And now we have the answer to the question: What would my British luxury convertible sound like if it were entered in the B-main at Eldora?
现在我们可以回答这样一个问题了：如果让我的英国豪华敞篷车去参加埃尔多拉的B-Main比赛，那么它听起来会是什么样的声音？
Not sitting in one right now? Poor thing. Here are some factoids to tide you over: Our test car was the F-Type with a 5.0-liter supercharged V8 (495 hp and 460 pound-feet of torque) mounted front-midships in the all-aluminum monocoque chassis and buttoned to an absolutely stellar eight-speed automatic gearbox with paddle shifters, a transmission that could vary in demeanor from syrupy smooth to taut as a strained leash, again depending on throttle delta and where the switches are set. The same is true of F-Type's torque-vectoring/limited-slip rear differential, which will allow you to dial up the tire smoke at will. You can also turn traction control off, but I didn't, and you shouldn't. You could smoke-screen a bank robbery with this car.
没开过？太可惜了。先拿些宣传资料将就一下：我们测试的F-Type型号拥有5.0升增压式V8发动机（495马力、625牛•米扭矩），以前方中置的方式安装在全铝单体结构底盘上，连接着带半自动换挡拨片的一流八速自动变速箱。这台变速箱既可像糖浆般顺滑，又可牢固得像牵狗绳一样紧致，具体怎样还是得看油门和挡位。F-Type的扭矩矢量分配/防滑后差速器也是一样，将使你能够随心所欲地腾起烟雾。你也可以关闭牵引力控制系统，但我没那么做，你也不应该关闭。开这款车你可以为别人抢银行放烟幕弹打掩护。
The F-Type is a new product for Jaguar, and in some respects, a new business. Jag has lately made some very fast big cars─XJ, XK, XF─but a proper compact sports coupe/convertible, a la 911? Not since the days of polio. Let's stop the clock at the Jaguar XK150, circa 1961. Interestingly, the F-Type is 176 inches long, within an inch of the XK150, but more than a foot wider.
F-Type是捷豹的新品，从某些方面来说，也是它的一项新业务。近期捷豹造出了一些非常快的大车，如XJ、XK、XF，但有没有像保时捷911一样中规中矩的紧凑型四门/敞篷跑车呢？从美国流行小儿麻痹症的日子以来就没有过。差不多也就到捷豹XK150吧，也就是1961年左右。有意思的是，F-Type长度为176英寸（4.47米），比XK150差了一英寸（2.54厘米），但要宽1英尺（0.30米）以上。
The F-Type is a beaut, all right. The design of the front third of the car was heavily constrained by factors such as the size of the V-8 engine; hood height driven by pedestrian safety requirements; ventilation and cooling requirements; and accommodating Jaguar's grille design, the down-the-road graphic. Straight on, the F-Type looks like pure appetite, or the world's angriest Pokémon.
F-Type是一个尤物。车身前三分之一的设计严重受制于一些因素：比如V8发动机尺寸、行人安全要求造成的发动机顶盖高度、通风与制冷要求、捷豹格栅设计风格（即单一大弧度线条的视觉形象“down-the-road graphic”）等。坦白地说，F-Type纯粹为欲望而设计，或像是世界上最愤怒的口袋妖怪(Pokemon)。
It's the flanks that make this car. Note the sucked-in contour at the lower door ahead of the rear wheel arch; note also the eye-fooling black rocker panels (the panels under the doors) that helps control spray and manage underbody aero without compromising that athletic waist. Note the edged-blade fineness of the rear fenders and decklid. The glowering taillamps, the chrome quad tailpipes. Hello, Bishop.
该车最大的特色是其侧翼。请注意后轮拱罩前面车门下部的吸入式轮廓，也请注意给人错觉的黑色踏脚板（门下的踏板）。踏脚板控制溅水，控制车底气流，同时又不牺牲腰部的美感。请注意后挡泥板和行李箱盖的严丝合缝。以及怒目而视的尾灯，镀铬的四根排气管。主教，您好！
The cabin is a parade of right choices: The interior is sober and coolly modern, with LED-illuminated instrumentation and grace notes of materiality, such as the nubbed-rubber-and-aluminum toggles for the climate control or the bronze-like 'Ignis' metal on the start button, the shifter paddles and the dynamics switch. The leather sports seats, the same as in the XKR-S, are terrific. The F-Type's signature bit of drama is its powered climate vent that rises from the smooth slope of the upper dash. Too cool for school.
