Joey, would you slow down? They're not gonna be sold out of papers at one o'clock in the morning.
你慢一点，报纸不会在半夜一点就全部卖光的。
I'm excited! I've never gotten reviewed before.
我好兴奋的！这是第一次有我的剧评。
You were so amazing as the king. I was really impressed, I was.
你演国王演得太精彩了！我非常欣赏，真的。
Although, you know what? You might want to consider wearing underwear next time.
不过你知道吗？我觉得下一次啊，你应该考虑要穿穿内裤。
Yeah, 'cause when you sat down on your throne you could kind of see your...royal subject.
因为当你坐在王位上的时候，观众可以看到你的…龙根子。
Come on, no one wore underwear back then. I'm sure the critics appreciated your authenticity. Nice genitals by the way.
那个年代没有人穿内裤的，我相信评论家会欣赏你真实的表演。顺便说一句，生殖器不错。
Thanks man! Here it is, here it is. The only thing worse than the mindless, adolescent direction was Joseph Tribbiani's disturbingly unskilled portrayal of the king.
谢啦兄弟。有了，有了！“唯一比没大脑又孩子气的导演还要烂的是…乔伊崔比亚尼对国王的超级逊的糟糕诠释。”
OK, look, that is one guy's opinion, alright. Pheebs, read yours.
那只是一个人的意见好吧。菲比，念你的。
OK. The only thing worse than the mindless, adolescent direction was Joseph Tribbiani...
“唯一比没大脑又孩子气的导演，还要烂的是乔伊崔比亚尼…”
Does anyone have one from a different paper? Ross, read yours.
有人念一念别家的报纸吗？罗斯，念你的。
I don't want to.
我不太想念诶。
The only enjoyable moment is when the king is beheaded and he can speak no more.
唯一有趣的时刻是，当国王被砍头不能再讲话的时候。
Joey, honey, they don't know what they're talking about. Yeah.
乔伊，亲爱的，他们根本不懂他们在讲什么。对。
Maybe they do. I've been doing this ten years and I haven't gotten anywhere. There's gotta be a reason.
或许他们是对的。我已经演了十年都还没有混出名堂，这绝对是有原因的啊。
Come on. Maybe you're just, uhhh...paying your dues.
别这样嘛兄弟，你现在只是处在耕耘阶段。
No, no, no, it's, it's too hard. It's not worth it. I quit.
不，不不...太难了，也不值得，我不干了。
Come on, Joey! It's crazy.
别这样啊乔伊，别说胡话了。
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait one minute. Wait a minute. I believe this will change your mind.
等等等等，等一下！你听了这个包你会回心转意的。
In a mediocre play, Joseph Tribbiana was able to achieve brilliant new levels of...continued on page 153...sucking.
在这出平庸的戏里，乔伊崔比亚尼成功地跃上另一层美妙而又新兴的…接153页…烂境界。
Well, was there anything else you ever wanted to be?
那，还有什么是你一直想干的吗？
I don't know. When I was little, I wanted to be a veterinarian, but then I found out you had to put your hands into the cows and stuff.
我不知道。小的时候，我的志愿是当一名兽医。然后我发现我必须要把手伸到牛肚子里面什么的。
Hiiiiii.
嗨。
Hey...
嗨。
Areare you OK?
你还好吗？
Yeah, yeah, just a tough day at work, you know. A stegosaurus fell over, trapped a kid.
好，好，只是今天工作的水深火热你们知道么。剑龙倒了，困住了一个小孩。
Whoa, whoa, I know this jacket, this is, thFun Bobby's jacket! Where is he, what. He, he's here, isn't he?
噢噢，我认得这件夹克！这是搞笑巴比的夹克！他在哪里？他在这儿，对不对？
Maybe.
或许吧。
Don't toy with me.
别耍我。
Geller!
盖勒老兄！
Hey, Fun Bobby!
嗨，搞笑巴比！
Hey. Whoa, hey, you've been working out, huh?
喔，你有去健身啊？
Not at all! I love this guy. Hey, I was so psyched to hear you're back with my sister!
才没有呢！我爱这家伙。好高兴听到你跟我妹妹又在一起了。
You and me both.
我们都好高兴。
Hey, so what'd I miss, what'd I miss, come on?
