Now doing a show like this every night. We read a lot of headlines.
我们在节目中经常读新闻标题
But headlines don't always tell you what the story is.
但是标题并不总是告诉你发生了什么故事
So we thought we would help clear things up with this segment, this is honest headlines.
所以我们在这个板块来跟大家解释 现在是诚实标题
This first headline comes from fox news.
第一条来自福克斯新闻
And it reads snake slithers out of toilet, bites florida man. That is the headline.
蛇爬出厕所 咬了佛罗里达人 这是原标题
The honest headline should have read this anaconda does want some.
诚实的标题应该是 这条蟒蛇想要了
Here's a headline from reuters, it says self-driving truck begin mail delivery test for u.s. Postal service. That is the headline.
这个来自路透社 自动驾驶卡车开始为美国邮政服务进行邮件投递测试 这是原标题
The honest headline should have read yeah, that will beat email.
诚实标题应该是 这会打败电子邮件
Here is one from fox news. And it reads woman accused of urinating on potatoes at walmart turns herself in.
下面一条来自福克斯新闻 沃尔玛被指控对土豆撒尿的妇女自首
That's the headline. The honest headline should have read i say potato she says pee-tato.
这是原标题 诚实标题应该是 我念土豆土豆 她尿土豆土豆
How do you getting arrested, imagine turning yourself in and having to go back to your friends,
你是怎么因为这件事情逮捕的 想象一下你自首了 然后还得面对你的朋友
What happened. I turned myself in. Where were you. I went to a police station. I turned myself in.
发生什么事了 我自首了 你在哪里 我去了警局 我自首了
What did you do? I-- i uh, i was peeing on the potatoes at walmart.
你做了什么 我在沃尔玛的土豆上放水了
There is a rest room right there. Yeah, no, i know that now.
那有休息室啊 是的 我现在已经知道了
This next headline comes from CNN. It reads cher-themed suite opens at new york city sofitel hotel. That is the headline.
下一条来自CNN 以音乐剧雪儿秀为主题的套房在纽约索菲特酒店开业 这是原标题
The honest headline should have read if i could turn down services.
诚实标题应该是 如果我能拒绝房间服务
Can you do a cher impression? I can't do it.
你能模仿雪儿秀的音乐吗 我做不到
If i could turn back time. I don't know.
假如时光倒流 我也不懂
If i could turn back time. Like potato in the back of your throat.
假如时光倒流 就像你喉咙后面放了一个土豆
If i could turn back time. There you go. That's it, i found it.
假如时光倒流 666 就是这样 我知道了
If i could turn back time. There you go. That's it, that's it.
假如时光倒流 太溜了 就是这样

This next headline comes from the BBC. And it reads humann cheese created using bacteria from celebrity.
下一则新闻来自BBC 用名人身上的细菌创造出了名人奶酪
That is the headline. The honest headline should have read brie larson.
原标题是这个 诚实的标题应该是 布丽·拉尔森
This headline comes from the Independence. And it reads women better with money than men study claims.
这一条来自独立报 研究称 女性比男性更会理财
That is the headline. The honest headline should have said men, 50 bucks says they aren't.
原标题是这个 诚实的标题应该是 男人说 我赌50块说女人理财不如男人
And finally here is one from CBS. From CBS.
最后一条来自CBS 是CBS
And it reads louis vuitton releases 2,000 dollar ping pong set.
路易威登发布了2000美元的乒乓球套装
That is the headline. The honest headline should have read ping pong no longer just for dorks, now for bleep too.
原标题是这个 诚实的标题应该是 乒乓不再只适合呆子 也适合混蛋了
That was honest headlines. When we come back billy porter and kirsten dunst are going to be here.
这就是诚实标题 待会回来 比利·波特和柯尔斯顿·邓斯特将来到节目现场