‘OK, OK,’ panted the robot. ‘The Guide has been taken over. There’s a new management. It’s all so gorgeous I could just melt. The old management was also fabulous of course, though I’m not sure if I thought so at the time.’

“好的，好的。”机器人气喘吁吁地说起来，“《指南》被接管了。换了新的管理层。一切都那么棒，哦，我简直快融化了。当然老的管理层也一样棒，虽然我不大确定自己当时是不是这么想的。”

‘That was before you had a bit of wire stuck in your head.’

“那是在你脑子里给插了根电线之前。”

‘How true. How wonderfully true. How wonderfully, bubblingly, frothingly, burstingly true. What a truly ecstasy-inducingly correct observation.’

“一点不假。哦，半点不假。真正半点都没有掺假。多么令人神魂颠倒的洞察力啊。”

‘What’s happened?’ insisted Ford. ‘Who is this new management? When did they take over? I… oh, never mind,’ he added, as the little robot started to gibber with uncontrollable joy and rub itself against his knee. ‘I’ll go and find out for myself.’ Ford hurled himself at the door of the editor-in-chief’s office, tucked himself into a tight ball as the frame splintered and gave way, rolled rapidly across the floor to where the drinks trolley laden with some of the Galaxy’s most potent and expensive beverages habitually stood, seized hold of the trolley and, using it to give himself cover, trundled it and himself across the main exposed part of the office floor to where the valuable and extremely rude statue of Leda and the Octopus stood, and took shelter behind it. Meanwhile the little security robot, entering at chest height, was suicidally delighted to draw gunfire away from Ford.

“到底发生了什么事？”福特持之以恒，“新管理层是些什么人？他们什么时候接手的？我……哦算了。”他临时改变了主意，因为小机器人已经无法抑制自己的喜悦之情，开始一边叽里呱啦一边往他膝盖上蹭，“我还是去看看得了。” 他冲到总编办公室门口，紧紧地蜷成一个球往上撞；门吱嘎吱嘎地裂开，福特立马滚进去，直滚到一辆手推车跟前——里头通常放满了银河系最够劲最烧钱的酒精饮料；他抓住手推车为自己制造出掩护，把自己和手推车一起推过办公室里最主要的开阔地，抵达那尊出奇贵重，出奇粗俗的“丽达与章鱼”所在的位置，然后拿它作掩护躲起来。与此同时，刚才的保安机器人乐呵呵地从福特胸口高度飞进门里，不知死活地把火力从他身上吸引开。

That, at least, was the plan, and a necessary one. The current editor-in-chief, Stagyar-zil-Doggo, was a dangerously unbalanced man who took a homicidal view of contributing staff turning up in his office without pages of fresh, proofed copy, and had a battery of laser guided guns linked to special scanning devices in the door frame to deter anybody who was merely bringing extremely good reasons why they hadn’t written any. Thus was a high level of output maintained.

至少福特计划如此，而计划是绝对必要的。《指南》的这一任主编，斯塔格亚-兹尔-多哥，是个情绪失衡的危险人物，对于胆敢走进自己办公室的下属，如果他们手头没有新鲜出炉，校对完整的稿子，斯塔格亚绝对抱有带谋杀性质的想法。他还装备了一组激光定位的枪炮，跟门框上特制的扫描仪相连，扫描仪可以侦测出任何仅仅带着各种及其充分的理由就胆敢跑来他办公室的人，如此一来就保证了很高的出稿率。

Unfortunately the drinks trolley wasn’t there.

不幸的是，装酒的手推车并不在那个位置上。

Ford hurled himself desperately sideways and somersaulted towards the statue of Leda and the Octopus, which also wasn’t there. He rolled and hurtled around the room in a kind of random panic, tripped, span, hit the window, which fortunately was built to withstand rocket attacks, rebounded, and fell in a bruised and winded heap behind a smart grey crushed leather sofa, which hadn’t been there before.

福特绝望地往旁边冲，几个跟斗翻到丽达与章鱼的雕像跟前，不过它也不在。他惊恐失措地在屋里随机翻滚，冲刺，绊跤，晕头转向，撞上玻璃——幸好玻璃是防火箭的——弹回来，掉下来，最后伤痕累累，气喘吁吁地瘫倒在一张漂亮的灰色皱皮沙发背后——这沙发过去倒是从来没见过。

After a few seconds he slowly peeked up above the top of the sofa. As well as there being no drinks trolley and no Leda and the Octopus, there had also been a startling absence of gunfire. He frowned. This was all utterly wrong.

几秒钟以后，他小心翼翼地从沙发顶上往外偷看，屋里不仅缺了手推车，丽达与章鱼，让人心惊胆战的枪声也没了。他皱起眉头。真是一塌糊涂。

‘Mr. Prefect, I assume,’ said a voice.

“福特先生，我猜是。”一个声音说。

The voice came from a smooth-faced individual behind a large ceramo-teak-bonded desk. Stagyar-zil-Doggo may well have been a hell of an individual, but no one, for a whole variety of reasons, would ever have called him smooth-faced. This was not Stagyar-zil-Doggo.

声音来自一张陶面柚木大书桌背后，说话的是某个一脸假惺惺的家伙。斯塔格亚这人或许真的拥有许多非凡的特质，可由于这样那样各式各样的原因，绝对没人会说他一脸假惺惺。这人不是斯塔格亚-兹尔-多哥。

‘I assume from the manner of your entrance that you do not have new material for the, er, Guide, at the moment,’ said the smooth-faced individual. He was sitting with his elbows resting on the table and holding his fingertips together in a manner which, inexplicably, has never been made a capital offence.

“根据你的出场的风格，我推测你眼下没给，呃，《指南》，带来什么新材料。”那个假惺惺的家伙说。他的胳膊肘支在书桌上，手指尖交叉在一起。也不知道为什么，这动作至今还没被列为重大刑事犯罪。

‘I’ve been busy,’ said Ford, rather weakly. He staggered to his feet, brushing himself down. Then he thought, what the hell was he saying things weakly for? He had to get on top of this situation. He had to find out who the hell this person was, and he suddenly thought of a way of doing it.

“我一直在忙。”福特很有些缺乏底气。他晃晃悠悠地站起来，拍拍衣服。然后他想，该死，我干嘛要底气不足？我得掌控大局才行。我得闹明白这家伙他妈的到底是谁。然后，他突然想出了一个法子。

‘Who the hell are you?’ he demanded.

“你他妈到底是谁？”他问。