The first thing Arthur Dent had to do, he realised resignedly, was to get himself a life. This meant he had to find a planet he could have one on. It had to be a planet he could breathe on, where he could stand up and sit down without experiencing gravitational discomfort. It had to be somewhere where the acid levels were low and the plants didn’t actually attack you.

阿瑟.邓特必须要干的第一件事，他无可奈何地承认，就是给自己找个生活。这就意味着他必须找个能在上头生活的星球。在那个星球上，大气必须足够供他呼吸，酸度也得低些；他要可以随便起立，坐下，而不会遇上重力方面的困扰。另外，植物最好别对他发动攻击。

‘I hate to be anthropic about this,’ he said to the strange thing behind the desk at the Resettlement Advice Centre on Pintleton Alpha, ‘but I’d quite like to live somewhere where the people look vaguely like me as well. You know. Sort of human.’

“我不想老说什么人类学。”他来到品脱理敦.阿尔法的再定居咨询中心，对桌子后边那个古怪的东西说，“不过我真的希望那儿的居民跟我自己有些相似。你知道。像人那样。”

The strange thing behind the desk waved some of its stranger bits around and seemed rather taken aback by this. It oozed and glopped off its seat, thrashed its way slowly across the floor, ingested the old metal filing cabinet and then, with a great belch, excreted the appropriate drawer. It popped out a couple of glistening tentacles from its ear, removed some files from the drawer, sucked the drawer back in and vomited up the cabinet again. It thrashed its way back across the floor, slimed its way back up on to the seat and slapped the files on the table.

桌后的那个怪东西挥舞着自己长的那些个怪部件，仿佛被阿瑟的要求吓了一跳。它从椅子上咕咚咕咚地溜下来，慢吞吞，挺费劲地吧嗒着到另外一边，把老旧的金属文件柜咽下去，然后，随着一个大饱嗝，吐出存着相关信息的抽屉。他的耳朵里突然伸出几根闪闪发光的触手，从抽屉里取出几份文件，把抽屉塞进嘴里然后再把文件柜呕了出来。它吧嗒着回桌子跟前，黏糊糊地贴上座位，把文件拍在桌上。

‘See anything you fancy?’ it asked.

“有你喜欢的吗？”它问。

Arthur looked nervously through some grubby and damp pieces of paper. He was definitely in some backwater part of the Galaxy here, and somewhere off to the left as far as the universe he knew and recognised was concerned. In the space where his own home should have been there was a rotten hick planet, drowned with rain and inhabited by thugs and boghogs. Even The Hitch Hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy seemed to work only fitfully here, which was why he was reduced to making these sorts of enquiries in these sorts of places. One place he always asked after was Stavromula Beta, but no one had ever heard of such a planet.

阿瑟忧心忡忡地翻开这些潮湿邋遢的纸。他显然是来到了银河系的偏远山区，而且，跟他熟识的那个宇宙相比，明显过于偏左。在原本应该是他家的地方只有一个臭烘烘地土包子行星，整年泡在雨水里，被虫子和泽猪霸占着。就连《银河系漫游指南》在这儿也搞得好像中了风，所以他才不得不跑到这种地方来问这种问题。在一个地方阿瑟每次都会提到，斯达弗洛穆拉贝塔，可从没人听说过这么一个星球。

The available worlds looked pretty grim. They had little to offer him because he had little to offer them. He had been extremely chastened to realise that although he originally came from a world which had cars and computers and ballet and armagnac he didn’t, by himself, know how any of it worked. He couldn’t do it. Left to his own devices he couldn’t build a toaster. He could just about make a sandwich and that was it. There was not a lot of demand for his services.

可供选择的星球看起来都有些倒胃口。人家没什么可给他的，因为他自己就没什么可给人家的。阿瑟意识到，尽管自己生在一个拥有汽车，电脑，巴黎和阿马涅克白兰地的星球，可他本人并不知道这些东西是怎么回事。他干不了。要让他自己想办法的话他的确造不出烤面包机，至多只能做个三明治，而且也就到此为止了，还真没多少星球会需要他的服务。认识到这一点之后，阿瑟更加谦卑了些。

Arthur’s heart sank. This surprised him, because he thought it was already about as low as it could possibly be. He closed his eyes for a moment. He so much wanted to be home. He so much wanted his own home world, the actual Earth he had grown up on, not to have been demolished. He so much wanted none of this to have happened. He so much wanted that when he opened his eyes again he would be standing on the doorstep of his little cottage in the west country of England, that the sun would be shining over the green hills, the post van would be going up the lane, the daffodils would be blooming in his garden, and in the distance the pub would be opening for lunch. He so much wanted to take the newspaper down to the pub and read it over a pint of bitter. He so much wanted to do the crossword. He so much wanted to be able to get completely stuck on 17 across.

他的心沉了下去，这让他吃惊，因为他原以为它的节奏已经慢到极点，再没有下降的空间了。他闭了会眼睛。他真希望能回家。他真希望自己原来的世界——他长大的那个真正的地球——没被人家抹掉。他真希望这一切都没有发生。他真希望等他再次睁开眼睛的时候，他会发现自己站在英格兰西南部的那个小村子里，站在自家小屋门前的阶梯上，希望看见太阳照耀着绿色的小山，看见邮车爬上下路，水仙花在他的花园里绽放，远处的酒吧开门卖午餐。他真希望能买份报纸去酒吧，来杯苦啤酒边喝边看报。他真希望能再做一回报上的填字游戏。他真希望能又在做到横排第十七个字的时候搞的一头雾水再也做不下去。

He opened his eyes.

他睁开眼睛。