托福写作批改点评 第18期:TPO19综合写作批改
日期:2014-09-12 08:59

(单词翻译:单击)

Target text(文章正文):

The reading passage presents an idea that buzzers threaten consumers in many aspects. Nonetheless, Bill, a student as well as a part-time buzzer, casts doubt on this in the lecture. He points out that what the reading material mentioned is misleading.

Firstly, the reading passage contends that buzzers do not tell the truth but tell wrong information. However, Bill uses himself as a perfect example to contradict this viewpoint. The company hires buzzers who use its product and think its product is great, and they get paid in return. Despite a buzzer, Bill does think the phone services which he buzzes are good. Therefore, he does not mislead consumers.

For the second thing, according to the reading material, consumers become less critical when they listen to buzzers. Bill, on the contrary, refutes this saying. He presents us an explanation, pointing out that actually consumers ask a lot of questions about buzzers' products. If buzzers cannot reply with satisfying answers, consumers will not buy the products.

At last, the reading passage emphasizes that buzzing may exert detrimental impact on social relationships. Nevertheless, this is untrue in the lecture. Bill maintains that if buzzers have such harmful effects, the company will not recruit them. After consumers try buzzers' products and then enjoy good experiences, they will be more trustful of those, who work as buzzers.


TPO小站综合点评及批改意见:

语言表达流畅,基本没有出现语法错误。

逻辑清晰,信息表达完整。

预估分数:4

学习建议:

1、尽量多阅读范文,模仿好的文章中作者阐述论证观点的方式。

2、多阅读不同类型话题的文章,积累专业作家针对不同话题的观点内容。

3、可以多引用别人的观点内容。

4、阅读范文过程中,注意作者如何反向论证观点。

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重点单词
  • contradictvt. 反驳,与 ... 矛盾
  • explanationn. 解释,说明
  • impactn. 冲击(力), 冲突,影响(力) vt. 挤入,压紧
  • socialadj. 社会的,社交的 n. 社交聚会
  • contraryadj. 相反的,截然不同的 adv. 相反(地) n.
  • recruitv. 招募,征兵,吸收(新成员),补充 n. 新兵,新成
  • criticaladj. 批评的,决定性的,危险的,挑剔的 adj. 临
  • misleadvt. 误导,使产生错误印象,欺骗,使误入歧途
  • threatenv. 威胁,恐吓
  • neverthelessadv. 仍然,不过 conj. 然而,不过