(单词翻译:单击)
Many horror stories exist out there that stem from one common cause, manipulation.
很多恐怖故事都源于某一个共同的原因—操纵。
Even the word has a scary slimy tone to it, but have no fear psych2goer.
即便这个词有一种恐怖可怕的意味，但是不要怕。
There are measures you can take to protect yourself. Here are 10 signs you're being manipulated.
你可以采取一些措施保护自己。以下是你被人操控的10种迹象。
1. They constantly make you prove yourself.
1. 他们总是让你证明自己。
They never respect your boundaries and always ask for your love and attention.
他们从不尊重你的界限，总是要求你的爱和注意。
They are usually impatient, demanding and selfish.
他们通常没有耐心、严苛且自私。
You often overextend yourself because you fear upsetting or letting them down.
通常你都会承担过多的责任，因为你害怕让他们烦恼或失望。
They never let you off the hook and guilt, trap you into doing things for them, even if it's inconvenient for your schedule.
他们让你摆脱不了困境和内疚，让你为他们服务，即便在你不方便的时候。
2. They communicate passive-aggressively.
2. 他们用消极的方式沟通。
Manipulators are rarely ever direct with their sly and cunning behavior.
操控者很少会直接展现自己狡猾诡秘的行为。
They prefer to communicate passive-aggressively and won't hesitate to talk about you behind your back.
他们喜欢用消极的方式沟通，在背后说你坏话也毫不犹豫。
This protects their good guy or good girl image. If they also turn to a middleman to communicate for them,
这样可以保护他们好男孩或好女孩的形象。如果他们还成了沟通的中间人，
this shows they are afraid to confront you personally.
那么这是因为他们害怕私下和你对峙。
Manipulators desire control which means they have a hard time facing their fears because it means letting go.
操控者渴望控制权，这意味着他们害怕面对他们的恐惧，因为这意味着放手。
3. They gaslight you. Gaslighting is a manipulative technique that makes you feel like you can't rely on your own memory anymore.
3. 煤气灯操纵。煤气灯操纵是一种操控技巧，让你觉得你再也不能相信自己的记忆。
When someone gaslights you, they will pretend like they didn't say something that hurt you in the past.
当某人用这种方法操控你时，他们会假装自己之前没说过任何伤害你的话。
They will often twist the truth and reinvent it which makes you question your sanity.
他们经常歪曲事实，编造事实让你质疑自己的理智。
Gaslighting isn't just manipulative. It's a form of serious abuse that is dangerous.
煤气灯操纵并不仅仅是操控，还是一种严重的虐待，非常危险。
To learn more about it. Check out our video 10 Daslighting Signs in an Abusive Relationship.
想了解更多，前去观看我们的视频《虐待关系中的10种煤气灯操纵迹象》。
4. They're always just joking.
4. 他们总是说“只是开玩笑而已”。
It might seem harmless at first but manipulators can take their jokes too far that end up hurting you.
起初这或许看似无害，但是操控者玩笑开的太过，结果会伤害到你。
When you stand up for yourself and confront them about it,
当你为自己说话，与他们对峙的时候，
they will try to brush it off and tell you that you're being too sensitive.
他们或为自己辩解，说你太敏感了。
Manipulators won't mind embarrassing you in public either.
操控者不介意在公开场合让你尴尬。
This gives them an audience and they're experts at getting others to laugh at you with their jokes.
这让他们获得观众，他们是利用笑话让别人嘲笑你的专家。
When you tell them to cut it out, they'll tell you that you're either making a scene or being a party pooper.
当你让他们闭嘴时，他们会说你在当众大吵大闹或是说你让人扫兴。
5. They play the victim card.
5.他们总扮演受害者。
When the two of you fight, manipulators will always make you feel like it's your fault.
你们争吵的时候，操控者总会让你觉得都是你的错。
They try to play the innocent victim who is badly hurt by your words and actions.
他们总试图扮演无辜的受害者，被你的言辞和行为所伤害。
Manipulators are experts at looking like helpless small creatures.
操控者是扮无辜装弱小的专家。
They never believe they've done anything wrong. As a result, you find yourself apologizing all the time
他们从不相信自己有什么过错。因此，你会发现自己一直在道歉，
because they avoid taking responsibility for their own mistakes.
