The only practice we’d had was reading out poems at morning assembly, but there was an older girl at school called Fatima who was a very good speaker. She was beautiful and spoke in an animated way. She could speak confidently in front of hundreds of people and they would hang on her every word. Moniba and I longed to be like her and studied her carefully.

我们唯一练习的机会，就是在早祷的时候朗诵诗歌。我们学校里有个年纪比较大的学生，她叫法蒂玛，是个很优秀的演讲者。法蒂玛长得漂亮，演讲时更是活泼生动，能在数百人面前自信满满地讲话，听众也会仔细聆听她说的每一个字。莫妮巴和我都很希望自己能像她一样，所以我们很仔细地观察她的一举一动。

In our culture speeches are usually written by our fathers, uncles or teachers. They tend to be in English or Urdu, not in our native Pashto. We thought speaking in English meant you were more intelligent. We were wrong, of course. It does not matter what language you choose, the important thing is the words you use to express yourself. Moniba’s speech was written by one of her older brothers. She quoted beautiful poems by Allama Iqbal, our national poet. My father wrote my speech. In it he argued that if you want to do good, but do it in a bad way, that’s still bad. In the same way, if you choose a good method to do something bad it’s still bad. He ended it with Lincoln’s words: ‘it is far more honourable to fail than to cheat’.

在我们的文化中，演讲稿往往由父亲、叔伯或是老师帮你写好，通常是用英文或乌尔都语，而不会是我们的母语--普什图语。我和莫妮巴当时觉得用英文演讲能显得自己比较聪明。这样的想法当然不对。重点不在于你选择使用哪一种语言，而是你用了什么样的内容来表达你的思想。莫妮巴的讲稿是由她的一个哥哥帮她写的，引用了我们国家的诗人阿拉马.伊克巴尔美丽的诗句。父亲帮我写了稿子。在稿子里，他强调：如果你想要做一件好事，但却要通过不好的方式来达成，就仍是件不好的事。同样，如果你选了一个好方法来做一件坏事，那么这仍旧是坏事。他用林肯的话作为结语：“失败远比作弊光荣得多。”

On the day only eight or nine boys and girls turned up. Moniba spoke well – she was very composed and her speech was more emotional and poetic than mine, though mine might have had the better message. I was so nervous before the speech, I was trembling with fear. My grandfather had come to watch and I knew he really wanted me to win the competition, which made me even more nervous. I remembered what my father had said about taking a deep breath before starting, but then I saw that all eyes were on me and I rushed through. I kept losing my place as the pages danced in my shaking hands, but as I ended with Lincoln’s words, I looked up at my father. He was smiling.

演讲当天只有八九个同学参加。莫妮巴的演讲极好。她表现得很沉稳，而且讲稿也远比我的更富有情感、更具诗意--虽然我的讲稿在意义上也许更深远些。上台前，我紧张极了，怕得全身颤抖。我的祖父也来了，我知道他真的很希望我能赢得比赛，这让我更加紧张。我记得父亲说过，开始演讲前要先深呼吸。但当我看见所有人的眼光都聚集在我身上时，就忘掉了。我阵脚大乱，稿子在我颤抖的手上晃个不停，但当我用林肯说的话做了结语后，我抬头看向父亲，发现他的脸上挂着微笑。

When the judges announced the results at the end, Moniba had won. I came second.

评审最后宣布名次，莫妮巴得了第一，我则是第二。

It didn’t matter. Lincoln also wrote in the letter to his son’s teacher, ‘Teach him how to gracefully lose.’ I was used to coming top of my class. But I realised that, even if you win three or four times, the next victory will not necessarily be yours without trying – and also that sometimes it’s better to tell your own story. I started writing my own speeches and changing the way I delivered them, from my heart rather than from a sheet of paper.

名次并不重要，因为林肯在给儿子老师的信里还写道：“请教导他如何当个有风度的败将。”我已经习惯当班上的第一名了，但我发现，就算你已经连续赢了三四次，如果不够努力，下次的冠军不见得一定还是你。而且有时候，你自己的故事才是最好的故事。于是我开始自己写讲稿，并改变演讲的方式：不再只是读稿子，而是让文字从心里流出来。 果你选了一个好方法来做一件坏事，那么这仍旧是坏事。他用林肯的话作为结语：“失败远比作弊光荣得多。”