Leonard, I've been working on an opening joke for our lecture at Berkeley.
莱纳德，我正在准备我们在伯克利分校教课的开场笑话。
Oh, I like to laugh. But say it anyway.
我是挺喜欢笑，不过你想说就说吧。
Okay, um...What do you say to a graduate of the UC Berkeley physics department?
好吧，你该跟伯克利分校的物理系毕业生说什么呢？
I'll have fries with that. Because his education hasn't prepared him for a career in the sciences.
我点的餐要配薯条。因为他们接受的教育不足以让他们在科学领域找到工作。
You know, when they chase you out of there, you only have to run faster than Sheldon.
等学生们冲过来打你们时，你只要跑得比谢尔顿快就没事了。
Are you all set for your trip? Yeah, I think so. I just restocked the old PRK.
出发都做好准备了吗？应该吧。我重新帮共所包补了货。
"P.R.K"? Public restroom kit. Everything a boy needs for making pee pee in new and strange places.
什么"共所包"？公共厕所用品包。内含一名小男孩要在陌生新环境嘘嘘所需要的一切用品。
I don't see what's crazy about bringing a backpack with your own toilet paper and Purell. Keep going.
带着个背包放自己的厕纸和干洗手液有什么值得奇怪的啊。接着说。
And rubber gloves, uh, air freshener. Um, noise-cancelling headphones. Oh, danger whistle. pepper spray. Ooh, a multi-language "Occupied" sign.
还有橡胶手套 、空气清新剂、抗噪耳机、防狼警笛、防狼喷雾、多语言版"已占用"的牌子。
Uh, let's see. We have seat protectors, uh, booties for my shoes, a clothespin for my nose.
我看看。还有马桶坐垫纸、 鞋套、夹鼻子的晒衣夹。
Oh, and a mirror on a stick, so I can make sure the person in the stall next to me isn't some kind of weirdo.
还有连棍子的镜子，这样我可以确保隔壁厕间的人不是什么变态之类的。
You still worried some Berkeley girl is gonna steal him away?
你还担心伯克利分校会有姑娘把他抢走吗？
Yes, who do you think gave him the danger whistle?
当然，不然你觉得他的防狼警笛是谁给的？
Would you like to play a physics car game I invented called "I Can't Spy"?
你要玩我发明的物理学车上游戏吗？名字叫"我是没用间谍"。
It's all the nail-biting tension of "I Spy" but the added fun of subatomic particles and waves outside the visible spectrum.
保留了"我是小间谍"紧张刺激的部分，但是加入了有趣的亚原子粒子以及可见光谱外的光波。
If it's half as much fun as "One Times Ten to the Fourth Bottles of Beer on the Wall," I'm in.
如果这游戏有"1乘10的4次方瓶啤酒在墙上"一半好玩我就玩。
I'll begin. Uh, I can't spy with my little eye...something passing right through us.
我先开始。小间谍我的眼睛不能看到...某个直接穿过我们的东西。
That soy Frappuccino I had.
我刚才喝的豆奶星冰乐。
Will you please play the game? I can't spy with my little eye something passing right through us. I don't know, um...
还能不能好好玩游戏了？小间谍我的眼睛不能看到...某个直接穿过我们的东西。我不知道啊...
If 65 billion solar neutrinos pass through a square centimeter every second,
如果每秒有650亿太阳中微子通过每平方厘米的区域按照我们这车的表面积来算，
given the surface area of this car is about 60,000 square centimeters, that means 3.9 times ten to the 15th solar neutrinos?
也就大概6万平方厘米吧。所以通过的太阳中微子大概有3900兆那么多吗？
I don't want to play anymore. We haven't been on a road trip in a while. This is fun.
我不想玩了。我们好久没有一起自驾游了。还挺好玩的。
We get it, you won the game. Stop bragging.
知道。你赢了行了吧。不用这么臭显摆吧。
No, listen, we wrote a paper together. Now we get to go to a university and talk about it? That's pretty cool.
不是啦，我们一起写了篇论文，现在还要一起去大学做论文的演讲？这蛮酷的不是吗。
I suppose it is. In fact, if you'd like to celebrate with a little music, I'd be okay with that.
我想是吧。其实，如果你想要放点音乐来庆祝一下，我不会介意哦。
What...? This road trip just got crazy.
虾米？这趟自驾游要疯狂啦。
Play that funky music, white boy. I'm surprised you know that reference. What reference?
放那放克乐吧，白人男孩。我真没想到你知道这个典故。什么典故？
So, I put stickers on everything we're gonna sell. We just need help taking it all out to the driveway.
我把所有要卖的东西上都贴了贴纸，大家帮忙搬出去到车道上就行了。
Can I be in charge of pricing? I've been going to garage sales my whole life. Can you believe I got these pantyhose for a nickel?
