Amy: You know, this's such a slap in the face. I mean I'm your sister and you would give your baby to these strangers over me.
这真的很侮辱，我是你妹妹……你却可以把婴儿给这些陌生人而不给我。
Rachel: Monica is Ross' sister.
莫妮卡是罗斯的妹妹。
Amy: No, Ross' sister was really fat.
不，罗斯的妹妹很胖的。
Monica: That was me.
那就是我。
Amy: No, she was this really dorky girl in high school, used to follow Rachel around like a puppy dog.
不，她是个蠢蠢的女生，在学校时就像小狗一样跟着瑞秋。
Rachel: Ok. Hey Amy, you got to stop doing that.
艾美，我不许你再这样了！
Monica: Ok, uh listen I know that you're having a little bit of a family crisis, but you don't have to take it out on the plates.
好了，我知道你现在正在经历家庭危机，但是你不需要把气出在盘子身上。
Monica: I mean, in-in fact I think that, that everyone should, uhm, cut their food like this.
其实我认为每个人……都应该这样切食物。
Monica: Now, see, uh this way you protect the plates...and-and let's face it, you have fun.
现在，看到了吗？这样不只可以保护盘子……而且还挺好玩的。
Amy: Ok, how about this, if you guys die and the crazy plate lady dies, then do I get the baby?
好吧，要是这样呢？如果你们死了……而且疯狂盘子女士也死了……那我可以得到婴儿吗？
Chandler: No, if crazy plate lad...If Monica dies then I would get Emma, Right?
不，如果疯狂盘子女……如果莫妮卡死了，那艾玛就是我的了，对吗？
Rachel: Well, actually...
嗯，其实……
Chandler: Actually what?
怎样？
Ross: Uh...it's just, it's just in that case, then, um, Emma would go to my parents.
只是…… 如果是那样的话……那艾玛就会去跟我父母亲住。
Chandler: What?
什么？
Amy: Hurts, doesn't it?
很伤你的心，对不对？
Joey: Uh...who has to die for me to get her?
我要等谁死了才能得到她？
Chandler: So, if Monica's not around, I'm not good enough to raise Emma?
所以如果莫妮卡不在了，我就没有资格抚养艾玛了？
Ross: No, that, that is not what we're saying.
不，我们不是这个意思。
Joey: Yeah he's lying. He looked down.
他在说谎，他看了地上。
Chandler: Well what is wrong with me? Am I...am I incompetent? Because I managed to survive whatever it is that killed the three of you!
那我有什么不好的呢？我无能吗？因为无论是什么东西杀了你们三个，我都存活了下来！
Rachel: Honey, you're taking this the wrong way. We-we think you're going to be a wonderful parent. It's just...you-you're more the, you know, fun parent.
你反应过度了。我们认为你会是很好的父亲。只是……你是比较风趣的父亲。
Ross: Yeah and we'd want to make sure that Emma also has someone like Monica who is more of a, a discliplinarin, someone who can be firm and strict.
是的，我们想要确定艾玛也有像莫妮卡这样的人照顾，比较有纪律的人比较坚定严格的人。
Monica: That's not how you see me, is it?
你们对我的感觉不是真的那样吧？
Phoebe: No you're all about the fun.
不，你真的很好玩。
Chandler: Look, I may not know a lot about babies, but do you really think I'm not capable?
我或许不是很了解婴儿，但是你们真的认为我没有能力吗？
Ross: No, you-you both are equally capable. It's-it's just...you're strongest when, when you're together.
不，你们两个能力相当。只不过你们在一起的时候是最强的。
Chandler: Ok. So if we both had Emma and I died she had have to give her up.
好的，如果我们有艾玛，然后我死了……她也不能拥有她。
Ross: Sure, Monica would have to give her up.
当然，莫妮卡也必须把她让出来。
Joey: I lie better then that, right?
我说谎说的至少比他好，对吧？
Chandler: So, let me, let me just get this straight.
让我搞清楚。
Chandler: So my two friends die, I get Emma. Then my wife dies, then Emma the one tiny ray of hope left in my life gets taken away from me?
如果我的两个朋友死了，我得到艾玛。然后我老婆死了，那我生命中剩下的唯一一小块希望，艾玛……也会从我身边被带走？
Phoebe: There's your movie!
演的好精采哦！
Monica: Hey. There you are.
嘿，你在这里。
Monica: You disappeared after dinner.
你在晚餐之后就消失了。
Chandler: Oh? Did somebody miss me? Is there a child to raise poorly?
有人想念我吗？有婴儿需要被无能的父亲抚养长大吗？
Monica: Ross and Rachel don't know what they're talking about. I mean it's not like their so responsible.
罗斯跟瑞秋根本什么都不懂。他们自己也不是多有责任感。
Monica: Emma is a product of a bottle of Merlot and a five year old condom.
