Let me tell you something. If you know me at all,
跟大家说个事 如果你们了解我的话
you know I don't pay attention to politics, but unfortunately politics pays attention to me.
你们就知道我不怎么关注政治 不幸的是 政治很关注我
So, I woke up this morning and I saw that my name was trending on Twitter.
今早醒来 我发现推特上到处都是我的名字
And I'm like, oh my God, that's so exciting because I thought my new show,
我还想 天啊 太激动了 因为我以为我昨天晚上的新节目
Game of Games did really well with the ratings last night, and it did.
游戏之王收视率超高呢 收视率确实很高
Thank you so much everybody. But also, my name was trending because of this.
非常感谢大家 而且这个节目也让我的名字在网上随处可见

Eric Trump suggests that Ellen DeGeneres is part of the Deep State.
埃里克·特朗普（特朗普的儿子）说艾伦·德杰尼勒斯是深州的一部分
So, I have some questions. First of all, which one is Eric?
我有几个问题 首先 埃里克是哪位？
Did he kill the elephant or the cheetah, which one, I don't know.
他是杀了大象还是猎豹 哪个 我不知道
So second, what is Deep State? Is it near Dollywood, because I'm in if it is.
其次 深州是神马？是在多莉山主题公园附近吗？如果是的话那就算我一个
And So, it started with this tweet, I guess. Eric Trump posted last night.
应该是源于这条推文 埃里克·特朗普昨晚上发的
It says, "Shocking...once again, here are the Twitter suggestions of who I should follow. #DeepState."
他说“又一次令我们震惊了...我应该听从这些人的推特建议#深州”
So it shows Hillary Clinton, Barack Obama, and me.
上面有希拉里·克林顿 巴拉克·奥巴马 还有我
It's the leader of the free world, plus Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton.
是自由世界的领袖 和巴拉克·奥巴马 希拉里·克林顿
It's just the craziest thing I've seen all week,
这是我这周见过最疯狂的事情
because I saw that movie with the lady having sex with a fish and still, this beats that.
因为我看了一部电影 一个女的跟一条鱼亲热 这比那还疯狂
Apparently, Eric Trump thinks that Twitter is trying to trick him into following liberals,
很明显 埃里克·特朗普觉得推特想骗他关注自由主义者
apparently on part of some secret government conspiracy called the Deep State.
跟一个叫深州的秘密政府阴谋组织
And Have you heard of Deep State, anybody? Neither had I. No, I hadn't either.
大家有人听过深州吗？我也没有 从来没听过
So, I found out Deep State is supposed to be a group of people they believe are trying to undermine Donald Trump.
我发现深州应该是指一群他们认为在试图危害唐纳德·特朗普的人
Which is ridiculous because no one has undermined Trump more than Donald Trump.
这真是无稽之谈 因为最能祸害唐纳德·特朗普的人就是他自己了
I just want to say Eric, I am honored that you think that I'm powerful enough to be part of a government conspiracy.
我只想说 埃里克 你觉得我竟然有能力成为政府阴谋集团的一份子 我倍感荣幸
I am sorry to disappoint you. I am not part of the Deep State.
很抱歉让你失望了 我并不是深州成员
Even if somebody wanted me to be involved, I don't have that kind of time.
就算有人想让我加入 我还没那时间呢
I've got my gay agenda meetings on Mondays. On Wednesday, Beyonce and I host an Illuminati brunch.
我每周一要参加同性恋会议 周三 我要和碧昂斯一起主持“先觉者”上午茶
And then Portia and I on the weekends are desperately trying to have a baby.
周末还要努力跟波西娅造人
So I can't, I don't have time.
所以我不能 我没时间
But there's probably another explanation for why Twitter suggested that you follow me.
不过推特让你关注我 或许还有另一个原因
I mean, it could be a conspiracy or it could be because your sister Ivanka follows me on Twitter,
这可能是个阴谋 也可能是因为你姐姐伊万卡关注我了
and your sister Tiffany follows me on Twitter, and maybe you should follow me.
你妹妹蒂芙尼也关注我了 所以你也应该关注我
Because I post a lot of cute videos.
因为我会发很多超可爱的视频啊
We might not agree on politics, but I think we can both agree this is cute.
或许我们政见不同 但你肯定也认为这个很可爱
Hi, I'm Andy. Ellen asked me to remind you to subscribe to her channel so you can see more awesome videos,
嗨 我是安迪 艾伦让我告诉大家订阅她的频道 看更多超棒的视频
like videos of me getting scared or saying embarrassing things, like ball peen hammer.
比如我被吓到或说一些很尴尬的东西的视频
And also some videos of Ellen and other celebrities, if you're into that sort of thing. Yah! God!
比如圆头手锤 还有艾伦跟其他名人的视频 如果你感兴趣的话 呀 天