能让我来负责价格吗？我这辈子去过无数车库拍卖。你们相信这条连裤袜我只花了5分钱就买到吗？
All right, Amy's in charge of pricing and being 75.
行，艾米负责价钱，以及当75岁老人。
Hey, Penny, can you give me a hand with this?
佩妮，能帮忙搭把手吗？
Sure. Aw, we had one of these growing up. I used to play all the time.
行。我小时候家里也有这个，我以前天天玩。
Oh, yeah? I love PingPong. Oh, I meant beer pong.
是吗？我也爱打乒乓球。我说的是啤酒乒乓。
I had a table, too, but I didn't have any friends, so all I did was serve.
我家也有球桌，可是我以前没有朋友，所以我只能一直发球。
You know, you can leave one side up and play against it.
你可以半边桌不要平放下来，跟桌面对打啊。
And if I had a friend, they might have told me that.
如果当年我有朋友，或许就会有人教我这事。
Excuse me. Why is there a sticker on this? It's my TARDIS from Doctor Who. I was planning on moving it in the house.
抱歉。为什么这上面会有要卖的标签？是我的《神秘博士》塔迪斯。我本来准备把它移进屋里的。
I think you just answered your own question.
你的话已经回答了你的问题。
Come on, one day, this may double in value and be worth half what I paid for it.
干嘛这样，说不定某天它价格会翻倍，能达到我当时买价的一半。
Sweetie, we have a lot to do. We don't need to decide this right now.
亲爱的，我们的事情还很多。我们不需要现在就决定这个。
Well, I guess as long as you're keeping an open mind. Of course.
只要你能有一颗包容的心，我没意见。当然啦。
Play that funky music, white boy. Play that funky music right. Play that funky music, white boy
放那放克乐，白人男孩。放对那放克乐。放那放克乐，白人男孩。
So...they're requesting that the white boy play the funky music, yes? Yes.
所以...他们要求那个白人男孩放那放克乐，对吧？是啊。
And this music we're listening to right now is funky as well? Sure.
而我们现在在听的歌就是放克乐，对吧？是啊。
Let me ask you this. Do you think this song is the music the white boy ultimately play? It could be.
我问你个问题。你觉得这首歌是不是那个白人男孩去放的那首放克乐？有可能啊。
So it's like the musical equivalent of Russell's Paradox, the question of whether the set of all sets that don't contain themselves as members contains itself?
所以这就是像是音乐界的罗素悖论。所有不包含自身的集合本身是否属于该集合？
Exactly. Well...then I hate it. Music should just be fun.
没错。这样的话...我讨厌这首歌。音乐就应该是纯娱乐。
Making great time. Gonna be there pretty early.
基本没浪费时间，我们会很早到那里。
Will our hotel room be ready? I doubt it.
我们的酒店房间会准备好了吗？难说。
Aren't you worried that sitting in the lobby for a long period of time might attract the attention of the hotel detective?
你不担心如果我们在大堂坐得时间太久会引起酒店侦探的注意吗？
If we do, we'll just tell him to "hit the bricks, see?"
如果真引起注意，我们就叫他"哪儿凉快哪儿呆着去，滚。"
Seems a little confrontational, but all right. You know, we won't be very far from Skywalker Ranch.
感觉有点强硬了，不过行吧。我们现在这里离天行者牧场不远。
Oh, that's true. It's not like we can get in there. Why not?
这倒是。我们又不能进去。为什么不能？
II don't think George Lucas put his headquarters in the middle of nowhere because he wanted people dropping in.
乔治·卢卡斯把他的总部设在荒郊野外，就是为了不想有人乱入。
Yoda's swamp was in the middle of nowhere. Tatooine was in the middle of nowhere.
星战里尤达大师的沼泽也是在荒郊野外啊。星战里天行者的故乡也是荒郊野外啊。
Hoth was in the middle of nowhere. That's code, Leonard. He wants us to drop in.
霍思星也是偏僻到不行啊。这是暗号，莱纳德。他希望我们乱入。
We do have time. I mean, we could drive by and just look at it.
我们是还有多余时间。我们可以开车经过看一下。
Yes! Oh...I'm so excited. And I just can't hide it.
太好了！我好兴奋。藏都藏不住。
"I'm about to lose control, and I think I like it." What are you talking about?
"我就快要失控，而我喜欢这感觉。"你在说什么啊？
So when do you guys think you're gonna move in?
你们两个打算什么时候搬进来呢？
We're still figuring how much remodeling we want to do.
我们还在考虑要装修哪里。
It's tricky finding the right balance between "Tasteful modern" and "Jewish mother tchotchke crapfest."
