英文原版

“Excuse me, sir?” said the insect icily. It did not care to be addressed in this manner.
“Zarniwoop. Get him, right? Get him now.”
“Well, sir,” snapped the fragile little creature, “if you could be a little cool about it…”
“Look,” said Zaphod, “I’m up to here with cool, OK? I’m so amazingly cool you could keep a side of meat inside me for a month. I am so hip I have difficulty seeing over my pelvis. Now will you move before you blow it?”
“Well, if you’d let me explain, sir,” said the insect tapping the most petulant of all the tentacles at its disposal, “I’m afraid that isn’t possible right now as Mr. Zarniwoop is on an intergalactic cruise.”
Hell, thought Zaphod.
“When he’s going to be back?” he said.
“Back sir? He’s in his office.”
Zaphod paused while he tried to sort this particular thought out in his mind. He didn’t succeed.
“This cat’s on an intergalactic cruise… in his office?” He leaned forward and gripped the tapping tentacle.
“Listen, three eyes,” he said, “don’t you try to outweird me. I get stranger things than you free with my breakfast cereal.”
“Well, just who do you think you are, honey?” flounced the insect quivering its wings in rage, “Zaphod Beeblebrox or something?”
“Count the heads,” said Zaphod in a low rasp.
The insect blinked at him. It blinked at him again.
“You are Zaphod Beeblebrox?” it squeaked.
“Yeah,” said Zaphod, “but don’t shout it out or they’ll all want one.”
“The Zaphod Beeblebrox?”
“No, just a Zaphod Beeblebrox, didn’t you hear I come in six packs?”
The insect rattled its tentacles together in agitation.
“But sir,” it squealed, “I just heard on the sub-ether radio report. It said that you were dead…”
“Yeah, that’s right,” said Zaphod, “I just haven’t stopped moving yet. Now. Where do I find Zarniwoop?”
“Well, sir, his office is on the fifteenth floor, but…”
“But he’s on an intergalactic cruise, yeah, yeah, how do I get to him.”
“The newly installed Sirius Cybernetics Corporation Vertical People Transporters are in the far corner sir. But sir…”
Zaphod was turning to go. He turned back.
“Yeah?” he said.
“对不起，先生？”虫子冷冰冰地说。它不太喜欢人家用这种语气跟它说话。
“扎尼乌普。给我找到他，听见了吗？马上把他给我找来。”
“嗯，先生，”这只纤细的生物厉声说，“如果你能够稍微冷静一点儿的话……”
“你瞧，”赞福德说，“我来这儿的时候很冷静，不是吗？我非常冷静，拿半片肉放到我身上，保证一个月都不会坏。我非常沉着，沉得屁股都大了。在我一屁崩死你之前，请你赶快找到他。好吗？”
“嗯，如果你允许我解释的话，先生，”虫子说，一边准备好自己最凶猛的那只触角，“你想见他，但现在恐怕不行，因为扎尼乌普先生正在进行一次星系际巡航。”
该死，赞福德想。
“他什么时候回来？”他问。
“回来，先生？可他就在他的办公室啊。”
赞福德顿了一下，想把这句别别扭扭的话理出个头绪来，但没有成功。
“这只傻猫正在进行一次星系际巡航……在他的办公室里？”他往前一靠，一把抓住那只正在敲击的触角。
“听着，三只眼的家伙，”他说，“想搞怪，你怪得过我？我碰上的怪事多了，比你免掉我的早餐餐费更怪的事儿我都遇上过。”
“那么，你以为你是谁呢，亲爱的？”虫子挣扎着，愤怒地扑打着它的翅膀。“赞福德·毕博布鲁克斯吗，还是别的什么人？”
“数数我的脑袋吧。”赞福德刺耳地低声说到。
虫子冲他眨了眨眼。然后又眨了眨。
“你就是赞福德·毕博布鲁克斯？”它尖声说。
“是的，”赞福德说，“但别大声叫出来。否则这儿的所有人都会惦记我的。”
“那个赞福德·毕博布鲁克斯？”
“不，只是一个赞福德·毕博布鲁克斯。你怎么想的？半打赞福德·毕博布鲁克斯打包趸卖？”
虫子激动万分，触角相击，叭叭作响。
“可是，先生，”它尖声说，“我刚刚才听了亚以太广播报道，里面说您已经死了……”
“是的，没错，”赞福德说，“我只是还在四下闲逛而已。现在，告诉我，我在哪儿能找到扎尼乌普？”
“嗯，先生，他的办公室在15层，可是——”
“可是他正在进行一次星系际巡航，是吗？我要怎样才能见到他？”
“最新组装完成的天狼星控制系统公司快乐人体垂直传送器就在远处的那个角落，先生。可是，先生……”
赞福德已经转身准备离开了。他又转回来。
“什么事？”他问。

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