Hello again and welcome back to Across the Pond， episode number three （又到了英美大不同这个版块）. So we did two episodes already. The first one on out and about and second one on at workplace, today we're gonna talk about at home, for example like house parties or going to other people's places, inviting people in. So let's see how the British ideas and the American ideas can be different in this aspect. First of all let's say hello to our co hosts. Hello James.

Hello everyone.

Hello Anlan.

Hello everyone.

Today I have a lot of very interesting sometimes a bit strange questions for you. Are you guys ready? (yeah) Okay.So let's dive into the questions. The first question supposedly you are at a dinner party, you sit next to someone they claim they were once abducted by aliens. So being British, being American, how do you respond to that kind of claim? Let's have Anlan first.

Um. I would say that's the most important thing we would do is try not to make the other person feel embarrassed. So even though we will think that person was clearly insane or really really weird we wouldn't actually say that. We will say things that are that that sounds really interesting, what was it like? We'll try to have a conversation about it but we would secretly think this person is a bit of an idiot.

So but you are still smile and say oh that sounds interesting.

Yeah. But it would be too embarrassing if we kind of said oh no that's ridiculous, that's the stupidest thing I've ever heard.

Would you say that sometimes when British people say that sounds interesting. They are not truly interested and they also don't find that very interesting.

No, not really. You can say that uh that sounds really interesting is. it is more of a way of responding to what that person is saying.

What about James?

To be honest, it's fairly similar Anlan’s. We’ll just kind of engage them in the conversation we would talk to him and want to know more, would like to know their experience. And then later when they left we'll be like man that man's crazy (okay, good). But we would be polite and talk to them as normal.

Um. So as long as people are not offensive, I guess you do just pretend to be interested in whatever they're saying and let them go on. Right?

Yeah, we do.

Okay. Thank you. Now second question. Now we see more and more pet owners. So supposedly someone comes to visit at your home and they bring their dog who starts chewing up your brand new carpet being American being British. What would you do? Let's have James first.

Okay. We would definitely ask them to take the dog outside. And usually the dog owner would apologize profusely and offer to pay for any damages. Some Americans will file a lawsuit.

Okay. Even if this is like a friend or a neighbor you'll file lawsuit.

Most likely that's just gonna end your friendship with them and then you'll spread it around to everyone you know when might ostracize a person from the community. (okay) But I know people won't bring their dogs unless they have permission to bring their dogs.

And a lot of the dogs you have in the states are big dogs, aren't they?

Yeah they can be.

Okay. What about Anlan?

I would say that in England we would also be very very angry. But how we will go about it is slightly different. We would say something like oh you know that that your dog seems to really like my carpet or we'll try to make a joke to point out to that person what the dog is doing. And hopefully that person would apologize profusely and offer to pay for any damage.

So you'll be sarcastic you sarcasm.

Well it's not Christmas sarcasm. We would use jokes in this case.Remember that sarcasm is something that we're trying to be use humor for negative purposes. So in this we're trying to use humor to show something in a way that is not as direct.

I think this situation to both of you. I think most people if they are decent human being they would apologize. it's just I don't really know if everyone will offer to pay for the damage. But they definitely will try to stop their dogs and try to apologize.

I think so. I think most people would actually not allow their dog to do that. But the main thing is obviously to stop them from doing it anymore.

But is it common in the UK for people to go to someone else's house for a visit and then they take their dog actually indoors?

Only if they have the permission of the person whose house you're visiting. (that make sense) And uh it really does depend and also for me I'm not really sure what I would do because I've never had a dog.

Um. Okay. So let's move on. Thank you Anlan. The next question is you are having a long anticipated lie in one Sunday morning when your neighbor decides to have a drill and hammer session so they are making a lot of noise banging on the wall. Obviously it's affecting you being British being American. What would you do? First of all, let's have Anlan.

Oh uh it was a Sunday morning. First of all people wouldn't really do that. There was the understanding that you wouldn't do that too early in the morning. Uh but if it was the case we might actually say something we might actually bang on the wall or something like that. In this type of situation. I would say British people would be somewhat direct.

Would you actually knock on their door to tell them to stop?

We would knock on the wall.

What if they well but if it's very loud they probably wouldn't hear you.

Then we would probably go round to their house and just ask them politely to stop. In this, I would say British people would be quite do it because anyone that does that that's very very inconsiderate behavior and that's purposely disturbing other people um in a few episodes I've been saying about how British people don't like to inconvenience other people and I would say if people are directly inconvenience in us in a very obvious way then we would probably be more direct.

You pushed basically when push comes to shaft really that you have to step up for your own right. But how early is too early. You said if it's very early.

I would say probably around nine o'clock or so if people are lying in on the Sunday there probably not waking up to nine or even ten o'clock at sometimes.

Ok. So after nine o'clock it should be okay. (Yeah) Okay. What about James?

