Is he here?
他在吗？
If he were, I wouldn't be.
他要在我就不会在这儿了。
Do you know what he did?
你知道他干了什么？
He watched me work for ten minutes, and then started to design a simple piece of software that could replace me.
他看我工作了10分钟，然后开始设计一个简单的能取代我的软件。
Is that even possible?
这可能吗？
As it turns out, yes.
结果证明是可以的。
Something is got to be done about him, Leonard.
咱们得对他采取行动兰纳德。
Like what? He'll never be able to cope with the fact that some 15-year-old kid is smarter and more accomplished than he is.
什么行动？他怎么也不能接受一个15岁的孩子比他更聪明更有成就的事实。
Well, what if something were to happen to this boy so he was no longer a threat to Sheldon?
那要是这个孩子出事了会怎样？那他就不会再威胁到谢尔顿了。
Then our problem would be solved.
那我们的问题就迎刃而解了。
Hang on, are we talking about murdering Dennis Kim? I'm not saying no.
等等，我们难道在讨论谋杀丹尼斯·金吗？我又没说不行。
We don't have to go that far. There are other means available.
不必出此下策，还有其他方法。
We can't send him back to North Korea. He knows how to get out.
不能送他回朝鲜，他知道怎么出来。
The only thing we need to do is make this Kim kid lose his focus.
咱们只需要让金这小子分心。
Won't happen. He is not interested in anything but physics.
不可能的，除了物理他对什么都不感兴趣。
What about biology? What? You know, biology.
生物怎么样？什么？就是……生物。
The one thing that can completely derail a world-class mind. Howard, he's 15.
唯一能够让世界数一数二的大脑彻底崩溃的东西。霍华德，他才15岁。
Yeah, so? When I was 15, I met Denise Palmeri and my grade point average fell from a 5.0 to a 1.8.
那又怎么样，我15岁的时候认识了迪妮斯·帕尔玛莉，我的各科平均分从5.0掉到了1.8
She was sleeping with you?
她跟你上床了？
No, I just wasted a lot of time thinking about what it would be like if she did.
没有，不过我花了很多时间幻想她肯跟我上床的场景。
Oh, good, you're all here.
噢，太好了，你们都在。
Look, I've decided that if the three of you drop whatever it is you're working on and join me,
我决定要是你们三个扔下你们现在工作跟我合作，
we could lick cold fusion in less than a decade. 12 years, tops. Go away?
我们可以在10年解决冷聚变问题。最多不超过12年。走开？
Could it be me?
难道问题出在我身上？
Oh, hey guys, what's up?
嗨伙计们什么事？
We need a hot 15-year-old Asian girl with a thing for smart guys.
我们需要一个喜欢聪明男孩子的15岁亚裔漂亮女孩。
Howard, that's racist. Any 15-year-old girl will do the trick.
霍华德你这话有种族歧视味道，只要是15岁的女孩就行。
It's possible she may have misunderstood us.
她可能误会了我们的意思。
Dr. Cooper. Oh, are we interrupting? No, no. Please come in. Yeah, I think you'll appreciate this. This is very exciting.
库铂博士，我们打扰你吗？没有，请进，我觉得你会欣赏这个，非常激动人心。
Oh, what are you working on? Something remarkable.
噢，你在研究什么？一些不同寻常的。
Since my prospects for the Nobel Prize in physics have disappeared, thank you very much.
既然我不太可能拿到诺贝尔物理奖了，全拜你所赐。
I've decided to refocus my efforts and use my people skills to win the Nobel Peace Prize.
我决定转移我的精力，利用我的人际交往能力，去赢得诺贝尔和平奖。
Look. I'm going to solve the Middle East cris by building an exact replica of Jerusalem in the middle of the Mexican desert.
瞧这儿，我要解决中东危机，办法就是在墨西哥沙漠里精确地再造一个耶路撒冷。
To what end? You know, it's like the baseball movie. "Build it and they will come."
为什么？你知道，就象那个关于棒球的电影，“建成了他们就会来了”。
Who will come? The Jewish people.
谁会来？犹太人。
What if they don't come?
要是他们不来呢？
We'll make it nice, put out a spread.
我们建造得很好，再做做宣传。
Okay, well, um... speaking of spreads,
好吧，呃……说起宴会，
we're having a small welcoming party this afternoon for Mr. Kim who's agreed to join us here at the university.
我们今天下午为金先生办一个小型欢迎会，他已经决定加入我们大学了。
Of course he has. The Oracle told us little Neo was the one.
