Ladies and gentlemen, the biggest news today,
女士们先生们 今天发生了一件大事
I don't know if you saw this story, a man used a fake bomb to hijack an Egypt air flight, right.
不知道你们看到这条新闻没有 一位男士手持假炸弹劫持了一架埃及客机
And here's the crazy part—
神奇的是——
it was all an attempt to deliver a love letter to his ex-wife who he was trying to win back. Yeah.
这位男性的目的仅仅是想向他的前妻递一封情书来挽回她 没错
So relax, everyone!
所以大家 放轻松
It's not terrorism, just good old stalking and harassment!
这不是恐怖事件 只是老生常谈的尾随和性骚扰的故事
I mean I don't know about you,
不知道你们对此事有什么看法
but to me it looks like someone forgot to check his emotional baggage.
反正我是觉得像是有人没做好情绪管理
But, really, this is just like a romantic comedy.
但这件事听起来又像是一个爱情喜剧
Like the man—the man was like, I'm just a hijacker,
这位男士说 我劫持了一架飞机
standing in front of his hostages, asking them to deliver this letter to my ex.
站在人质面前 让他们向我的前妻递一封情书
But this guy was really feeling bad about his breakup.
分手这件事对这个人打击真的很大

Cops knew he wasn't your average terrorist when a list of his demands included sweat pants, ice cream and an Adele C.D.
当警察看到这个人提出的要求是一条运动长裤 冰淇淋 和阿黛尔的唱片时 就明白这不是个一般的恐怖分子
But honestly I feel sorry for this guy.
但我还真的为这个人感到抱歉
I feel like I want to give him some advice and I want to say to him,
我想给他一些建议 我想说 如果为了挽回婚姻
if you have to hijack a plane, she's just not that into you.
你要做到劫机这个地步 说明她其实没那么爱你
This has to be one of the most dramatic breakups in history.
这一定会成为历史上最浪漫的分手
I mean Vincent van Gogh cut his ear off to send to a girl,
为了爱情 梵高把自己的耳朵割下来 送给那个女孩
and if he heard this story, he would be like—well, he wouldn't have heard this story...
如果梵高能听到这个故事 他一定会——好吧 他听不到这个故事了
If you're wondering how the other people on the plane were dealing with this,
如果你想问飞机上的其他人怎么看这个事件
apparently, it wasn't as traumatic as it seems
很明显 并没有看起来那么可怕
because a man on the plane actually took a selfie with the hijacker, right?
因为飞机上的另一名男子还跟劫机的人拍了一张自拍
Absolutely true. There they are right there.
真的 就是这张
You can just imagine everyone on the plane thought this passenger was going to be some kind of hero.
试想一下 飞机上的其他人一定把他当成了英雄
He's like, guys, I'm going up there, watch my back.
他说 大家 我要过去了 你们帮我看着背后
They're, like, really? You're staking him out?
其他乘客说 真的吗 你要把他从飞机上弄出去吗
He's, like, no, I'm going to get a selfie.
他说 不 我只是去跟他合个影
We're thankful everyone got off the plane safely and everyone was fine.
值得庆幸的是 飞机上所有乘客最终平安无事
The craziest part was the hijacking worked.
而神奇的部分在于 事实证明劫机是有效的
He and his wife got back together and they're very much in love again.
他跟妻子重归于好 现在两个人过着如胶似漆的生活
I'm kidding! He's going to prison forever!
开玩笑的 他恐怕要一辈子待在监狱出不来了