After working five years as a regional director at a large health insurer in Oakland, Calif., Daniel Eddleman felt ready to move up the ladder. So he found a mentor within the company who agreed with Mr. Eddleman that his performance and leadership ability merited the promotion.
在加州奥克兰一家大型医疗保险公司担任了五年区域总监之后，丹尼尔埃德曼(Daniel Eddleman)觉得自己已做好了晋升的准备。因此，他在公司内部找了一名与他意见一致的导师，认为他凭借自身业绩和领导能力理应升职。
But he'd need to work on a few soft skills to clinch the job. 'It can be a challenging environment to get noticed in because it's such a big organization,' says Mr. Eddleman, who connected with a job coach who helped him identify and work on three weak areas─including the ability to self-assess, manage his emotions and brag.
不过，若要赢得那个职位，他还需磨炼几项软技能。埃德曼说：“公司的规模非常大，要在那种环境中获得关注可能会很困难。”为此他联系了一名职场教练，后者帮助他确定并加强他的三个弱项，其中包括自我评价、情绪控制和自夸的能力。
'I realized that I can sometimes come on too strong. I learned to let the moment pass so I could have the space to make a calm decision. I also learned how to acknowledge my own accomplishments to the right people by feathering them into conversation, which is something that I've never been comfortable doing,' says Mr. Eddleman, who ended up getting the promotion to vice president.
埃德曼说：“我意识到自己有时候会表现得过于强硬，我学会了缓一缓，这样我就能有余地做出冷静的决定。我还学会了如何就我自己的成就向适当的人表示感谢，在谈话中提到他们，这一点我以前是从来都不愿意做的。”最终他被提拔为副总裁。
Most people are terrible at self-assessment, a core skill that is needed to succeed, says Peggy Klaus, an executive coach from Berkeley, Calif., and author of 'Brag! The Art of Tooting Your Own Horn Without Blowing It.'
来自加州伯克利的高管教练佩吉克劳斯(Peggy Klaus)称，大多数人都很不善于自我评价，而这是获得成功所需的一项核心技能。克劳斯也是《自夸之道：如何巧妙地展现自我》(Brag! The Art of Tooting Your Own Horn Without Blowing It)一书的作者。
'It's not easy to turn the mirror back on yourself and be absolutely honest,' she says. 'And it's hard for other people to give difficult feedback. But you need to encourage honest feedback from third parties…who can help give you a more objective viewpoint that you can act on.'
她说：“要把自己的方方面面都展现出来，又要做到绝对诚实并非易事，而且做出不利的反馈对别人来说也很难。但是你需要劝说第三方给予诚实的评价......他们能给你带来一个你能据此行事的更客观的视角。”
Although hard skills like sales and software knowledge can get you through the door, more companies are asking for soft skills as well from job candidates, finds a recent study by Millennial Branding, a consulting firm in Boston.
波士顿咨询公司Millennial Branding近期一项研究发现，尽管销售能力和软件知识等硬技能能让你获得工作机会，但更多企业要求求职者也具备一些软技能。
Soft skills refer to personal aptitudes and attitudes, such as being a good listener and communicator, that affect how people perceive you in the workplace and strongly influence workplace relationships. Fortunately, most soft skills can be adjusted or learned on your own time with some feedback from peers.
软技能指一些个人天赋和态度，比如说善于倾听、擅长交流等，它们会影响职场中别人对你的看法并且对职场关系具有巨大影响。幸运的是，大多数软技能是可以利用你自己的时间根据同事的一些评价来调整或学习的。
Here are a few day-to-day skills that can play a big role in determining whether you get promoted, hired or even fired:
下文列出了一些日常技能，它们在决定你是否能升职、获聘甚至是否会被炒鱿鱼的过程中发挥着巨大作用。
Compile two lists to use as an action guide. One should itemize what you do well and the second should list improvements others would like to see in you, says Gabriela Cora, an executive coach in Miami. 'You have to be open for that feedback and willing to work on those points. And don't just ask people that you're friendly with. Ask a couple of people that you're always competing against or people that you butt heads with.'
制订两份清单作为行动指南。迈阿密高管教练加布里埃拉科拉(Gabriela Cora)称，其中一份清单应逐项列出你擅长的事情，另一份则应列出其他人希望看到发生在你身上的进步。他说：“你得能接受那些评价并愿意去加强那些方面。不要只问和你关系好的人，也要问几个一直和你有竞争关系或是与你有冲突的人。”
Learn to control your emotions, and you should see a quick improvement in your working relationships. Uncover what your emotional triggers are so you can predict and head off any potentially rash or embarrassing responses to peers or bosses. Emotional outbursts aren't viewed favorably in most workplaces, which is why you should just excuse yourself from meetings or work if you feel emotionally overwhelmed.
学会控制自己的情绪，你应该能发现你的职场关系很快就会有改善。发现你的情绪触点是什么，如此你便能预测和避免可能对同事或老板做出的任何鲁莽或令人尴尬的举动。在大多数工作场所中，情绪发作都不会给人好印象，所以说如果你觉得情绪无法控制，应当就不要参加会议或上班了。
Know your limits. This can not only preserve your health and sanity, it can keep you from exceeding your limits and making mistakes that can hurt your career. If you can only handle five of seven tasks, for instance, that's something you need to talk to your boss about, says Ms. Klaus, who had a client who got saddled with two jobs and ended up hospitalized because of stress and overwork.
了解自己的极限。这不仅能保持你身心的健康，还能防止你超越自己的极限、犯下可能会损害你事业的错误。克劳斯称，比如说如果你只能应付七件任务中的五件，你就需要和老板谈一谈这件事了。她就有一名客户背负着两份工作的重担，最终因压力大和工作过度而住进了医院。
'Your manager may not even know how swamped you are if you keep taking on additional work without question,' she says. 'You need to outline very specifically what's on your plate, how much more you can handle, if any, and prioritize what needs to be done.'
她指出：“假如你不断毫无异议地承担额外的工作，你的主管甚至可能都不知道你有多么力不从心。你需要非常具体地列出手头的工作，如果还有其他工作，你还能再处理多少，并将需要做的事情排出优先顺序。”
Most people are uncomfortable with self-promotion, but hard work doesn't always get noticed without a little help. There are plenty of mediocre employees who get promoted because they're good at letting the bosses know how good they are at their jobs, says Ms. Klaus. 'You simply want to let other people know who you are and what you've accomplished in a very gracious and artfully skillful way.' For example, don't just boast, tell stories that frame your achievements in an entertaining narrative way.
大多数人对自我推销都不甚自在，但是如果没有一些帮助，你的辛勤工作也不总是会受到关注。克劳斯说，有许多业绩平平的员工获得提拔，那是因为他们善于让老板了解他们是多么擅长自己的工作。她说：“你只不过想以一种非常谦和极其巧妙的方式让人知道你是谁、你取得过什么成绩。”打个比方说，不要只是自夸，以一种令人愉快的叙事方式去讲述能将你的成绩结合其中的事件。