No matter how hard you might try, you can't just flip a switch when you step into the office and turn your emotions off.
无论你多么努力尝试，踏入办公室时自己的情绪都不能像开关一样轻易关上。
Feeling feelings is part of being human.
感觉自己的情绪是人的一部分。
A pervasive myth exists that emotions don't belong at work,
情感不属于工作，这是一种普遍的神话，
and this often leads us to mistakenly equate professionalism with being stoic or even cold.
这常常使我们错误地将专业性等同于坚忍甚至是冷漠。
But research shows that in the moments when our colleagues drop their glossy professional presentation,
但研究表明，当我们的同事放弃他们华丽的专业演讲时，
we're actually much more likely to believe what they're telling us.
我们实际上更有可能相信他们说的话。
We feel connected to the people around us.
我们感觉与周围的人联系在一起。
We try harder, we perform better and we're just generally kinder.
我们会更加努力，表现更好，而且我们通常会更加友善。
So it's about time that we learn how to embrace emotion at work.
因此，现在是我们学习如何在工作中表达情感的时候了。
Now, that's not to say you should suddenly become a feelings fire hose.
现在，这并不意味着你应该突然成为情感消防水带。
A line exists between sharing, which builds trust, and oversharing, which destroys it.
共享能建立信任，而过度共享则破坏信任。
If you suddenly let your feelings run wild at work and give people far more information than they bargained for,
两者之间存在界限，如果你突然在工作中过度地表达自己的情绪，并给人们提供了远远超出他们需要的信息，
you make everyone around you uncomfortable and you also undermine yourself.
那么你会使周围的每个人都不舒服，也在损害你自己。
You're more likely to be seen as weak or lacking self awareness, so, great to say you weren't feeling well last night
你更有可能被视为脆弱或缺乏自我意识，因此，你可以说你昨晚身体不适，
you don't need to go into every lurid detail about how you got reacquainted with your half-digested dinner.
而无需深入了解你对已经消化了一半的晚餐的重新认识。
So there's a wide spectrum of emotional expression.
因此，情感表达有很大的范围。
On one hand, you have under-emoters, or people who have a hard time talking about their feelings,
一方面，有些人情绪低落，很难谈论自己的感受，
and on the other end are over-emoters, those who constantly share everything that's going on inside,
另一方面，情绪过高的人则不断分享内部发生的一切，
and neither of these make for a healthy workplace.
这两类人都不适合健康的工作场所。
So what's the balance between these two extremes?
那么，这两个极端之间的平衡点是什么？
It's something called selective vulnerability.
这就是所谓的选择性脆弱。
Selective vulnerability is opening up
选择性脆弱是开放的，
while still prioritizing stability and psychological safety, both for you and for your colleagues.
同时优先考虑你和同事的稳定性和心理安全。
Luckily, anyone can learn to be selectively vulnerable, with practice.
幸运的是，任何人都可以通过练习来学会选择性脆弱。
Here are four ways to get started.
有下面四种入门方法。
First, flag your feelings without becoming emotionally leaky.
首先，在保持情绪没有泄漏的情况下标记你的感受。
Bad moods are contagious, and even if you're not vocalizing what you're feeling,
不良情绪会传染，即使你没有表达自己的感受，
chances are your body language or your expressions are a dead giveaway.
你的肢体语言或表情也有可能将其泄露出去。
So if you are crossing your arms or hammering on your keyboard, your coworkers are going to know you're upset.
因此，如果你双臂交叉或敲打键盘，你的同事会知道你很沮丧。

And if you don't say anything, they might start to think it's about them and get worried.
如果你不说话，他们可能会认为是因为他们而感到担心。
So if you are reacting to a non-work-related event, so traffic for example, just flag it.
因此，如果你对与工作无关的事做出反应，例如交通，只需对其进行标记。
You don't need to go into detail.
你不需要详细介绍。
You can say something as simple as "I'm having a bad morning. It has nothing to do with you."
你可以简单地说，例如，“我今天早上心情很糟糕，但这与你无关。”
Now if it's a work-related event that's causing you to feel strong emotions, that brings us to point number two.
那么，如果这是一个与工作相关的事，使你产生了强烈的情绪，那就指向我们的第二点。
Try to understand the need behind your emotion, and then address that need.
尝试了解情绪背后的需求，然后解决该需求。
If you suddenly start to find everyone around you irritating, sit back and reflect on that.
如果你突然发现周围的每个人都很烦，坐回去反思。
And it might be that you're irritable because you're anxious,
你烦躁因为你很着急，
and you're anxious because you're worried about hitting a looming deadline.
你着急因为担心眉睫的截止日期。
And in that case, you can go back to your team to address that need and say something like,
这种情况下，你可以返回团队来解决这个需求，然后说，
"I want to make sure I get everything done ahead of the deadline.
“我想确保在截止日期之前完成所有工作。
Can you help me put together a realistic plan to do that?"
你能帮我制定一个切实可行的计划吗？”
If you're thinking of sharing, try and put yourself in the other person's shoes.
如果你正在考虑共享，请尝试从他人的角度来思考。
So if what you're about to say would help you feel more supported and better understand the situation, then go ahead and share it.
因此，如果你要说的话会帮助您感受到更多的支持并更好地了解情况，请继续分享。
But if it gives you any kind of pause, you might want to leave it out.
但是如果它给你带来的是某种程度的暂停，你就可能要忽略它。
And finally, read the room and provide a path forward.
最后，观察整个房间并提供前进的道路。
If everyone on your team has been pulling long hours,
如果团队中的每个人都长时间工作，
and you notice that one of your colleagues seems particularly deflated or anxious,
而你发现一位同事看上去特别沮丧或焦虑，
you can acknowledge that and show some empathy, but then try to give them something actionable that they could hold on to.
你可以承认这一点并表示同情，然后尝试给他们一些可实施的活动让他们坚持下去。
And in this case, you could suggest that you go to your manager
在这种情况下，你可以建议去找经理，
and ask that your weekly meeting be pushed back a day so you both have more time to work.
要求将每周例会推迟一天，以便你们俩都有更多时间去工作。
You're showing you're invested in their success, but also that you care about their well-being.
你表现出自己为他们的成功投入了精力，同时你也关心他们的幸福。
When we can be honest about what we feel, and freely suggest ideas,
当我们诚实面对自己的感觉，自由地提出想法，
make mistakes and just not have to hide every piece of who we are,
犯错误并不必隐瞒我们的任何一面时，
we're much more likely to stay at the company for a long time.
我们更有可能会长期留在公司。
We're also happier and more productive.
我们也会更快乐，工作更有成效。
So take a moment to reflect on the emotional expression that you bring to work each day.
因此，花点时间思考一下你每天的工作情感。
And if you are prone to oversharing, try editing.
如果你倾向于过度共享，请尝试进行改变。
And if you're a little bit more reserved,
如果你有一点点保守，
look for moments when you can open up to your colleagues and be a bit vulnerable.
请寻找机会向同事敞开心扉，展示一点点脆弱。
And chances are, there will be a big difference in how people respond to you.
很有可能的是，人们对你的反应会有很大的不同。
And selective vulnerability might just become one of your most valuable tools.
而选择性脆弱可能会成为你最有价值的工具之一。