我错过了什么，快点告诉我？
Oh, we were just trying to make Joey feel better.
我们在试着让乔伊觉得好过一点。
Hey, do you need me to pick you up?
需要我把你举起来吗？
No, I'm all right man, really.
不，我没事了兄弟，真的。
No, I'm picking you up.
不，我就要把你举起来！
Hey no, seriously, I don't need you to pick me...Alright! It still works.
不，认真的，我不需要你把我举… 好吧，这招还是管用！
OK, now before I go, does anybody else need to be picked up? I'm still gonna go.
在我走之前，还有谁想要被我举起来？我还是走好了。
OK, I'll see you later baby.
好的，待会儿见宝贝。
Uh, public display of affection coming up. You can avert your eyes.
我们要公开亲热了，大家的眼睛请回避一下。
See you. Bye! See you later!
回见！再见！
Fun Bobby is so great.
搞笑巴比好棒！
Oh, isn't he? Oh, you know, I really think this time it may work with him.
是吧是吧！你知道么，我真的认为我们这次会定下来。
I mean, he just makes me feel so good and I've been feeling so lousy, you know, last couple of months, no job, no boyfriend. Well, at least my cup is half full.
他让我觉得好棒，而且过去两个月我一直觉得好郁闷，没有工作，也没有男朋友。至少现在我的杯子满了一半啦。
Half full of looooovvvvve.
半杯子的“爱~~~”。
And for our twoweek anniversary, he's gonna take me to his cousin's cabin for the weekend.
在我们恋爱两周庆的时候，他会带我去他表哥的小木屋度过整个周末。
Cabin of loooooovvvvve.
“爱~~~”的小屋。
We went through a lot of wine tonight, you guys.
我们今晚喝了好多酒啊伙伴们。
Really? I only had two glasses.
真的嘛？我才喝了两杯。
I just had a glass.
我只喝了一杯。
Two.
两杯。
I had one glass.
我喝了一杯。
I had about a mugful in this lovely 'I got boned at the Museum of Natural History' mug.
我用这只可爱的“我在自然历史博物馆被去骨了”的杯子喝了一杯。
OK, so that's...that's what, two bottles? And yet somehow we went through five?
这么说的话，顶多两瓶。可是这里怎么有五个瓶子？
Oh!
噢...
So what. So he drank a lot tonight.
那又怎么样，他今晚喝的多了些。
Yeah but, you know, now that I think about it, I don't think I've ever seen Fun Bobby without a...a drink in his hand.
是呀，不过现在我想起来…我记得搞笑巴比从来酒不离手。
Yeah. Oh, OOh, yeah, you know, did you notice how he always starts his stories with, um, OK, 'I was so wasted,' or, 'Oh, we were so bummed,' or, um, ooh, ooh, 'So I wake up, and I'm in this dumpster in Connecticut.'
对！！你们有没有注意过，他故事的开头总是，呃…“我喝得烂醉了”或者是“我们大醉”或者是“我醒来以后发现我躺在康涅狄格州的一辆垃圾车里”。
Monica, have you ever been with him when he wasn't drinking?
莫妮卡，你们约会时他有没喝酒的时候吗？
Well, we just happen to go to a lot of places where you might drink. I mean, how do you go to a wine tasting without having a drink? Or...or to a club, or to the...zoo.
我们只是恰巧去的都是会喝酒的地方。我是说你去品酒会，怎么可能不来杯酒。或者是去俱乐部，或是去…动物园。
Thanks. Rach, does this have nonfat milk?
瑞秋，这里面有没有脱脂奶？
Ehhhummmm, II don't know, why don't you taste it.
我不知道，你尝尝看吧。
Mmmm, no.
不是的。
Oh well, too late, sorry, you already had some.
太迟了，抱歉，你已经喝过了。
What'd you say we make these, uh, coffees Irish?
我们把这都弄成爱尔兰咖啡，（里面掺有威士忌）怎么样？
Um, cake.
哦，蛋糕！
Yeah, we're gonna...we're gonna get some cake.
对，我们要去拿些蛋糕。
You know what? It seems like you've been making an awful lot of stuff Irish lately.
