Okay, let me see the damage. Hang on.
让我看看损坏的程度。等一下。
Well, I think you broke the dowels. You're not gonna have time to glue it back on, you'll have to nail it.
你可能把暗榫弄坏了。你没有时间把它粘回去了，只能用钉子钉上。
With what? Does she have any pillows or wine glasses? She does.
用什么钉啊？她那里有枕头或者酒杯吗？有耶。
Great. Neither of those. Try a hammer!
太好了。这两样都没用。去找把锤子！
Did that feel good? You feel like a big man now?
耍我你爽了吗？你觉得自己很厉害了吗？
I was going to make you red zinger, but since Mars is the red planet, I went with peppermint.
我本想帮你泡杯红花茶，但鉴于火星也是红色的星球，我还是给你泡薄荷茶吧。
Why do you even want to do this?
你到底为什么想参加这个项目呢？
Actually...as part of the application, I was required to make a short video answering that very question. You want to see it?
其实呢...申请中的一部分，就是要我录一段短片回答这个问题。你想看看吗？
Can't you just tell me? But I made a video.
你就不能直接告诉我吗？但是人家录了短片的呀。
I'm Dr. Sheldon Cooper, and I'd like to tell you why I should be chosen to...go to Mars!
在下谢尔顿·库珀博士，我要告诉你们为什么应该选我...上火星！
I'm exceedingly smart. I graduated college at 14. While my brother was getting an STD I was getting a PhD. Penicillin can't take this away.
我聪明绝顶。14岁就从大学毕业了。我的兄弟得性病时，我就已经得博士学位了。青霉素可祛不掉博士学位哦。
Being in close quarters, cleanliness is important and...my hygiene is impeccable. In fact, animals don't trust me because I smell like nothing. Yeah...Literally nothing.
在狭小的空间里，保持清洁至关重要，而我的卫生习惯无懈可击。动物都无法信任我，因为我身上什么味都没有。真的...啥味都没有。
During the seven-month space flight, I can keep up morale with my wacky sense of humor. Hey, Leonard...is there any peanut brittle left in that can?
在长达7个月的太空飞行中，我可以用我独特的幽默感保持士气。莱纳德，那个罐子里还有花生糖吗？
You mean this weirdly suspicious one? Yes. Open it and check.
你是指这个超级可疑的罐子吗？是的，打开看看嘛。
I don't get it. There's actually peanut brittle in...Please go to Mars.
我不明白了。这里面真的有花生糖...拜托你去火星好吗。
But on a more serious note: The most important reason I want to go to Mars is that I believe, as a scientist, it's my duty to push the boundaries of human knowledge forward.
言归正传。我想去火星的最大原因是，我坚信，身为一位科学家，突破人类认知的极限是我的天职。
Now, I know that life on Mars will be difficult. But life here on Earth is no picnic.
我知道火星上的生活将无比艰难，但地球上的日子也不像野餐那么好玩。
Also, picnics are no picnic. Where should we go for lunch? Oh, I know, the ground.
当然，野餐本身也不好玩。我们该去哪里吃午餐？我知道，去地上吃吧。
In conclusion, thank you for considering me for this journey of a lifetime. To Mars!
总而言之，多谢你们观看我为这段千载难逢的旅行录制的申请。上火星！
Afterwards, Leonard blew his nose, and pie came out.
后来，莱纳德从他的鼻子里擤出了派呢。
Right there, right there. Oh, God, that's it!
就是那里，就是那里。天啊，终于啊！
How did you get paint in your eye? Because you wouldn't let me wear safety goggles!
你是怎么把颜料弄到眼睛里？都是因为你不让我戴防护眼镜！
This looks terrible. She-she's gonna know. It's fine. You just need two more nails.
看上去一团糟啊。她肯定会发现。没关系。你就差两个钉而已了。
Okay, where should I put them? In Emily's eyes. You're not helping.
好的，应该钉在哪里？钉在艾米丽的眼睛里。你真是帮倒忙。
Well, maybe this is what you get for snooping.
所以这就是你偷翻人东西的报应。
You know, it-it's bad enough that I have to deal with this...Raj? I'm back.
我鼓捣这玩意儿就已经够烦了...拉杰？我回来了。
Oh, no. Hey. Hi. How was the hospital?
完了。嗨。嗨。医院情况还好吗？
Fine. What were you doing in there?
很好。你在里面干什么呢？
Uh...w-well...Okay, look, II don't want to lie to you. II got curious, I was looking around...and I broke the drawer on your night stand.
那个...我...我不想对你撒谎。我很好奇，于是我到处看了看...然后我就弄坏了你的床头柜抽屉。
You were looking in my night stand? Yeah.
你翻看了我的床头柜抽屉吗？是的。
So, the first time I leave you alone, you snoop on me?
所以我第一次让你单独留在家里，你就开始到处偷翻？
You've never snooped around my apartment? No!
你从来没偷翻过我的公寓吗？没有！
Come on, think back. It would really help if you had!
快，好好想想。你要是有过前科会很有帮助哟！
I can't believe you don't trust me! She sounds really mad.
真没想到你这么不相信我！她听起来很火大啊。
We should hang up. Yeah, we should.