艾玛只不过是一瓶红酒跟一个过期保险套的产品。
Chandler: Yeah but they're right. I mean, I'm not a strong father figure and I never will be.
不，他们是对的，我不是强悍的父亲，我永远都不会是。
Monica: No, you learn these things. You grow-grow into it.
不，这些是要学习的。你会逐渐学会的。
Chandler: Yeah, but it's not who I am.
是的，但那就不是我了。
Chandler: You know? Everything they said is exaclty why I was worried about having a kid. And it's true.
他们说的一切，都是我担心有小孩之后会面对的问题，是真的。
Chandler: And look, everybody knows it.
而且，大家都知道。
Monica: I don't know it! I wanna have a kid with you because I think you're gonna be an amazing dad...at the fun parts and the hard parts.
我并不知道！我要跟你生小孩因为我认为你会是很棒的父亲……不管是风趣还是有纪律。
Chandler: Oh yeah, well, can you picture me saying "Go to your room! You're grounded"?
那你可以想像我说 “回房去，你被禁足了”吗？
Monica: Can you hear me say "You're grounded"?
你可以想像我说“你被禁足了”吗？
Chandler: You said that to me last week.
你上星期才那样对我说。
Monica: How hard is it? No shoes on the furniture.
我叫你不要穿着鞋子踏在家具上，到底有多难呢？
Joey: The producer from Days left a message on my machine asking why I wasn't at the parade.
制作人刚刚留言问我为什么没有参加游行。
Joey: They said everybody's really pissed off at me...And they all got to meet Santa!
他说大家都对我很不爽……而且他们都有见到圣诞老公公！
Phoebe: It's ok. I thought of the perfect lie for you.
没关系，我帮你想了一个完美谎言。
Phoebe: It's simple, it's easy to remember and doesn't invite a lot of questions.
很容易记，而且不会引来更多的问题。
Joey: Does it have something to do with a spaceship? Oh no no no no, the Statue of Liberty came to life, and...
是跟太空船有关的吗？自由女神活了过来……
Phoebe: Shhh. You weren't at the parade because you had a family emergency.
你没有参加游行因为家里出了紧急状况。
Joey: Oh, I like that, yeah. Wasn't at the parade because I had a family emergency.
我喜欢！耶！我没有参加游行因为家里出了紧急状况。
Phoebe: Ooh, what happened?
发生什么事？
Joey: Uh...my sister's raccoon...
我妹的浣熊……
Phoebe: No! Nothing with a raccoon.
不，别提浣熊！
Joey: Alright, I'll take care of it.
好吧，我来照顾它。
Monica: Oh wait...what-what're you doing?
等等，你们在做什么？
Joey: Setting the table.
摆餐具。
Phoebe: Yeah we thought it would be nice to use, the fancy china for dessert too.
我们觉得用这些精致餐盘来吃甜点应该也很不错。
Monica: Oh, how nice. Maybe later we can all go blow our noses on my wedding dress.
很不错，或许等一下我们可以去拿我的结婚礼服来擤鼻涕。
Ross: Hey dude, you ok? Sorry about before.
嘿，兄弟，你还好吗？刚刚的事我很抱歉。
Chandler: Oh no that's ok, you're totally right. I don't know anything about disciplining a child.
没关系，你完全是对的。我根本就不知道如何管教孩子。
Chandler: But it did hurt my feelings and I want you to know that if I die, you don't get Joey.
但是我还是很伤心而且我要你知道，如果我死了……你别想得到乔伊。
Amy: Ucch. Uchh In case you hadn't noticed, I'm not talking to you.
如果你还没注意到，我现在不会跟你说话的。
Rachel: UCHH!
UCHH！
Amy: You know...this is, this is classic Rachel.
真的是…… 这是典型的瑞秋。
Rachel: Oh yeah, yeah, right. Remember in high school when I died and didn't give you my baby?
喔，对喔，记得在高中我死的时候也没有把我的婴儿给你吗？
Amy: This might be my one chance to have a child, Rachel. I mean, you know that I have been so busy focusing on my carrer.
这或许是我唯一拥有小孩的机会，瑞秋。你知道我一直忙于我的事业……
Rachel: What? What carrer?
什么事业？
Amy: Um...I'm a decorator.
我是室内设计师。
Rachel: You decorate dad's office and now you're a decorator?
你装璜了爸的办公室就是设计师了吗？
Rachel: Ok! I went to the zoo yesterday, now I'm a koala bear.
好的，我昨天去了动物园，现在我就是树袋熊了。
Amy: Why can't you ever be supportive?
你为什么不能多支持我一点？
Rachel: Sup...You wanna talk supportive? You didn't even come and visit me when I was in the hospital having the baby.