当然了。神使告诉过我们，小尼奥是救世主。
You can see The Matrix, can't you?
你能看见母体对吧。
Okay, well, obviously you're very busy with your, uh, um... Come, Dennis.
好了，显然你正忙着……走吧丹尼斯。
You'll have to excuse Dr. Cooper. He's been under a lot of, um... He's nuts.
你别介意库泊博士，他受到很大的……他疯了。
I really don't understand your objections, Professor Goldfarb. Why wouldn't the Sonora Desert make a perfectly good promised land?
我真不明白你的反对理由歌德法布教授，索诺拉沙漠为什么不能成为一个好的“应许之地”？
Go away. We could call it Nuevo Jerusalem.
走开。可以改名叫新耶路撒冷。
Please go away. Said Pharaoh to Moses.
请走开。法老对摩西说的也是这句。
Why are all these young women here?
怎么来了这么多年轻女孩子
It's Take Your Daughter To Work Day.
今天是“带女儿上班日”。
Really? I was not aware of that.
真的吗，我怎么不知道。
Oh, yes. There was a very official e-mail that was sent to everyone whose insurance files indicated they had daughters between the ages of 14 and 16.
没错，凡是保险档案上写着他们的女儿是14至16岁之间的人都收到了一封很正式的通知电邮。
Smooth. Thank you. There's the man of the hour.
说得好。谢谢。主角来了
Okay, so we now have a socially-awkward genius in a room full of attractive, age-appropriate women.
好了，现在不善社交的天才和一屋子年龄相仿的漂亮女孩共处一室。
All he has to do now is hook up with one of them.
他只需要搭上其中一个。
Anyone else see the flaw in this plan?
还有谁看出这个计划的缺陷了？
We need a social catalyst. Like what? We can't get 15-year-old girls drunk.
我们需要个社交催化剂。比如什么？咱们也不能灌醉15岁的女孩。
Or can we? No, we can't.
或者可以。不，绝对不能。
I don't think you mean "we can't." I think you mean "we shouldn't."
我觉得你的意思不是我们不能，而是我们不该。
Hey, Howard, you're a Jew.
嗨，霍华德，你是犹太人，
If there was another Wailing Wall exactly like the one in Jerusalem but close to taco stands and cheap prescription drugs,
假如有一面和耶路撒冷那个一模一样的哭墙，不过附近就有墨西哥小吃和廉价药品，
would you still be able to wail at it?
你还哭得出来吗？
Okay, it's definitely me.
好吧，肯定是我的问题。
Okay, we cannot leave this to chance. Let's pick a girl and figure out how to get her together with Dennis. Okay,
好吧，咱们不能靠运气，挑一个女孩再想怎么把她和丹尼斯撮合在一起。好的，
how about that one?
那个怎么样？
Uh-uh. I know the type. Cheerleader, student council, goes out with the jocks, won't even look at anybody in the gifted program.
不行，我了解这类女孩子，拉拉队长，学生会成员，专门约会体育健将，根本不会正眼看优异生班的学生。
And if, after two years of begging, she does agree to go out with you,
即使在你哀求两年后她终于肯跟你约会，
it turns out to be a setup and you're in the backseat of your mom's car with your pants off while the whole football team laughs at y...
结果你会发现那不过是个圈套，你在你妈的车后座上脱了裤子橄榄球队全体球员都在笑话你……
Are you crying? No, I have allergies.
你哭了吗？没，我有过敏性反应。
Okay, um, oh, hey, how about her?
好吧，那个怎么样？
Sure, if he wants to spend a couple years doing her homework while she drinks herself into a stupor with nonfat White Russians.
当然，假如他想花两年时间帮她写作业而期间她把自己灌的酩酊大醉
And you're the one holding her head out of the toilet while she's puking and telling you she wishes "more guys were like you."
然后你得在马桶旁边扶着她的头，她则一边呕吐一边说希望“更多男人像你一样”。
And then she gets into Cornell because you wrote her essay for her and you drive up to visit her one weekend and she acts like she doesn't even know you.
接着她进了康奈尔大学因为她的申请作品是你帮她写的，可你周末开车去看她的时候她却好像根本不认识你。
Okay, so not her, either. Oh, hey, how about her?
好吧那也不选她。嗨，她怎么样？
Oh, interesting, kind of pretty, a little chubby, so probably low self-esteem.
有意思，有点姿色稍嫌丰满所以可能不太自信。
I think that's our girl. One of us should go talk to her.
我觉得就是她了，咱们得有个人去跟她聊聊。
I can't talk to her—you do it.