因为他们会避免为自己的错误承担责任。
6. They kill you with kindness.
6. 他们会用好意杀死你。
Manipulators will try to be the nice guy or nice girl and do favors for you that make you feel pressured to return them.
操控者会装成一个好男孩或好女孩，给你帮助，迫使你觉得应该回报他们。
On the surface, they will buy you gifts or give you compliments,
表面上，他们会给你买小礼物或赞美你，
but then the next time you guys hang out, they might hint at wanting an expensive watch that's out of their budget.
但是下一次你们出去玩时，他们可能就会暗示想要一个很贵的手表，但是他们没钱买。
In reality, they were only kind to you because they had other motives.
实际上，他们对你好是因为他们有其他的动机。
7. They make your problems feel small. Manipulators always want the spotlight.
7. 他们缩小你的问题。操控者总是想要引起大家的注意。
If you ever complain about a bad day you're having or all the difficult situations you're going through
如果你在抱怨今天过得不顺利或是你所经历的困境，
they will play the comparison game and minimize them by talking about their problems.
他们就会玩比较游戏，通过谈论他们自己的问题而缩小你的困境。
For instance, if you complain about a sunburn you got, they might talk about the aches and pains they got from exercising.
比如，如果你抱怨你被晒黑了，他们就会谈起自己运动时的酸痛。
Manipulators do everything they can to get the attention they want, even if it means buying your pity.
操控者会尽一切努力获得他们想要的关注，即使这意味着博取你的同情。
8. They emphasize their calm, cool and collected side.
8. 他们强调自己冷静镇定的一面。
If you express your anger and frustrations openly, manipulators might keep calm just to make you feel like you're overreacting.
如果你公开表达自己的愤怒和沮丧，操控者会保持冷静，只为了让你感觉自己的过度反应。
This technique makes them feel superior over you because they know you look like you're being dramatic while they stay cool and detached.
这个技巧让他们有一种优越感，因为他们知道当他们保持镇定超然的时候，会让你看起来很悲剧。
They will be dismissive of your emotions and often refuse to talk to you until you've sorted your feelings out.
他们会蔑视你的情感，并总是拒绝和你交谈，除非你清理自己的感情。
9. They use emotional blackmail.
9. 他们利用情感勒索。
If they tell you that they will die or harm themselves if you leave or break up with them,
如果他们告诉你，如果你离开或和他们分手的话，他们会死或会伤害自己，
then they are trying to gain control by threatening to hurt themselves.
那么他们是在通过威胁伤害自己来获取操控权。
This leaves you in a highly uncomfortable and unfair position where you feel obligated to stay against your own will.
这种做法将你置于一种极度不适不公平的位子，你会觉得自己有义务违背自己的意愿。
Not only is this toxic, but it risks their own health on the line.
这样不仅有害健康，还是在拿自己的健康开玩笑。
It's best to contact the police before things get out of hand.
最好是在事情失控之前联系警察。
10. They take advantage of your trusting and sensitive nature.
10. 他们利用你的信任和敏感特征。
Manipulators often target insecure, sensitive and overly trusting individuals.
操控者经常以那些缺乏安全感、容易轻信别人的人为目标。
If you're usually told by others that you're too nice or tend to wear your heart on your sleeve,
如果别人经常说你太善良或是太感情外露，
take precaution and keep your vulnerability at bay.
那么要注意啦不要让你的弱点显露出来。
Manipulators are skillful at spotting people pleasers who often put their needs on hold to take care of others first.
操控者很擅长发现讨好者，讨好者总是将别人的需求放在第一位。
Initially, it might seem like they care about you when they give you attention
起初，他们似乎是关心你，
but later down the road, they'll start to use you for their own benefits.
一段时间之后，他们就开始为了自己的利益而利用你。
It's their subtle way of luring you into their trap. So watch out.
这是他们引你上钩的狡猾方式。所以要留心啦！
Do you think you're being manipulated? Please share your thoughts with us below.
你觉得自己被操控了么？请在下方评论告知。
Also, don't forget to subscribe for more content from sight to go and check out our patreon. Thanks for Watching.
还有不要忘记订阅我们观看更多内容并点击观看我们的patreon账号。感谢收看。
