How many times have you used the word "awesome" today? Once? Twice? Seventeen times?
今天你们用了多少次“棒极了”这个词？一次？两次？十七次？
Do you remember what you were describing when you used the word?
你还记得用这词的时候是在说什么吗？
No, I didn't think so, because it's come down to this, people:
我猜你不记得了，因为其实，各位：
You're using the word incorrectly, and tonight I hope to show you how to put the "awe" back in "awesome."
这词你们用错了。而今晚我希望可以展示怎么把“敬畏”放还回“棒极了”这种描述之中。
Recently, I was dining at an outdoor cafe, and the server came up to our table,
最近，我在一个露天咖啡店吃东西，有个服务员走到我们桌边，
and asked us if we had dined there before, and I said, "Yes, yes, we have." And she said, "Awesome."
问我们以前有没有来过，然后我回答，“有，我们来过。”她说，“棒极了”。
And I thought, "Really? Awesome or just merely good that we decided to visit your restaurant again?"
我想，“你认真的？我们再次来你的咖啡店是'棒极了'还是仅仅是'挺好的'？”
The other day, one of my coworkers asked me if I could save that file as a PDF, and I said, "Well, of course,"
有一天，一个同事问我是否可以把那个文档保存成PDF，然后我说，“当然可以，”
and he said, "Awesome." Seriously, can saving anything as a PDF be awesome?
他也说，“棒极了。”老实说，把文档保存成PDF都算“棒极了”吗？
Sadly, the frequent overuse of the word "awesome" has now replaced words like "great" and "thank you."
可惜，频繁过度使用的“棒极了”已经取代了其他词，比如“很好”和“谢谢”。
So Webster's dictionary defines the word "awesome" as fear mingled with admiration or reverence, a feeling produced by something majestic.
韦氏字典把“棒极了”定义为畏惧参杂着倾慕或崇敬的感觉，一种由雄伟壮观的事物引发的情感。
Now, with that in mind, was your Quiznos sandwich awesome? How about that parking space? Was that awesome?
请记住这个定义，你的Quiznos三明治是“棒极了”吗？那个停车位是“棒极了”吗？
Or that game the other day? Was that awesome? The answer is no, no and no.
或者那天的比赛也是“棒极了”吗？回答是：不是，不是和不是。
A sandwich can be delicious, that parking space can be nearby, and that game can be a blowout, but not everything can be awesome.
一份三明治可以美味，那个停车位可以在附近，还有那个比赛可以是狂胜，但不是所有事情都是“棒极了”。
So when you use the word "awesome" to describe the most mundane of things, you're taking away the very power of the word.
所以你们用“棒极了”这词描述最平凡的东西的时候，你们忽略了这个单词所能表达的力量。
This author says, "Snowy days or finding money in your pants is awesome."
这个作者说，“雪天或者在裤子找到钱是'棒极了'。”
Um, no, it is not, and we need to raise the bar for this poor schmuck.
啊，不，不是，我们要为这个屌丝提高标准。
So in other words, if you have everything, you value nothing.
所以换句话说，如果你拥有一切，你就不会去重视它们。
It's a lot like drinking from a firehose like this jackass right here.
很像用消防水带喝水，像这个蠢货一样。
There's no dynamic, there's no highs or lows, if everything is awesome.
如果所有的事都是“棒极了”，就没有动态变化，没有高低比较了。
Ladies and gentlemen, here are 10 things that are truly awesome.
诸位，这里有十件东西真正是“棒极了”的。
Imagine, if you will, having to schlep everything on your back.
设想，如果你必须用你的后背背负一切。
Wouldn't this be easier for me if I could roll this home?
如果能让它滚动着回家，我是不是就可以轻松一点呢？
Yes, so I think I'll invent the wheel. The wheel, ladies and gentlemen.
是的，所以我想我会发明那个轮子。轮子，各位。
Is the wheel awesome? Say it with me. Yes, the wheel is awesome!
轮子“棒极了”吗？跟我一起说！是，轮子是“棒极了”！
The Great Pyramids were the tallest man-made structure in the world for 4,000 years.
金字塔曾在4000年中都是世界最高的人造建筑。
Pharaoh had his slaves move millions of blocks just to this site to erect a big freaking headstone.
法老叫他的奴隶搬几百万石块，就为了去这个地方，竖起一块吓人的墓碑。
Were the Great Pyramids awesome? Yes, the pyramids were awesome.
金字塔是“棒极了”吗？是，金字塔是“棒极了”。

The Grand Canyon. Come on. It's almost 80 million years old.
