Five Reasons Not To
不要去做这件事的5个理由
OK. While you thinking about doing things,
在你想着去做什么事的时候
I'm going to give you five reasons why you should not to. OK?
我要给你不要去做这件事的5个理由
Tonight, This is thanksgiving, will be the theme.
今天的主题是 感恩节
And this is five reasons not to deep fry your turkey.
首先是炸火鸡的时候不要炸的太久
1. This will happen.
1. 会出现这种情况
2. Turkeys don't have a dipstick. Corndogs have a dipstick.
2. 炸火鸡的时候看不到有多深 而玉米火腿可以
That's why they are deep fried.
所以玉米火腿可以多炸会儿
3. Deep frying is a greasy, slippery slope.
3. 过度油炸是一个巨坑
Soon you will be deep frying twinkies and oreos.
一旦开始 你就会把夹心面包和奥利奥也拿来油炸

And before you know it, you're wearing a nascar tie to your daughter's wedding.
不知不觉中 参加女儿婚礼的时候你的领带就要系松一点了
4. The pilgrims did not deep fry their turkey. You know why?
4. 最初到美国的移民从来都不会把火鸡炸很久 你们知道为什么吗
Because it is dangerous and it could have hurt their hosts, the native Americans.
因为很危险 而且还会伤害他们的屋主 也就是美国土著人
Imagine coming to this country and hurting native Americans?
想像一下 跑到美国来 伤害美国的土著
5. Did I mention this?
5. 这个前面有说过吗
Don't do it!
别这么干
Don't do it!
别这么干
All right.
好
Five reasons not to Instagram your thanksgiving dinner. OK?
不要把感恩节晚餐照片发到ins的五个理由
1. No one cares.
1. 没人想看
2. You're better than that.
2. 你应该去做更有意思的事情
3. It looks exactly like every other thanksgiving dinner on the planet.
3. 你的感恩节晚餐跟别人的没啥差别
4. Because stuffing looks like cat puke and you'd never Instagram cat puke.
4. 因为火鸡肚子里的是食物看起来很像猫的呕吐物 没人想把猫的呕吐物发到ins上
5. You have six followers on Instagram and they're all at the table.
5. 你的ins只有六个人关注 这六个人就跟你坐在一张桌子上
And finally, five reasons not to play charades after thanksgiving dinner. OK?
最后 感恩节晚餐后不要玩看手势猜字谜游戏的5个理由
1. Never being able to unsee your mother's interpretation of basic instinct.
1. 总是会看到妈妈简单直白的理解
Can't unsee that.
无法忽视
2. Guessing forever as your cousin thinks the new movie Brooklyn, 'sounds like' look-chin.
2. 几个兄弟姐妹总把《布鲁克林》这部电影猜成“看下巴”游戏结束不了
3. Calling 911 having mistakenly confused your father's mime with a stroke.
3. 因为错误的把父亲的模仿当成中风而打911
4. Now your cousin is trying to act out Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium.
4. 现在你的兄弟姐妹们想演《玛格瑞姆先生的神奇玩具店》了
5. Because, honestly, the entire day has been a charade. It's enough already.
5. 因为说真的 这一整天就是一场看手势猜字谜的游戏 受够了