你要谈支持吗？我在医院生小孩时你可没有来看过我！
Amy: Oh. Yeah. Well, you didn't come to see me in the hospital when I was getting my lips done.
我在医院整形嘴唇时你也没有来看我！
Rachel: I did the first time!
我第一次有去。
Rachel: Oh. Oh And you know what. You wanna know why I'm not giving Emily to you.
你想知道我为什么不要把艾蜜莉给你吗？
Ross: Emma.
是艾玛。
Rachel: Oh whose side are you on? I'm not giving you Emma because there is no way you could handle the responibility of a child.
你是站谁那边的？我不给你艾玛，是因为你无法扛起照顾小孩子的责任。
Amy: Well how hard could it be? You do it.
那有多难呢？你都做得到。
Joey: Ooh...
哦……
Amy: Do I know why you don't wanna me to have the baby?
你知道，你为什么 不想让我得到婴儿吗？
Rachel: Uh huh.
嗯哼。
Amy: Because you don't want me to be happy. You-you have always been jealous of me.
因为你不想看到我快乐。你总是在忌妒我。
Rachel: Jealous of what? Of your lack of responsiblity? You, your immaturity? Your total disregard for other people's feelings?
忌妒你什么？忌妒你没有责任感吗？还是你的不成熟？你那种完全忽略别人感受的作为吗？
Amy: Uh...To name a few.
这只是其中几项。
Amy: You know, you just, you've always been like this. You just, you had to have everything. And I couldn't have anything.
你总是这样。你总是要所有的东西。而我什么都得不到。
Amy: Like in junior high, when you stole Timmy from me. I mean, do you even realize how much that hurt me?
就像在初中的时候，你抢走我的提米。你知道那伤我有多深吗？
Rachel: Timmy was my boyfriend, and you made out with him!
提米是我的男朋友，而你跟他偷偷亲热！
Amy: Oh come on, that was 20 years ago. Get over it.
别这样，那已经是二十年前的事了。别太记恨。
Rachel: I cannot believe, I cannot believe that I invited you here today.
我不敢相信我在今天邀请了你。
Amy: Yeah, well you know what I cannot believe.
是喔，你知道我不能相信什么吗？
Amy: That my so-called sister, gets a 30% discount from Ralph Lauren and I still have to pay retail? !
我所谓的姐姐……有罗夫·罗兰七折的折扣优惠，而我却要付零售价！
Rachel: Ha ha ha. Ah ha ha. It's forty five.
哈哈哈。啊哈哈。是五五折。
Amy: You bitch.
你这个贱人。
Amy: You just think you're so perfect. With your new baby and your, your small apartment.
你就是认为你很完美。拥有你的新生儿，还有你的小公寓。
Amy: Well let me tell you something. Your baby isn't even that cute.
让我告诉你一件事。你的婴儿并不怎么可爱。
Ross walks over: Too far, Amy. Too far.
太过分了，艾美，太过分了。
Rachel: You take that back.
你收回那句话。
Amy: No.
不。
Rachel: Take it back!
收回那句话！
Amy: No! What're you gonna do? Make me?
不，你能怎样呢？强迫我吗？
Rachel: Heey man, I work out.
嘿，我有上健身房！
Amy: So do I.
我也有。
Rachel: I do pilates.
我有做普拉提。
Amy: I do yoga.
我有做瑜伽。
Rachel: Bring it on!
放马过来！
Monica: Put the plates back in the boxes! Put the plates back in the boxes!
盘子放到箱子里！盘子放到箱子里！
Rachel: Did you just push me?
你刚刚推了我吗？
Amy: Uh, yeah, I think I did.
是的，没错。
Rachel: Alright. Thats it!
好了，够了！
Monica: Forget the bubblewrap! There isn't time!
别管泡泡包装了！没有时间了！
Rachel: Frizzy frizzy frizzy frizzy!
卷发，卷发，卷发！
Phoebe: Oh my gosh! Shouldn't we stop this?
我们应该阻止她们吗？
Joey: What? Are you out of your mind? Let's throw some jello on them.
什么？你疯了吗？我们应该倒一些果冻到她们身上！
Phoebe: Hey, someone can get hurt.
嘿，有人会受伤的。
Ross: Kick her, Rachel, kick her!
踢她，瑞秋！踢她！
Joey: Pull her top off, Rachel! Pull her top off!
把她上衣脱掉，瑞秋！把她上衣脱掉！
Rachel: Ew! Gross.
恶心！
Chandler: Alright! That is it.
好了，到此为止。
Chandler: This is our apartment and you can not behave this way.
这是我们家，你们不可以有这种行为！
Chandler: Now if you can't act your age then you shouldn't be here at all.