要在"有品位现代化"与"犹太老妈俗气破烂"之间找平衡挺有难度。
Have you made a decision about the TARDIS? I think I can sell it if we call it, "Big British PortaPotty."
你们决定好怎么处置塔迪斯了吗？换个名字我应该能卖掉，叫"大号英式移动公厕"。
We're not selling it, it's mine.
我们不卖，这是我的东西。
You can't just decide. How about I arm-wrestle you?
你不能随便做决定。不然我们比腕力定胜负吧？
That's not fair. It's like me challenging you to a sexy pants contest.
这不公平啊，这就跟我用性感裤子比赛虐你一样。
You could play PingPong for it. I would do that.
你们可以打乒乓定输赢啊。这我可以接受。
How is that fair? You grew up with a table.
这怎么就公平了？你从小家里就有球桌。
Yes, but I mostly used it as a battlefield in an ongoing war between the Transformers and the ThunderCats for control of a bra I had found in the woods.
但我几乎都是用来当做变形金刚与霹雳猫之间的战场，让他们争夺我在树林捡来的胸罩的控制权。
Bernadette, for every episode of Doctor Who Leonard has made me sit through,
伯纳黛特，看在莱纳德逼我看过的所有《神秘博士》的仇，
I will play on your behalf and send that TARDIS back to Gallifrey, where I hate that I know it belongs.
我愿意为你出战把塔迪斯送回加利弗雷去。我真恨我还知道了它母星叫什么。
Yes, Penny plays for me. That's not fair. She has upper body muscles.
行，佩妮替我出赛。这不公平啊，她有上半身肌肉。
Dude, three-time Sanskriti School for WellBorn Boys badminton champion.
兄弟，我可是三届印度含金汤匙小孩学校的羽毛球冠军。
That's right. Okay, Raj can play for me.
对啊。行，拉杰替我出赛。
Ooh, you just chose champions. It's like we're reenacting the ancient German practice of trial by combat.
你们都选厉害的人代打，感觉像是在重演旧时德国的决斗裁判法。
Yeah, it's also like when the Mountain fought the Red Viper in Game of Thrones.
是啊，就像是《权利的游戏》里魔山大战红毒蛇那样。
Leonard makes you watch that, too?
也是莱纳德逼你看的吧？
No, no, I like that show. It's got dragons and people doing it.
没，我挺喜欢这剧。里面有龙，还有人做爱。
So it's settled. The fate of Doctor Who's TARDIS will be decided by a Game of Thrones inspired death-match on the battlefield of ThunderCats versus Transformers.
就这么定了。《神秘博士》的塔迪斯的去留，将由在霹雳猫大战变形金刚的旧战场上的因一场受《权利的游戏》启发的死斗来决定。
If you still have that bra, I'll give you a nickel for it.
如果当年那个胸罩还在，我出5分钱跟你买。
There it is. It's just a gate. On a road.
到了。只有个闸门。在路中间。
Wasn't even that hard to find.This is so amazing! I know! You want to get a picture?
而且一点也不难找。这也太赞了！对啊！想去拍个照吗？
I want more than a picture. I want to go in.
我不只想要照片，我想进去。
Well, so do I, but they'll never let us.
我也想进去，不过他们肯定不让进。
Is that the attitude that helped you get Penny?
你追到佩妮靠的是这态度吗？
No, but I don't have three years to make that gate feel sorry for me.
不是啊，可是我也没有三年时间可以让那个闸门同情我啊。
Uh, there's a speaker box. Drive up, push the button, and let's see what happens.
那边有个对讲机。开过去，按按钮，看看会发生什么事。
Okay, yeah. What do we have to lose?
好吧。按一下你会损失什么吗？
I'm a little nervous. Well, get over it. Confidence is key in these situations.
我有点紧张。克服它。这种情况最需要的就是自信。
Right. You pushed it! Are you out of your mind? ! May I help you?
对。你还真按了！你疯了吗？！有事能帮忙吗？
Uh, uh...we don't have an appointment, and-and we don't belong here, but we-we're, like, crazy-big fans.
那个...我们没有预约，也不应该来这里，但我们是超级疯狂粉。
I mean..."Crazy for Star Wars" crazy, not crazy like we have a backpack full of duct tape, although we do have a backpack that you really don't want to look in.
我是指"对星战很疯狂"的狂热粉，不是那种有一背包绑架胶带的疯子。不过我们的确是有个背包，里面装满了你不会想看的东西。
You're blowing it. We want to meet George Lucas and become his friends and play with him!
你要搞砸了。我们想见乔治·卢卡斯，跟他当朋友，跟他一起玩！
Hello? This speaker's not working, just pull up. And that's how it's done.
有人吗？这对讲机失灵了，你们就开进来吧。这么干就对了。