In a peculiar environment such as Cambridge, it might be a positive advantage to enjoy homosexual experience, simply in terms of the opportunity for physical release.

在奇怪的环境中，例如剑桥，有一个有利的优势去享受同性恋，但只是生理方面。

The deprivation was not one of laws but of the spirit – a denial of identity.

难过之处，不是法律上的，而是精神上的――一种身份的拒绝。

Heterosexual love, desire and marriage were hardly free from problems and anguish, but had all the novels and songs ever written to express them.

异性恋的爱情、欲望和婚姻，尽管也有一些困难和痛苦，但还是会有很多的小说和音乐来表达和赞美它。

The homosexual equivalents were relegated – if mentioned at all – to the comic, the criminal, the pathological, or the disgusting.

而同性恋的价值，则是很低的，如果说得彻底些，是滑稽的，可耻的，病态的，恶心的。

To protect the self from these descriptions was hard enough, when they were embedded in the very words, the only words, that language offered.

当他们被嵌入这些词语时，想保护自己不受伤是很难的。

To keep the self a complete and consistent whole, rather than split into a facade of conformity, and a secret inner truth, was a miracle.

想保持一个完整的自我，不分裂成一个守法的表象和一个隐秘的内心，则更加难。

To be able to develop the self, to increase its inner connections and to communicate with others – that was next to impossible.

发展自己的社会交际，增加自己与别人的沟通，则是根本不可能的。