如果你们不能表现得像成人，你们就不应该在这里。
Chandler: Now those plates may not be as nice as the pretty pink ones that I picked out, but they're very important to Monica.
那些瓷盘或许没有像我挑的那些粉红色瓷盘好看……但是它们对莫妮卡很重要。
Chandler: And I want you to apologize to her right now.
而我要你们现在就跟她道歉。
Amy: I'm sorry.
我很抱歉。
Rachel: Mon, I'm so sorry.
莫妮卡，我很抱歉。
Chandler: Ok. That's better.
好了，这样好多了。
Chandler: Now I want you to apologize to each other and mean it.
现在，我要你们诚心地跟彼此道歉。
Chandler: Amy and Rachel: Sorry.
对不起，对不起。
Chandler: By the way, that fight was totally arousing.
对了，刚才那场架真是让人情欲高涨。
Ross: Dude. Well done.
老兄。干的好。
Ross: You know what? If-if I die, and Rachel dies and Monica dies you can totally take care of Emma.
你知道吗？如果我跟瑞秋还有莫妮卡死了，你可以照顾艾玛。
Chandler: Oh yeah? Well thanks.
是吗？谢谢。
Ross: So, so now do I get Joey?
那…… 那我可以得到乔伊吗？
Chandler: Ok, but you should know he eats five times a day and shoves pennies up his nose.
好的，但是你得知道他一天吃五餐，而且还会塞硬币到鼻孔里。
Rachel: Are you ok Mon?
你还好吗，莫妮卡？
Monica: Uh huh...I mean these things happen.
这种事常发生的。
Monica: I mean it's just a plate, not like somebody died.
只不过是盘子而已，又不像是有人死了。
Phoebe: That's all right. You can mourn.
没关系的，你可以哀悼的。
Monica: Thank you. It was so beautiful.
谢谢你。这些本来都很漂亮的。
Monica: I'm gonna go to Joeys and get the pies.
我要去乔伊家拿几个馅饼。
Joey: Actually not pies, it's just pie.
事实上，不是几个馅饼，是一个馅饼。
Monica: I don't care.
我不在乎。
Monica: Oh my god. I've lost the will to scold.
天啊，我已经失去唠叨的力气了。
Rachel: Look Amy, got a little um, it's out of control over there...Um...and I'm sorry.
听着，艾美……我们有一点……失去了理智……我很抱歉。
Rachel: You're my sister and uh...if it really means that much to you...
你是我妹妹……如果你真的很在乎……
Amy: So you're gonna give me the baby?
那你要给我你的婴儿了吗？
Rachel: No, I was, I was gonna let you use my Ralph Lauren discount.
不，我只是……我只是要让你用我的罗夫·罗兰折扣。
Amy: You are not gonna regret this.
你不会后悔的。
Rachel: She needs changing.
她要换尿布了。
Chandler: Oh no no, I'll get her. I'm super-compentent, totally responsibile and fourth in line to raise Emma.
不，不，不，让我去。我超级有自信，完全有责任感，而且是扶养艾玛第四位置的人。
Chandler: I'll be right there Emma. Just let me get my trusty diaper bag here.
我马上就来，艾玛。先让我拿一下我的尿片袋子。
Chandler: Well, what'd you know? I guess I'll be the one who dies first.
你们知道吗？我想我将是第一个死的人。
Phoebe: Hey, does Monica know about her broken plates yet?
嘿，莫妮卡知道瓷盘的事吗？
Chandler: Nope.
不知道。
Phoebe: Broke them all, huh?
全都打破了，是吗？
Chandler: Yep.
是的。
Phoebe: You gonna tell her?
你要告诉她吗？
Chandler: Nope. Hey, so, I'm gonna...put the plates back.
不想。嘿，我要把这些盘子放回去。
Chandler: You know, I think you were right, I don't think we should use these plates again for a long time.
我想你是对的，我们近期内不应该再用这些盘子。
Monica: Like only if the queen comes?
只有女王来的时候才用吗？
Chandler: Maybe not even then.
或许那也不是时候。
Joey: Hey! I did it.
嘿，我办到了！
Joey: I called my producer. I told him I had a family emergency, he totally bought it.
我告诉我的制作人说我家里发生紧急事件，他完全相信我。
Joey: Thanks for teaching me how to lie Phoebe.
谢谢你教我如何说谎。
Phoebe: No problem! Next week, stealing...
不用客气！下星期教你偷窃……
Monica: Bye plates!
再见，盘子！
Joey: Oh, you told her you broke all the plates, huh?
你告诉她你打破所有的盘子了？
Monica: What? Something happened with the plates?
什么？盘子发生什么事了吗？
Joey: Uhm...Yeah...this uhm...raccoon came in.
嗯……是呀……是因为嗯……浣熊进来了。