at his tall imposing figure; and fancied myself in idea his wife.

我瞧着他那高高的、威严的身子，设想我自己是他的妻子！

Oh! it would never do!

呵！这绝对不行！

As his curate, his comrade, all would be right: I would cross oceans with him in that capacity;

作他的副牧师，他的同事，那一切都没有问题。我要以那样的身份同他一起漂洋过海，

toil under Eastern suns, in Asian deserts with him in that office;

在东方的日头下劳作；以那样的职责与他同赴亚洲的沙漠，

admire and emulate his courage and devotion and vigour;

钦佩和仿效他的勇气、忠诚和活力；

accommodate quietly to his masterhood; smile undisturbed at his ineradicable ambition;

默默地听任他的控制；自由自在地笑他根深蒂固的雄心；

discriminate the Christian from the man: profoundly esteem the one, and freely forgive the other.

区别基督教徒和一般人，对其中一个深为敬重，对另一个随意宽耍毫无疑问，

I should suffer often, no doubt, attached to him only in this capacity:

仅以这样的身份依附他，我常常会感到痛苦。

my body would be under rather a stringent yoke, but my heart and mind would be free.

我的肉体将会置于紧紧的枷琐之中，不过我的心灵和思想却是自由的。

I should still have my unblighted self to turn to: my natural unenslaved feelings with which to communicate in moments of loneliness.

我仍然还可以转向没有枯萎的自我，也就是那未受奴役的自然的感情，在孤独的时刻我还可以与这种感情交流。

There would be recesses in my mind which would be only mine, to which he never came,

在我的心田里有着一个只属于我的角落，他永远到不了那里，

and sentiments growing there fresh and sheltered which his austerity could never blight, nor his measured warrior-march trample down:

情感在那里发展，新鲜而又隐蔽。他的严酷无法使它枯竭，他那勇士般的整齐步伐，也无法将它踏倒。

but as his wife -- at his side always, and always restrained, and always checked --

但是做他的妻子，永远在他身边，永远受到束缚，永远需要克制——

forced to keep the fire of my nature continually low, to compel it to burn inwardly and never utter a cry,

不得不将天性之火压得很小，迫使它只在内心燃烧，永远不喊出声来，

though the imprisoned flame consumed vital after vital -- this would be unendurable.

尽管被禁锢的火焰销蚀了一个又一个器官——这简直难以忍受。

"St. John!" I exclaimed, when I had got so far in my meditation.

“圣·约翰！”我想得那么远时叫了出来。

"Well?" he answered icily.

“嗯？”他冷冷地回答。

"I repeat I freely consent to go with you as your fellow-missionary, but not as your wife;

“我重复一遍，我欣然同意作为你的传教士伙伴跟你去，但不作为你的妻子。

I cannot marry you and become part of you."

我不能嫁你，成为你的一部分。”