Hey, so y'all, this is what happened the other day.
嘿 大家好呀 今天发生了这样一件事
Oh, people got lost when they were clapping.
哦 人们鼓掌的时候就会迷路
It always happens. People clap.
经常这样 人们一边鼓着掌
And the move over when they clap, and they-- this is not where I was earlier.
一边移动 鼓掌 然后 我刚刚不是在这里啊
So here's what happened. And maybe this has happened to you.
是这样 可能大家也遇到过同样的事
But I got a phone call. It was weird.
我接到了一个电话 很奇怪
The lady has this Southern accent. And she goes, hi, may I speak to Ellen?
那名女士有着南方口音 她说 嗨 请问能找一下艾伦吗？

And that's my Southern accent. I'm from New Orleans. I can do it.
那就是我的南方口音 我老家是新奥尔良的 所以我会说
And I said, this is Ellen. And she said, how are you today?
我说 我就是 她说 你今天好吗？
And I said, I'm fine. How are you? And she said, I'm fine. Thanks for asking.
我说 挺好的 你好吗？她说挺好的 谢谢你的关心
And I said, what are you calling about?
我说 你打电话有什么事吗？
And she goes, I'm sorry. I didn't hear you. I was adjusting my headset.
她说 不好意思 我没听清 刚刚在调整耳机
And I said, what are you calling about? That's what I said.
我说 你打电话是有什么事吗？我就是这么说的
And she goes, I'm calling about your request to refinance your student loans,
她说 我打电话是想说说你申请再次使用学生贷款的事
which doesn't make sense because if there's one thing I have, it's money.
这根本不可能啊 因为我穷的就只剩下钱了
And if there's one thing I don't have, it's a college education.
要是我富的只缺一样东西的话 那就是上大学
And I said, what are you talking about? And she goes, I'm sorry.
我说 你在说什么呢？她说 不好意思
I didn't hear you. I was adjusting my headset.
我没听清 刚刚在调整耳机
And that's when I realized I was talking to a robot.
这时候我意识到电话那头是个机器人
A machine asked me how I was doing.
一个机器问我过的好不好
A machine told me how its day was going.
一个机器告诉我它过的好不好
A machine lied to me about its headset. They're getting smarter. They really are.
一个机器骗我它在调整耳机 它们可真是越来越有能耐了啊 真的
They have pretty Southern accents, and they're trying to trick us into thinking that they're people, which is scary.
它们的南方口音很好听 还想骗我们相信它们就是真人 太可怕了
This is even worse than when our butts learned how to dial.
这比屁股学会拨号还糟糕
That-- robocalls have been around for a while.
机器人打电话已经出现有一段时间了
But you can tell because the voice was like a robot voice.
不过你能听出来 因为声音听着就像是机器人的声音
There were awkward pauses. And it sounded like a robot.
还有很不自然的停顿 一听就是机器人
Now, they have real voices that have, like, Southern accents.
现在机器人都有真正的声音了 还带着南方口音
And they can have entire conversations. And now, I'm suspicious anytime I pick up the phone.
还能完成一整段对话 搞得我现在一接电话就疑神疑鬼
I'm just paranoid about everything. I answer the phone, and I hear, hey, baby, it's Portia.
怀疑一切 我一接电话就听到 嘿 宝贝 我是波西娅（艾伦的妻子）
And I'm like, nice try.
我说 装的不错啊
Yeah, how do I know it's really Portia? And she's like, you know my voice.
我怎么确定你是真的波西娅？她说 你知道我的声音什么样啊
And I'm like, that's exactly what a robot would say.
我说 机器人就是这么说的
Tell me something only the real Portia would know.
给我说一些只有真波西娅才知道的事情
And she's like, you have a tattoo of Henry Winkler above your belly button.
她说 你肚脐上面有一个亨利·温克勒的纹身
And I was like, lucky guess, Terminator.
我说 算你走运 终结者（机器人电影主角）
And then I hung up, and I hurled my phone into the sea.
然后我就挂了 把电话扔到海里了
Technology is great. But it's advancing way too fast.
技术是件好事 但是它进步的太快了
There are robots taking orders at McDonald's.
麦当劳有机器人服务
There are robot bartenders on cruise ships.
游艇上还有机器人调酒师
I even heard some people are building sex robots.
我甚至听说过有人在造性机器人
And by some people, I mean men. And it's scary because robots could take over.
我说的“有人”是指男人 太吓人了 因为机器人可能推翻人类
They're stronger than us. They're smarter than us. They know not to eat Tide pods.
它们比我们更强壮 更聪明 还知道汰渍洗衣丸吃不得
If robots could pretend to be people, then people should pretend to be robots.
如果机器人可以装成人类 那人类应该装成机器人
So tWitch, show people how easy it is for people to be robots. Gotcha.
推奇 给大家看看人变成机器人有多容易 好嘞