbs — or brief flirtations — so you don’t forget about them quite yet.

“养鱼人”的手段可谓十分“高明”，当你好不容易下定决心要 “move on”了， ta 又会及时出现，给点甜头，说点情话，一顿操作猛如虎，“小鱼儿”就又乖乖留下了。

Breadcrumbing

"养鱼"

Breadcrumbing, “the act of sending out flirtatious, but non-committal text messages (ie "breadcrumbs") in order to lure a sexual partner without expending much effort” .

But why do people really breadcrumb?

但为什么有人热衷于“养鱼”呢？

Well, that's like asking why people are terrible — there are lots of possible reasons.

There’s breadcrumbing when you’ve broken up with someone but you don’t want to let them go;

有分了手却不想“放手”的；

there’s breadcrumbing as a way of keeping a dating prospect on ‘hold’；

有想暂停约会“进度条”的；

“Or there’s breadcrumbing as a kind of game: when a person is ‘not interested in you, but interested in themselves staying relevant to you.’

还有把感情当游戏，爱刷“存在感”的...

Breadcrumbers are often those who struggle to be truly alone, so need to have someone there on ‘standby,’ to boost their ego whilst they wait for a genuine love interest to come along.

“养鱼人”是那些害怕孤单，在没有遇到合适的人之前不愿意一个人“独行”，哪怕随便拉一个人来“凑数”也是好的，毕竟既刷了“存在”又满足了“自尊心”。

But whether people who breadcrumb are conscious of it or not, it’s still an emotionally manipulative dating tactic and one that can cause a lot of hurt to the person who’s being led on, with no hope of a relationship actually materializing.

不管“养鱼”的感情策略是有意为之还是无意之举，这种行为都是一种情感操纵，付出真心的一方在这段“画饼”的感情里，受到的伤害怕不止“亿点点”。

相关衍生

Caution: Signs of breadcrumbing

1. Ta 们的热情并非“一贯如常”

They don’t message you consistently.

You might be in contact a lot for a few days, and then a week or even longer can go by before they respond to you again.

热情时，你就是“宝”，输的液都是“想你的夜”；吊着你时，你就是“气”，各种冷暴力不待见的“空气”。

2. Ta 们的回复总是“顾左右而言他”

Their messages are ambiguous.

They’re always noncommittal and don’t like to get specific. They suggest you see each other ‘soon,’ but avoid making any set plans.

Ta 们害怕做出承诺，而且喜欢把你的问题“糊弄”过去。问到见面/约会的日期就说“尽快”，“在准备了”，“我尽量”，但其实千方百计地想办法不给你一个具体时间。

3. Ta 们的努力有点“虚情假意”

They don’t make any genuine effort to get to know you.

不费力气的花言巧语可以说的6到飞起，但凡要花点功夫去真正了解你的事情，Ta 们可就翘着腿枕着手表示“我没有时间”“我最近特忙”...

4. Ta 们的表现让你“患得患失”

They don’t make you feel good about yourself

Even if you feel good when they are actually texting you, that soon wears off and is replaced by worry about if you’ll hear from them again.

哪怕这一刻你们聊的火热，下一刻你就开始担心 ta 会失联；多条感情线同时进行的 ta 可能时刻准备好了对你开启冷暴力。

5. Ta 们甩的“一手好锅”

When you question the relationship, they make you feel guilty or responsible for any problems.

当你提出质疑，“我们这段关系到底算什么？”，Ta 们会十分老道地让你对自己提出这样的问题而感到羞愧和内疚。错，都是你的，ta 们永远占据着道德高地！

看到这里，真的感慨要时刻擦亮眼睛了！碰到上述迹象的，一定要及时抽身，不要深陷其中，做了“情场高手”鱼塘里那只无辜的小鱼啊。

新词拓展

Example 1:

-He texts you on and off but never asks you out. I think you might have been breadcrumbed!

Example 2:

-Some breadcrumbers might not be fully aware of the harm they can cause.