Hey, I read that someone invented a way to convert your footsteps into electromagnetic energy so you can charge your cell phone while walking.
嘿，我看到有人发明了一种办法，可以将走路的能量转化成电磁能。这样就一边走一边能给手机充电了。
We had that idea years ago. How come we never did anything with it?
我们几年前就想到了这主意。怎么就没有进一步研究呢？
Probably because we left the diagram of it in the restaurant, and none of us wanted to walk back.
也许是因为我们把图落在了餐厅，没一个愿意走回去取。
I know the real reason you never made progress with that idea. You thought of it September 22,2007.
我知道你不进一步研究的真正原因。你是在2007年9月22日想到的。
Two days later, Penny moved in, and so much blood rushed to your genitals, your brain became a ghost town.
两天后 Penny搬了进来，你的血液都跑去生殖器了，所以大脑就空了。
That's not what happened.
不是这么回事。

I remember it distinctly because I had just composed my annual poem commemorating the anniversary of Dr. Seuss's death.
我记得很清楚，是因为我刚写完每年一次纪念苏斯博士逝世周年的诗歌。（ 苏斯博士：美国著名儿童教育绘本作家，逝世于1991年9月24日）
No one wants to hear it.
没人想听。
Why, die. Why did he die? Old, told. I was told he was old.
为什么会死？为什么他会死？老了，说了。我听说他老了。
Penny is not the reason I didn't pursue that idea.
Penny不是我没有深入研究的原因。
Oh, really? Since meeting her, what have been your greatest accomplishments?
真的？那认识她以后，你最大的成就是什么？
Easy. Sleeping with Penny.
简单。和Penny上床。
Getting Penny to go back out with him after she dumped him.
在Penny甩了他之后，把她争取了回来。
Tricking Penny into getting engaged.
骗Penny订婚。
And a few weeks ago, he almost did a pull-up.
几个星期前，他差点做成一个引体向上。
I think someone owes me an apology.
我觉得有人该道歉。
Well, don't feel bad. I think we've all been distracted since the girls entered our lives.
别自责。我觉得在姑娘们进入我们生活后，我们都被分神了。
You admit Amy's a distraction?
你承认Amy让你分神了？
Oh, very much so. Listen to this. This is from two days ago. "Hi. Hope you're having a good day." Who has time for this constant sexting?
太分神了。听听这个，两天前收到的："嗨，希望你今天愉快。"有谁会一直这样短信调情？