我不能跟她说话，你去吧。
I can't just go up and talk to her. Howard, you talk to her.
我不能就这么走过去跟她说话，霍华德你去跟她聊。
I don't know, she'll never go for the kid once she gets a peek at this.
我不确定，见识过我的风采之后她肯定不会再对那孩子动心了。
You know, if we were in India, this would be simpler.
要是在印度就简单了，
Five minutes with her dad, 20 goats and a laptop, and we'd be done.
跟她爸谈5分钟，20只山羊再加上一部手提电脑一切搞定。
Well, we're not in India.
咱们现在不是在印度。
All right, why don't we do it your way then?
好吧，为什么不按照你的方案作呢？
We'll arrange for this girl to move in across the hall from Dennis so he can pathetically moon over her for months on end.
咱们安排这个女孩搬到丹尼斯宿舍对面住，这样他就可以每天想着她茶饭不思。
Okay, that was uncalled for. You started it, dude.
你有点过分了。你先开始的老兄。
Could I have everyone's attention, please?
可以占用大家一点时间么？
What a wonderful occasion this is.
多好的聚会啊。
And how fortunate that it should happen to fall on Take Your Daughter to Work Day.
幸运的是又恰好跟“带女儿上班日”在同一天，
We're here to welcome Mr. Dennis Kim to our little family. Welcome, Dennis Kim.
我们在此欢迎丹尼斯·金先生加入我们的小家庭。欢迎丹尼斯·金。
Mr. Kim was not only the valedictorian at Stanford University,
金先生不仅是斯坦福毕业典礼的学生致词代表，
he is also the youngest recipient of the prestigious Stevenson Award. Youngest till the cyborgs rise up!
他同时也是著名的史蒂文森奖的最年轻得主。在半机械人出现之前最年轻的而已。
And now, without any further ado, let me introduce the man of the hour, Mr. Dennis Kim. Dennis? Dennis! What? !
现在我不再浪费时间，让我向大家介绍今天的主角，丹尼斯·金先生。丹尼斯？丹尼斯！什么事？！
Would you like to tell us a little bit about your upcoming research?
你想不想给我们讲讲你接下来的研究方向？
No, thanks. I'm going to the mall with Emma.
不了谢谢，我要跟艾玛去商场。
The kid got a girl. Unbelievable.
那孩子泡到了一个女孩。难以置信。
Did anyone see how he did it?
有人看见他是怎么做到的吗？
Don't worry, I've got this.
别担心，交给我。
Ladies and gentlemen, honored daughters,
女士们先生们，尊贵的女儿们，
while Mr. Kim, by virtue of his youth and naivete, has fallen prey to the inexplicable need for human contact,
虽然金先生由于他的年轻和天真向参与社交的莫名渴望屈服，
let me step in and assure you that my research will go on uninterrupted,
让我出来向你们保证我的研究是不会受到干扰的，
and that social relationships will continue to baffle and repulse me. Thank you.
社交关系会继续令我感到迷惑和憎恶。谢谢。
He's back. Yeah, mission accomplished.
他恢复正常了。任务圆满完成。
Forget the mission. How did that little yutz get a girl on his own?
别管什么任务了，那个小崽子是怎么把女孩搞到手的？
I guess times have changed since we were young. Smart is the new sexy.
我想时代已经和我们小时候不一样了，天才也性感。
Then why do we go home alone every night? We're still smart.
那咱们怎么每晚还是一个人回家，咱们也是天才啊。
Maybe we're too smart. So smart it's off-putting.
也许咱们太天才了，天才到让人不舒服的地步。
Yeah, let's go with that.
好吧，就这么想吧。
Unbelievable. Components I built are on the International Space Station and I get a ticket for launching a model rocket in the park.
难以置信，国际空间站上有我亲手造的零件，可我想到公园发射一个火箭模型还得吃张罚单。
I don't know if the ticket was so much for the launch as it was for you telling the policewoman,
我觉得那罚单跟发射无关，更可能是因为你跟那个女警察说，
"You have to frisk me. I have another rocket in my pants."
“你必须搜我的身，我裤子里还有一个火箭”。
Hey, look at that. It's Dennis Kim.
嗨看那边，是丹尼斯·金。
Wow, I almost didn't recognize him.
喔，我差点没认出他来。
You know, I kind of feel bad about what we did to him.
说起来咱们对他干的事让我有点内疚。
Yeah, we really ruined his life.
对，咱们真是毁了他的一生。
Screw him, he was weak.
去他的，是他太软弱。