You know, I didn't think it was going to get to this point. I signed up for Instagram and I was just kind of fooling around.
我没想到事情会发展到这一步 我注册了Instagram账号 本来只打算瞎玩儿玩儿的
I just thought, you know, I'll follow Taylor Swift or Justin Bieber, baby goats, you know, just kid stuff.
我想着关注泰勒·斯威夫特或者贾斯汀·比伯 山羊羔 玩儿些孩子气的东西
And then I started following a Kardashian here, a Kardashian there, and obviously that led to the Jenners.
不知不觉我就开始关注这个名人 那个名人 当然还有詹纳斯

And then I got into the harder stuff. Food, cats, Beyonce. Now I follow everything on Instagram. Everything. I follow art.
然后我又关注了一些更复杂的东西 美食 猫 碧昂斯 现在Instagram上的所有东西我都关注 所有东西 我关注艺术
I follow architecture. I follow watches. I follow dogs both on Instagram and on the street. If I see one, I will just follow a dog.
建筑学 手表 我还关注Instagram上面的狗狗 大街上的狗狗也关注 如果在街上看到一只狗 我就跟它走了
I started posting pictures of myself, which that's when you've gone too far.
我开始晒自己的照片 这就有点过头了啊
It's like, there's no need for people to see everything I do, but I think that it's important.
没必要让人们知道我做的所有事情 但我觉得这很重要
Here's some things I Instagrammed lately. The first one is me helping JLo get ready for her Vegas show.
我最近在Instagram上发了这些东西 第一个是我帮JLo准备她的维加斯表演
And I was doing some mirror work with her.
我在跟她做镜面练习
I don't know, I thought it was important. We're besties.
我觉得这很重要啊 我们是最好的闺蜜
I want people to know that we're besties, and somehow that makes me feel better about myself.
我想让大家知道我们是好闺蜜 不知怎么的 它让我自我感觉良好
I posted a picture of my first day of season 15 because I was going back to work and parents were posting pictures of their kids.
我晒了一张15季第一天的照片 因为我要回来上班啦 家长们都在晒他们孩子的照片
I just post random things that I think are cute. I posted this picture of a baby doing push ups.
我会随机晒一些我觉得很可爱的照片 我晒了这个宝宝做俯卧撑的照片
I posted that because it's a baby doing a push up. I mean, how do you not post that?
因为这是个小宝宝在做俯卧撑啊 你怎么能错过这等好戏呢
I spend so much time on Instagram I noticed something interesting. Here's the thing.
我在Instagram上面花了很多时间 我注意到了一个有趣的现象 是这样的
Here's Beyonce's Instagram page. Look at this. She has over 100 million followers.
这是碧昂斯的Instagram主页 看看 她有一亿多粉丝
100 million followers. Very impressive. Look at this.
一亿多粉丝啊 太了不起了 快看
She's following zero people. Zero. So I have a new goal in life. I wanted to become the one person that Beyonce follows.
她一个人都不关注 零个 所以啊 我的人生有了新目标 我想成为碧昂斯关注的那个人
That's all I want. I'd ask her in person, but our Illuminati meeting isn't until next month.
我就想这样 我本来想当面跟她说的 可是我们下个月才能在光明会见面
So I'm going to do something to get her attention right now, and I need all of your help.
所以我要搞点事情引起她的关注 我需要你们帮忙
I want to get all 400 of you doing the single ladies dance. OK?
我想让现场的400名观众一起来跳《单身女性》的舞蹈 好吗？
So you're going to stand up. Stand up, everybody. All right.
请大家站起来 起立 所有人 好
And Twitch is going to come over here and I want all of you to follow as closely as-- because if we do this right, we're going to Instagram this.
推奇会到这儿来 我想让大家尽量跟着——如果大家表现好的话 我就把它放到Instagram上
And if she sees it and you help me, we're all going to celebrate. All right?
要是碧昂斯看见了 你们可帮了我大忙 那就可以庆祝了 好吗？
Yes! yes! Thank you, Twitch. Thank you. Thank you so much, Twitch. Hopefully Beyonce will see that.
好！很棒！谢谢你 推奇 谢谢你 太感谢你了 推奇 希望碧昂斯能看到