Cam, are we terrible people?
小卡，我们是不是太坏了？
For protecting a Vanderkoff? He hanged himself last year. It's not like they're making more of those.
还不是为了保护范德考夫的沙发？他去年可是上吊自杀了。这玩意可是绝版，以后再也不会有了。
We just rolled a bipolar divorcee face-first onto a hardwood floor. All to protect a couch.
我们刚刚把一个双相情感障碍的离婚妇女给滚到硬木地板上去了，还是脸先落地。就为了保护个沙发。
It's not just a couch. Our one nice thing.
不只是个沙发，那是我们唯一的好东西。
The last seven years have been about sticky countertops and horsy shower curtains and childproof locks.
我们过去七年一直用着这种油腻腻的台面丑不拉几的浴帘，还有儿童安全锁。
Do you know what's in this drawer? I don't know what's in this drawer.
你知道这抽屉里是什么东西吗？我都不知道抽屉里是啥。
I have no idea. Look, I know it's frustrating, all right?
完全不知道。我知道这让人挺不爽的，好吧？
But is that really a reason to choose a thing over a person?
但这真是我们爱惜东西而不爱惜人的理由吗？
I mean, come on. We're no better than Doug.
拜托，我们简直跟道格是一个档次的。
I guess it's not a great example to set for Lily.
我觉得这对莉莉来说的确不是一个好榜样。

Maybe we don't deserve one nice thing.
也许我们并不值得拥有这么一件好东西。
"And when the sun came out, all the turtles, from Abner to Zeke, had fun at the picnic.
然后太阳升起了，所有的乌龟从小A到小Z都在野餐时愉快地玩耍。
A rainy day for turtles.
《乌龟们的下雨天》。
It always makes Lily feel better.
这本书总能让莉莉高兴起来。
I guess she just thought that...We do have one nice thing.
我想她是觉得...我们确实拥有一样好东西。
And a beautiful rain...
然后一场美丽的雨...
Well, we don't have to watch it die. Come on.
我们用不着非得看着它死去，走吧。
Let's go, Jay! We're supposed to be at the picnic in 20 minutes!
走吧，杰！我们二十分钟后就该到野餐地点了！
They've been living in a van for six years. They can wait a little longer.
他们在货车里都住了六年。多等一小会儿也不会怎么样。
So, today, instead of watching the game, I'll be playing lawn darts with Colombians, thanks to you not using your brain.
所以今天我是看不成球赛了，我得去跟哥伦比亚人在草地上玩飞镖谢谢你不长脑子。