我们应该挂掉。对，是应该。
But we're not going to, are we? Not a chance.
但我们不会这么做，对不对？门都没有。
What happened to "snooping is wrong"?
不是说"偷翻是不对的"吗？
Howard, you're going to jail for tax fraud. Who cares?
霍华德，反正你就要因为税收欺诈去坐牢了，还怕啥偷翻？
Well, we did it. We sure did.
我们"做"到了。确实"做"到了。
I mean, I was on fire! II was in the zone, like an athlete.
我整个小宇宙都爆发了！我超在状态，像运动员一样。
Sweetie, I beat you at this, too. So, where do we want to hang it?
亲爱的，这次你也是被我虐爆了。那我们把它挂哪儿？
What? Are you kidding? We're not hanging it! But it's an expression of our love.
什么？你开什么玩笑？才不要挂起来！但这是我们爱情的展示。
And our butts! Not hanging it! Seems a shame to throw it away.
也是我们的屁股！不挂！扔了怪可惜的。
Yeah. We could give it to Sheldon, and tell him William Shatner painted it.
是啊。我们可以送给谢尔顿，告诉他是威廉·夏特纳画的。
God, I love you. I love you so much.
天，我爱你。我爱死你了。
I think I'm gonna go home. Why? I really don't understand what's happening here.
我要回家了。为什么？我真不理解这是什么情况。
You know, Sheldon, at any other time, learning that you had plans to go live on Mars would be a slow news day.
谢尔顿，如果是任何其他时候我知道你计划要去火星上住，那这事只是你太晚告诉我而已。
But a couple of hours ago, we were getting a turtle. And silly as it sounds, I thought that meant something.
但几个小时前，我们还要一起养乌龟。虽然说起来有点傻，但我以为那代表着什么。
Amy! Oh, why didn't I give her Sleepy Time tea? Amy, wait! Getting a turtle meant a great deal to me, too.
艾米！我为什么没给她喝睡觉觉茶？艾米，等等！要养乌龟对我来说也是意义重大。
Sure. Unless something better comes along.
当然。除非有更好的事发生嘛。
Do you want me to withdraw my application?
你是想让我撤销我的申请吗？
What I want is for us to be planning our future together.
我想要的是我们一起计划共同的未来。
And in that future, are we on the same planet? Yeah, because I've seen people make the long-distance thing work. We're on the same planet! Okay!
在你说的未来，我们是在同一星球上吗？因为我也看过远距离异地恋成功的例子。我们是在同一星球上！知道了！
Does that planet have to be Earth?
一定要在地球这颗星球吗？
Are you asking me to go to Mars with you?
你是在邀请我和你一起去火星吗？
I am. Yeah, if I'm going to a barren, lifeless environment, where the chances of survival are slim to none, I want you there with me.
我是。如果我要前往一个贫瘠、无生命、生存几率接近于零的地方时，我希望你在我身旁。
Why don't we go back to the apartment, and fill out your application?
要不要跟我回家把你的申请填了？
Okay. I suppose being the first people on a new planet would be incredibly exciting.
要。我想能成为第一批在新星球居住的居民，应该挺刺激的。
Oh, I know. We could be the first to plant a flag on Mars. We could be the first to watch Mars Attacks! On Mars.
我知道。我们可以成为第一批在火星插旗的人。成为第一批在火星上看《火星入侵》电影的人。
We could be the first to say "Good Lord, what on Mars are you talking about?"
我们也可以是第一批"我的天，你说的什么火星话啊？"的人。
You know, we could also be the first people to procreate on Mars.
你知道吗，我们也可以成为第一批在火星生育的人。
You just can't keep it in your space pants, can you?
你的太空裤就是系不严，是不是？
Think about it. If we had a family there, our kids would be Martians.
你想想。如果我们在那里成家，我们的孩子就是火星人了。
They would, wouldn't they? We could give them cool Martian names. And we could teach them about Martian history.
他们还真会是，对不对？我们可以给他们取酷酷的火星人名字，教他们火星人的历史。
Like, who planted those flags? And, uh, where did that copy of Mars Attacks! Come from?
比如这些个旗子都是谁插的。还有《火星入侵》影带是谁带来的。
I guess we'll have to make a new video together, as a couple.
也许我们需要以情侣身份录个新视频了。
Good idea. And since you've had such a rough day, I'm gonna let you throw the pie in Leonard's face.
好主意。既然今天你这么不开心，我愿意让你用馅饼糊莱纳德一脸。
Thank you for forgiving me. It's okay. At some point, we were bound to have our first fight.
谢谢你原谅我。不客气。恋爱后的第一次争吵早晚都会发生呀。
Well, it almost happened when you called my apple pie crust "Doughy." The truth is you were right. And I was just angry at myself.
你说我的脆皮苹果派不脆又没味时就差点发生了。事实是你当时说得对，我只是气自己罢了。
Can I ask you one thing? Of course. What? Did you look in my closet? No. Just the drawer.
我能问你件事吗？当然。什么事？你看没看过我的衣柜？没有，只有抽屉。
You promise you didn't look in the closet? I promise. Why, what's in there? Don't worry about it. Good night.
你发誓你没看过吗？我发誓。为什么，里面有什么？你别管了。晚安。