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1.Let's face it-English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England nor French fries in France. Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat.

1.让我们接受现实吧—英语是一种疯狂的语言。茄子（eggplant，字面意为鸡蛋植物）里并没有鸡蛋，汉堡包（hamburger，字面意为火腿夹饼）里也没有火腿。同样，菠萝（pineapple，字面意为松树苹果）里既没有松树也没有苹果。松饼（English muffin，字面意为英式松饼）并不是英国人发明的，而炸薯条（French fries，字面意为法式油炸食品）也不是法国人的发明。“甜肉”（sweetmeat）指的是蜜饯，而(while)“甜面包”（sweetbread）不是甜的，它指的是牛杂碎。

2. We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we findthatquicksand can work slowly, boxingrings are square and a guinea pig isneitherfrom Guinea nor is it a pig. ( nor引导的倒装句) Andwhyit is thatwriters writebutfingers don't finge, grocers don't groce and hammers don'tham?Iftheplural of tooth is teeth,why isn'tthe plural ofbooth beeth?Ifyou have one goose, two geese,why notone moose, twomeese, or one index, two indices?

2.我们理所当然地接受了英语的一切，但是如果我们分析一下英语中似是而非的情况，我们马上就会发现“快的沙子”（quicksand，流沙，也只陷阱，困境）往往走得很慢，“拳击的圆圈”（boxing rings，拳击场）是方的，“几内亚猪”（guinea pig，天竺鼠）既不是来自几内亚，也不是猪。还有，既然名词作家（writers）去掉词尾的rs 就可以成为动词“写作(write）”，那为什么名词“手指”（fingers）、杂货店（grocers）、锤子（hammers）去掉rs就不能成为各自相应的动词呢？如果牙齿的复数是teeth，那为什么售货亭的复数不是beeth？一只鹅我们用goose，两只鹅用geese，那么，一只驼鹿用moose（单复数同形），两只驼鹿就应该是meese了？为什么一条索

引是index，两条索引却成了indices？

3. Doesn'titseem crazythatyou can make amends but not one amend, orthatyou can comb through the annals of historybut nota single annal? If youhave a bunch ofodds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?

3.如果你赔偿时只能赔偿复数不能赔偿单数，这是不是很莫名其妙？你可以梳理历史的编年史，为什么却不能梳理某一个单个的编年史？如果你有一堆麻烦（a bunchof odds and ends），那么在你把其他的都解决了只剩下一个(get rid of all but one of them)的时候该怎么说呢？（amends: n. 赔罪, 赔偿; amend: v. 改良; 修改, 修订; annals: n. 编年史; annal: n. 记录）

4.Ifteachers taught,whydidn'tpreachers praught?Ifa vegetarian eatsvegetables,whatdoes ahumanitarian eat?

4.如果教师教学是taught，那为什么传教士传教不是praught？如果素食主义者（vegetarian）吃蔬菜（vegetable），那人道主义者（humanitarian）吃什么？

5. Sometimes I thinkall the English speakersshould be committed toanasylum forthe verbally insane. Inwhatotherlanguage do people recite at a play andplay at arecital; ship by truck andsend cargoby ship; havenoses that runandfeet that smell; park ondriveways and drive on parkways?

5.有时候我觉得根据英国人说话时疯狂的用词可以将他们送进精神病院（asylum）。哪一种语言人们可以在一出戏中朗诵，在朗诵中玩（分别指演戏 和开独唱会）？用卡车运船，用船运货（分别指用卡车运输和用船运输; ship v. 运送; n. 船, 舰）？鼻子可以跑而脚可以闻味道（分别指流鼻涕和脚有臭味）？车可以停在驾驶路上，而且在停车路上驾驶（driveway从字面上理解是驾驶路，实际是车道；parkway从字面上理解是停车路，实际是公园道路、驾车专用道路）。

6.Howcanaslim chance anda fat chancebethe same, while a wise man and wise guy are opposites,andquite a lot and quite afew arealike?Howcan the weather behotas hellone dayand coldas hellanother?

6.为什么一个苗条的机会（slim chance，指没机会）和一个肥胖的机会（fat chance，也指没机会）意思是一样的，而一个聪明的人（wiseman，聪明人）和一个聪明的家伙（wise guy，自作聪明的人）却意思相反(opposite)？为什么相当多（quite a lot）和相当少（quite a few）意思一样(alike)?（实际上quite a lot和quite a few都是指相当多。）为什么天气可以热的像地狱也可以冷得像地狱？（as hell字面意思像地狱一样，实际指“非常地”）

7. You have tomarvelatthe unique lunacy of a language in which your house canburn up as it burns down, in which you fill ina formby filling it outand in which an alarmclock goes off by going on.

7.你不得不对这种精神病一样的语言（the unique lunacy of a language）表示惊奇(marvel at)，在这种语言中，你的房子在被烧下去（burn down，意为烧毁）的同时(as)又被烧上去（burn up，意为烧起来，烧掉）。你用填出来（fill out，意为填写）的方法填进去（fillin, 意思也是填写）一个表格(form)。闹钟在走（go on）的时候响（go off）了。

8. English was invented by people,notcomputers, and it reflectsthe creativityofthe human race. That is why,whenthe stars are out, they are visible,but whenthe lights are out, theyare invisible. And why,whenI wind up my watch, Istart it,but whenIwind upthis essay, I end it?

8.英语是人而不是机器创造出来的语言，它反映了人类的创造性。这也是为什么当星星出来的时候，我们是看得见的，当阳光出来的时候是它们却看不见的。同理，我“处理”我的手表之后，它就开始（走）了；而我“处理”完这篇文章后，它却结束了。（wind up:上紧发条；使结束）

课后练习

课后练习：

1. English muffins weren’t invented in England French fries in France.

A.while B. not C. either D. nor

2. Sweetmeats are candies sweetbread, which aren’t sweet, aremeat.

A. what B.as C. which D. while

3. We take English for .

A. ground B.great C.granted D. grant

4. But if we explore its , we find that quicksand can workslowly.

A. parade B. paraphrases C. paragraphs D. paradoxes

5. Did you make to Tom for his loss?

A. mend B.mind C. amends D. amend

6. You can through the annals of history.

A. combine B. comb C. tomb D. combat

7. If you have abunch of odds and ends and get rid of of them, what do you call it?

A. one but all B.all only oneC. all but oneD. all besides one

8. Sometimes I think all the English speakers should to an asylum for verbally insane.

A. bepermitted B. be omitted C. vomited D. be committed

9. How can the be hot as hell one day and cold ashell another?

A.climate B. whether C weather D. climb

10. You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language your house can burn up as itburns down.

A. what B. aboutwhich C. of which D. in which

11. My alarm clock at 6 every morning.

A. goes on B. goes off C. gets up D. gets out

答案：1D 2D 3C 4 D 5 C 6B 7C 8D 9C 10 D 11B