我发现你最近好像把很多东西，都弄成爱尔兰式的。
Well, I would make them Belgian, but the waffles are hard to get into that flask.
我很想弄成比利时式的，可是饼干很难塞进酒瓶子里。
Bobby.
巴比。
Yeah, OK.
唉，好吧。
Look, maybe this is none of my business, or maybe it is, I don't know...but, uh, I'm kinda worried about you.
听着，这或许不关我的事，或许有关，我也不知道。但是我有点担心你。
OK, look, this isn't the first time somebody's said something to me about this, but, I don't know...I always made excuses about it, like...uhhh...'I'm just a social drinker,' or, 'Come on, it's Flag Day.'
这不是第一次，有人跟我说过这件事情了。但是，我也不知道…我老是为自己找一些借口，比如“跟朋友在一起才喝”或“来嘛，今天是国庆节！”。
So, what are you saying now?
那你现在怎么说呢？
I guess I'm saying, I'll try and quit. I kinda like that you worry about me.
我猜我要说…我会尝试着戒酒，我有点喜欢你担心我的样子。
Sooo, what's going on, huh?
怎么啦，发生什么事了？
I, am gonna try and quit drinking.
我要试着戒酒了。
Ohhh, why?
哦，为什么啊？
Hey.
嗨。
Guess who's back in show business.
猜猜谁又重回演艺圈了？
Ohh, ohh, Lorne Greene?
哦哦，罗伦格林吗？
No, no, Pheebs. You know why? 'Cause he's dead.
不不，菲比，你知道为什么吗？因为他已经死了。
Oh, no.
哦不。
OK, I guess this is gonna seem kinda bittersweet now, but...Joey, that's who.
我猜这似乎有点苦乐参半了，是乔伊！
Yeah, my agent just called me with an audition for Days of Our Lives!
是啊，我经纪人刚刚叫我去“我们的日子”试镜！
Kick ass!
太牛掰了！
Here's to Joey! Here Joey!
敬乔伊！
Oh, well, we have to celebrate. You know what we should do? We should do, like, a soap opera theme.
那我们必须要庆祝一下！你知道我们该怎么做嘛？我们应该开个肥皂剧主题派对。
Hey, yeah...we could all sleep together and then one of us could get amnesia.
对，我们可以一起上床，然后我们中的一个人可以得失忆（肥皂剧惯用情节）。
Hey Rach, what time do you get off? We're all gonna do something tonight.
瑞秋，你什么时候下班？我们晚上一起做点什么吧。
Umm.... well, actually I'm already done, but I...I kinda got plans.
额，事实上，我已经下班了，但我有其他计划了。
You have other friends?
你难道有别的朋友？
Yeah...I, uhh...I have a...I have a date.
对，我…我有一个约会。
What?
什么？
You have a date?
你有约会？
Yes. I have a date.
是的，我有个约会。
With a man?
跟男人？
No with a crouton. What? What is so strange for me having a date?
不，跟一个烤面包。怎么了啊？我有约会有什么可奇怪的。
With a crouton?
跟烤面包？
Rach, what about Ross? I mean, are you still mad at him 'cause he made that list about you?
那罗斯怎么办？你还在为他列单子的事在生他气吗？
Noooo, no, I'm not mad at him. I'm. . I'm not really anything at him anymore.
不…我不生他气了。我对他什么感觉也没有了。
What are you talking about?
你在胡说些什么啊？
I don't know. Whatwhatever I was feeling, I'm...not.
我不知道。不管我从前怎么样，现在我…没那种感觉了。
But you guys came so close.
但你俩就差一点点了。
Oh, I know, I'm sorry, you guys. You're just gonna have to get used to the fact that I will not be dating Ross.
我知道，对不起啦各位。你们必须得习惯，我不会跟罗斯约会这个事实。
Here he is. Hi. Guys, this is Russ.
他来了。各位，这是洛斯。
Hhhhiiiii.
嗨...
Estelle Leonard Talent Agency! Oh Stanley, would you stop calling me already? No, nononono. I'm not saying you're not talented. You're very talented.
艾斯黛·雷纳德明星经纪公司。哦塞米，你能不能别再给我打电话了？不不不，我不是说你没才华，你非常有才华。
It's just with the bird dead and all, there's very little act left. Oh, honey, give me a break, will ya? Ohhh, ooh, I'll talk to you later.