This is a pretty unusual situation because most Americans live in detached houses. So if your neighbours are making noise in their house or not, you're not gonna hear them. And also Sunday morning lots of people go to church so there's quite a bit of commotion Sunday morning. So sleeping on Sunday is less common. And Americans especially in the warmer weather, they'll get up earlier, start cutting the grass at eight o'clock in the morning and things like this.

So it’s completely different in terms of... (yeah) so this is more perhaps more UK specific question. What if you live in an apartment.

It would be fairly similar to the UK then you would knock on the wall but you might even go over there to ask them to stop. And said it's very rude to be making lots of noise too early in the morning.

And and how early is too early in America?

Before eight.

Before eight. Ok. Alright. Thank you. Thank you James. it does seem like people have very different schedule when James was saying that a lot of Americans would actually go to church on Sunday morning so they wouldn't really mind because they're not really at home to hear that noise. All right. Next question you organize a big celebratory barbecue in the middle of the summer. This is very British but of course middle of the summer you still have pouring down rain. What would you do since this is more UK specific let's ask Anlan first.

Oh, that's could be quite easy. We just continue.

Right in the rain?

Absolutely. If it's the case where it is raining but you've invited everyone over to have a barbecue then you just carry on. You'll probably do it under umbrellas or you'd have it inside. But the barbecue itself will still be outside. So there will probably be the host who's making burgers and sorting out the barbecue. They're still outside in the rain.

And how likely is this to happen?

In the UK? Incredibly likely.

And then you just carry on, keep calm and carry on barbecuing.

Pretty much yeah. it's always seen as a bit of a joke in the UK. If it is raining heavenly or you want to have a barbecue then generally it will rain.

You still do have quite a bit of rain in the summer. Um, thank you. Thank you. Anlan. What about James?

Thanks. Yeah. This is another thing that's almost completely unheard of, especially in the summer.

Do you not have a lot of rain?

Depends on the part of the country. In most places, the summertime is fairly dry even in places like Seattle, which is known for rain. In the summer, it doesn't rain. So you just barbecue and a lot of places they'll have a lot of people on like either kind of a tense like open for their barbecue. So even if you won't be in the rain or they have over hanged patios. So the patios are covered they just barbecue underneath that. So rains no big deal.

Okay. it's nice to know that both sides will carry on barbecuing despite the rain. Okay next question. Your new neighbor asks if you'd like to pop in for a cup of tea or cup of coffee being British or being American. What would you do? Um. How likely are you to accept an invitation from your new neighbor? Let's get James first.

Oh Americans would most definitely accept. In fact it would be customary that I would welcome the new neighbor to the neighborhood and bring them a house warming gift. So this is a very normal situation.

Would you say that in America the community like local communities are quite tight like quite close?

In a big city? Maybe not so much. But in suburbs and towns, definitely.

You do see it in TV shows or in movies. You see someone moves in into the neighborhood and then you see neighbours knocking on their door bringing their pie or some dessert and say oh try my famous pie or dessert. Is that realistic?

Yeah. it is that does happen in real life. I've done that personally.

Okay would you bring food or just some other sort of gifts?

Food, flowers, cake, cookies, things like that. Yeah.

But if I move in let's say if I live in the united states or just moved into a new neighborhood, the new comer, do I need to go around and say hi to everyone?

You don't need to do that. Some people will do that but it's not, you don't have to.

Then that's not seen as rude if I don't.

Not really.

Okay nice to know. Let's get Anlan.

I would say in the UK if you're in a smaller town or village then is quite customary is quite ordinary to go round and introduce yourself. Uh less so in big cities. Um I come from London and I don't think people really do that.

I guess it's because the mobility in big cities is very high and people are more transient.

Well pretty much yeah and also is I think it's anywhere the same as any big city, people are a little bit more isolated. So in this type of situation if it was me I would go along but I probably not stayed for too long.

Just basically to be polite because people invite you. Would you invite them back to your place?

Uh if I like them. Yeah. If I didn't then probably I'll try to avoid them.

Okay I've heard this before saying that if a British person says to you, you should definitely come around for a cup of tea. If they don't give you an actual time. They're just being polite. It's not a real invitation. Is that correct?

Pretty much. Yeah. If you say you really should come over for a cup of tea or come over anytime then that generally means that it's not serious. But if ...

Americans do the same thing.

Being polite? Just being polite.

It's like we should get dinner sometime. Let’s get a coffee sometimes, no specific date.

So a serious invitation would you say in both American and British culture is when people actually set the date at a time say for example next Wednesday shall we do this or next week shall we do it?

Yeah. Exactly.

I think it's the same in Chinese as well. If we say 改天meaning like sometime in the future. We don't truly mean it. We probably just saying it in passing saying it as a way of being polite. Cultures are not really that different sometimes. Since we have quite a few questions we're going to split this discussion into two episodes. We're gonna wrap up now and continue this in the next episode. In the meantime. Feel free to share your answers to these questions and your own perspective with us in the comment section until next time. Bye.