接着说，大峡谷。看吧！差不多八千万岁了。
Is the Grand Canyon awesome? Yes, the Grand Canyon is.
大峡谷是“棒极了”吗？是，大峡谷是的。
Louis Daguerre invented photography in 1829, and earlier today,
1829年，路易斯·达盖尔发明了摄影，今天稍早的时候，
when you whipped out your smartphone and you took a shot of your awesome sandwich, and you know who you are...
你拿出手机，拍你的‘棒极了’的三明治的时候，你们知道我说的是谁...
wasn't that easier than exposing the image to copper plates coated with iodized silver?
难道不比把图像在覆盖了碘化银的铜片上曝光容易吗？
I mean, come on. Is photography awesome? Yes, photography is awesome.
我的意思是，摄影是“棒极了”吗？是，摄影是“棒极了”。
D-Day, June 6, 1944, the Allied invasion of Normandy, the largest amphibious invasion in world history.
诺曼底登陆日，1944年6月6日，诺曼底盟军的进军，世界历史最大的两栖进军。
Was D-Day awesome? Yes, it was awesome.
诺曼底登陆日是“棒极了”吗？是，是“棒极了”。
Did you eat food today? Did you eat? Then you can thank the honeybee, that's the one,
今天你们吃过东西吗？你吃了吗？你得多谢蜜蜂，就是这只，
because if crops aren't pollinated, we can't grow food, and then we're all going to die. It's just like that.
因为如果作物没有授粉，我们就不能种植食物，然后我们都会死。就是这样。
But it's not like a flower can just get up and have sex with another flower, although that would be awesome.
但是并不是一朵花能直接起来跟另一朵花交配，虽然那会是“棒极了”。
Bees are awesome. Are you kidding me?
蜜蜂是“棒极了”。不可思议是吧？
Landing on the moon! Come on! Apollo 11. Are you kidding me?
登陆月球！继续！阿波罗11号。开玩笑吧？
Sixty-six years after the Wright Brothers took off from Kitty Hawk, North Carolina, Neil Armstrong was 240,000 miles away.
莱特兄弟在北卡罗来纳州的基蒂霍克第一次飞上天66年以后，尼尔·阿姆斯特朗飞到了二十四万英里之远的地方。
That's like from here to the moon. That's one small step for a man, one giant leap for awesome! You're damn right, it was.
就相当于从这里到月亮。对一个人那是小步，对“棒极了”却是一大步！的确，确实是的。
Woodstock, 1969: Rolling Stone Magazine said this changed the history of rock and roll.
1969年的伍德斯托克音乐节：《滚石杂志》称这件事改变了摇滚的历史。
Tickets were only 24 dollars back then. You can't even buy a freaking t-shirt for that now.
当时票价只有24美元。现在连一件该死的T恤都买不到。
Jimi Hendrix's version of "The Star-Spangled Banner" was the most iconic. Was Woodstock awesome? Yes, it was awesome.
吉米·亨得里克斯版本的“星条旗永不落”是最标志性的。伍德斯托克音乐节是“棒极了”吗？是，是“棒极了”。
Sharks! They're at the top of the food chain.
鲨鱼！它们在食物链顶端。
Sharks have multiple rows of teeth that grow in their jaw and they move forward like a conveyor belt.
鲨鱼有好几列牙齿，长在下巴上，可以像输送带一样向前移动。
Some sharks can lose 30,000 teeth in their lifetime.
某些鲨鱼一生会掉3万颗牙齿。
Does awesome inspire fear? Oh, hell yeah, sharks are awesome!
“棒极了”激发了恐惧吗？噢，对，鲨鱼是“棒极了”！
The Internet was born in 1982 and it instantly took over global communication, and later tonight,
互联网在1982年诞生，它即刻占领了全球的通信，今晚，
when all these PowerPoints are uplifted to the Internet so that a guy in Siberia can get drunk and watch this crap, the Internet is awesome.
当所有这些PPT上传到网上的时候，远在西伯利亚的某个人也能酩酊大醉地观看这堆废话，互联网是“棒极了”。
And finally, finally some of you can't wait to come up and tell me how awesome my PowerPoint was.
最后，最后你们有些人等不及上来告诉我，我的PPT是"棒极了"的。
I will save you the time. It was not awesome, but it was true, and I hope it was entertaining,
我会节约您的时间。不是"棒极了"的，但都是真实的，我希望它能博大家一笑，
and out of all the audiences I've ever had, y'all are the most recent. Thank you and good night.
另外在我所有的观众中，你们是最近的一批。谢谢，晚安。