只是那只鸟死了之后，你剩下的戏份就很少了。亲爱的，放我一马，好吗？我等会儿再打给你。
Well, there's my favorite client. So tell me darling, how was the audition?
哦我最喜爱的客户来了。告诉我亲爱的，试镜结果如何？
Well, I think it went pretty well. I. . I got a callback for Thursday.
我觉得进行得满顺利的。他们要我周四复试。
Joey, have you ever seen me ecstatic?
乔伊，你见过我心醉神迷吗？
No.
没有。
Well, here it is.
那你见识看看。
OK, uh.... listen, there's something I wanna talk to you about. The network casting lady...
对了，我想跟你谈谈电视台的选角女士…
Oh, isn't Lori a doll?
哦罗莉是不是很棒？
Yeah, yeah, she is great, but...I kinda got the feeling that she was sorta...coming on to me.
是的，她是很棒。可是…我觉得她好像对我有那么一点点意思。
And I definitely would get the part if I would've...you know...if I would've sent the Little General in.
我觉得如果派我的“小将军”出马的话，我肯定就能得到那个角色。
Oh, I see. Well, I'm just gonna put in a call here and we'll find out what's going on and straighten it out. Yeah, hi, Lori please.
我懂了！我现在就打个电话…把事情搞清楚，看看究竟是怎么回事。你好啊，请接罗莉。
Hi darling. So how about Joey Tribbiani for the part of the cab driver, isn't he terrific? Uhhuuuuh. Uhhuuuuh. OK, doll. Talk to you later. Yeah, you're gonna have to sleep with her.
嗨亲爱的！乔伊崔比亚尼演计程车司机那个角色怎么样？他是不是太棒了？好的宝贝我们等会儿再谈。对，你必须跟她上床。
What's the matter?
你怎么了？
Fun Bobby.
是搞笑巴比。
What, isn't he sober?
怎么？他又喝酒了？
Oh, he's sober alright. Just turns out that Fun Bobby was fun for a reason.
他是没喝酒。只是我发现，搞笑巴比搞笑是有原因的。
Ohhh, OK.
好吧。
All right, here you go, sweetie.
拿去吧，亲爱的。
Thanks. You wanna hear something funny?
谢了。要不要听一个有趣的故事？
Oh God, yes!
哦上帝啊，要！
There are no hardware stores open past midnight in the Village.
只要一过了午夜，这附近的五金行就全都关门了。
That is funny.
好好笑哦。
I needed to buy a hammer the other night, and I'm out walking around the neighborhood, and I'm walking, and I'm walking, and I'm walking, and I'm walking....
前几天晚上我需要买一把锤子，我就出去在这附近逛了一逛。我一直走，一直走，一直走，一直走…
Ok so you were saying you were walking.
好了，你是说你一直在走？
but apparently there are no hardware stores open past midnight in the Village.
但是显然，这附近所有的五金行，一过了午夜之后都关门了。
Huh, soso it's a helpful fact as well as funny.
这真是个有帮助的事实，而且也很搞笑。
Ahhh, say honey, don't you have to be at your interview now?
亲爱的，你不是该去面试了吗？
Oh yeah.
是啊。
See you guys.
再见各位。
Bye...ridiculously dull Bobby.
拜拜…无聊至极的巴比。
Oh...my...God.
老天啊！
It's not that bad.
也没那么糟啦。
Not that bad? Did you not hear the hammer story?
没那么糟？你难道没有听到刚刚那个锤子的故事吗？
OK, OK, don't get all squinky.
好嘛好嘛，别那么挑剔嘛。
Maybe it was just the kind of story where you have to be there.
也许你只有身历其境才会觉得好笑啊。
But I'm gonna be there...for the rest of my life. I mean, I can't break up with him. I'm the one who made him quit drinking. He's dull because of me.
但我下半辈子都会身历其境啊！我不能跟他分手，是我叫他戒的酒。他是因为我才变得这么无聊的。
All right, don't say that. He's probably always been dull. You just, you know, set it free.
好了，别这么说了。也许他一直很无聊的，你只是…把那个无聊的他解放了。