Hello and welcome to the late late show.
大家好 欢迎来到深夜秀
Thank you so much for being here! Thank you!
感谢你们的到来 谢谢
Cheers, guys. Thank you so much!
谢谢
Ladies and gentlemen, if you're watching this right now,
女士们先生们 如果你现在在收看我们节目
we are entering hour 26 of Ted Cruz's victory speech from the Iowa Caucus last night.
现在距离爱荷华州昨晚的党团会议上 泰德·科鲁兹的获胜宣言已经过去了26个小时
Did you sit through it?
你们看完了吗 哇
Wow! Ted Cruz won first place and gave a 32-minute speech.
泰德·科鲁兹得了第一 之后做了一个32分钟的演讲
I mean, to be fair, 31 of those minutes were just people shouting. Really? Him?!
说实话 其中31分钟下面的人都一直在喊 啥 他赢了
This guy?
这个人吗
We're going with this guy?
我们选了这个人吗
We're kidding! I did it as a joke!
我开玩笑的

Ted Cruz's victory last night raises a lot of questions, it does like
昨晚泰德·科鲁兹的获胜引出了一系列问题
One: Can he keep this momentum going into New Hampshire?
一：他在新罕布什尔州还能保持这样的势头吗
And two: Just how much does it cost to move to Canada?
二：移民到加拿大多少钱
But it's pretty crazy, after months of hype and bluster and calling everyone else losers,
但最令人难以置信的是 在大肆宣扬鼓吹自己好几个月 大喊竞争对手是垃圾时
Donald Trump came in second place.
唐纳德·特朗普得了第二
Now to make matters worse, oh, you maverick. Look at this guy.
更可怕的是 你这人 镜头给他一下
This guy just went straight big. Just got a round of applause.
这个人声音好大 赢了一圈掌声
I knew that because anyone wearing a pink gingham shirt.
你穿的这身粉色格纹棉布衬衫
That level of chino knows where it's at.
可真是够显眼的哈
If I do it again, you want to try a bit harder? Yeah, let's go.
我在说一次 你声音再大点 行吗 来
Donald Trump came in second place. Woo-hoo!
唐纳德·特朗普的了第二 哇哦
Now, to make matters worse, people have unearthed this tweet from 2013 where Donald Trump tweeted:
更可怕的是 有网友翻出了特朗普2013年的一条推特上面写道：
Nobody remembers who came in second.
不会有人记得第二名
Which was famously said by Walter Hagen.
说这句话的是个名人 叫瓦尔特·哈根
And if anyone can tell you who won't be remembered, it's Walter Hagen.
如果有人告诉你 不会有人记得的那个人是谁 是瓦尔特·哈根
Seriously, who is Walter Hagan?
讲真 瓦尔特·哈根是谁
Do you know? I don't know.
你知道吗 反正我不知道
But Donald Trump, he really does have egg on his face right now, doesn't he?
但唐纳德·特朗普现在真的是各种招骂
Which pairs nicely with the hash browns on the top of his head.
他的头上像是端正的放着一块土豆饼
Thank you. Yeah, we did it. Yeah, we did it.
谢谢 谢谢 我们成功了
We made a Trump hair joke.
我们终于开了一个关于特朗普头发的玩笑了
It is not a big deal. It's a Trump hair joke.
没什么 就是关于他的头发而已
We've never done one before. It is the first one, we've never done.
我们之前没说过 这是第一次 之前从来没有
Don't give us a hard time about it.
不要让我们难做啊
But the real star of the night wasn't Ted Cruz, or Donald Trump or Hillary Clinton.
但那天晚上真正的焦点不是他的·科鲁兹 也不是唐纳德·特朗普或希拉里·克林顿
It was a college kid with stickers on his face. Take a look.
是个脸上贴了贴纸的男孩 一起来看
Substantive conversations that the democratic party could have. And I am thrilled.
民主党应有的实质性对话 我很激动
Oh to be young again.
感觉像又回到了年轻的时候
You remember those care free days of putting stickers on your face,
你们还记得那些无忧无虑的日子吗 脸上贴着贴纸
take molly and hitting the Iowa Caucus?
像个娘娘腔一样 大闹爱荷华党团会议现场
But you know, like people say Millennials are a generation in crisis. Right? They do.
很多人说00后是面临着危机的一代
But then you see this and you go, yeah, they probably are.
但是 看到这个 你可能会觉得 嗯 也许吧
But some people thought him dancing during her celebration was offensive
有些人说他在希拉里庆祝时跳舞很不合适
and some say it made him look like a jerk.
也有人说显得很蠢
But we noticed if you put tech no music underneath that, everyone else looks like a jerk.
但是我们发现 如果你换个背景音乐 其他人都显得很蠢
We stand with you, sticker boy! We do!
我们支持你 贴纸男孩 真的