驾驶室就是各种正确选择的组合：内饰沉稳、充满现代气息， LED照明的仪表盘，优雅有质感的用料，比如气候控制面板上用突点橡胶与铝材制成的蒙皮、以及启动键、换挡拨片和动态换挡器上貌似青铜的“Ignis”金属等。皮革运动座椅跟XKR-S的一致，都非常棒。F-Type标志性的夸张之处在它的电动通风口，直接从仪表板上部的圆润斜坡升出，不拘一格。
Some official numbers for the F-Type V8 S Roadster: 3,671 pounds (about 300 pounds more than the comparable Porsche 911 S Cabriolet); 0-60 mph in 4.2 seconds; 186 mph top speed. Those last three metrics are practically identical to those of the Porsche. Length, width, height are within fractions of the Porsche's.
F-Type V8 S跑车的一些官方数据：3,671磅（1,665千克，比同档次的保时捷911 S Cabriolet重约136千克）；0到60英里（约100公里）时速4.2秒；最高时速186英里（约300公里）。三个指标与保时捷几乎一致。长、宽、高与保时捷相比也相差不大。
Stuttgart, knock knock. Candygram.
斯图加特(Stuttgart)，开开门，有人给你送糖果。
At this point I'd ask the general reader to stand aside and let the nerds have the floor while I answer the question, How's it handle? Well, again, depending on where the dynamics switches are set. There's the one big go-fast switch in the gearshift console, or you can use the 5-inch touch-screen interface to dial in steering, suspension and powertrain parameters individually, though why?
到这个时候，我想请普通读者站到一边，让技术派来听我讲它的操控感。感觉是怎样的呢？嗯，和之前说的一样，这还得看动态挡位设在哪儿。变速杆控制台里面有一个巨大的加速挡，你也可以在5英寸（约合13厘米）触摸屏界面上一项项地输入方向控制、悬挂和传动参数，不过干吗要这么干呢？
Theoretically, being a front-engine car, the F-Type should be slower to rotate in a corner than the rear-engine 911, due to F-Type's distribution of mass and lower polar moment. Translation: The rear-engined car should be more nimble, more lively.
从理论上讲，作为一款发动机前置的汽车，由于质量的分布和更低的极惯性矩，F-Type在拐弯时应该比发动机后置的保时捷911慢。也就是说，发动机后置的车应该更敏捷、更活泼。
I suppose if we were to look at the telemetry for both cars around a racetrack, that might prove true, but the effect would be minimal. Modern suspension kinematics and tire design almost entirely neutralize the penalties of either front- or rear-engine layout.
如果看一下两款车在赛道上的遥测数据，我想这话或许是对的，但其影响极其细微。现代悬挂动力学与轮胎设计，几乎已将发动机前置或后置布局所造成的劣势给完全中和了。
In any event, the F-Type feels like it can match the 911 step for step. The front-end bites hard, the suspension composes itself instantly after initial turn-in, and the car puts a shoulder down. Midcorner, with the throttle held steady and the steering cranked, on the 20-inch Cyclone wheels and sport tires, the F-Type just rips and spits incandescently.
不管怎样，F-Type感觉可以跟保时捷911并驾齐驱。前端凌厉，悬架在最初的弯折之后立即恢复稳定，整车呈蓄势待发状。在中速拐弯时，在油门保持稳定并启动转向装置的情况下，依靠20英寸（约50厘米）的Cyclone车轮和运动型车胎，F-Type只管劈波斩浪，蔚为壮观。
So Jag has built a car that satisfies our most refined aesthetic senses while manipulating the lowest regions of the lizard-y male mind. I feel so used.
总之，捷豹打造了一款跑车，既满足了我们最纯粹的审美、同时又操纵着男性原始思维里最深层的部分。我觉得自己被利用了。
And yet, I'm somehow OK with that.
不过我倒觉得无所谓。