名著阅读

Starting up from this dream, he felt encompassed by a deep sadness. Worthless, so it seemed to him, worthless and pointless was the way he had been going through life; nothing which was alive, nothing which was in some way delicious or worth keeping he had left in his hands. Alone he stood there and empty like a castaway on the shore.
With a gloomy mind, Siddhartha went to the pleasure-garden he owned, locked the gate, sat down under a mango-tree, felt death in his heart and horror in his chest, sat and sensed how everything died in him, withered in him, came to an end in him. By and by, he gathered his thoughts, and in his mind, he once again went the entire path of his life, starting with the first days he could remember. When was there ever a time when he had experienced happiness, felt a true bliss? Oh yes, several times he had experienced such a thing. In his years as a boy, he has had a taste of it, when he had obtained praise from the Brahmans, he had felt it in his heart: "There is a path in front of the one who has distinguished himself in the recitation of the holy verses, in the dispute with the learned ones, as an assistant in the offerings." Then, he had felt it in his heart: "There is a path in front of you, you are destined for, the gods are awaiting you." And again, as a young man, when the ever rising, upward fleeing, goalof all thinking had ripped him out of and up from the multitude of those seeking the same goal, when he wrestled in pain for the purpose of Brahman, when every obtained knowledge only kindled new thirst in him, then again he had, in the midst of the thirst, in the midst of the pain felt this very same thing: "Go on! Go on! You are called upon!" He had heard this voice when he had left his home and had chosen the life of a Samana, and again when he had gone away from the Samanas to that perfected one, and also when he had gone away from him to the uncertain. For how long had he not heard this voice any more, for how long had he reached no height any more, how even and dull was the manner in which his path had passed through life, for many long years, without a high goal, without thirst, without elevation, content with small lustful pleasures and yet never satisfied! For all of these many years, without knowing it himself, he had tried hard and longed to become a man like those many, like those children, and inall this, his life had been much more miserable and poorer than theirs, and their goals were not his, nor their worries; after all, that entire world of the Kamaswami-people had only been a game to him, a dance he would watch, a comedy. Only Kamala had been dear, had been valuable to him--but was she still thus? Did he still need her, or she him? Did they not play a game without an ending? Was it necessary to live for this? No, it was not necessary! The name of this game was Sansara, a game for children, a game which was perhaps enjoyable to play once, twice, ten times--but for ever and ever over again?
Then, Siddhartha knew that the game was over, that he could not play it any more. Shivers ran over his body, inside of him, so he felt, something had died.
从这个梦中惊醒后，他感到自己被深沉的悲哀包围着。毫无价值，他觉得自己过的生活真是既无价值又无意义，并没有留下什么生动的东西，也没有留下珍贵的或者值得保存的东西。他孑然孤立，空落落的，就像岸边的一只破船。
席特哈尔塔阴郁地走进了一个属于他自己的花园，锁好小门，坐到一棵芒果树下，感受到心中的死亡和胸中的恐惧。他坐在那儿感受到了自己心中如何在衰亡，如何在枯萎，如何在完结。他渐渐地集中了心思，在脑子里再一次回顾了他这辈子走过的路，从他能够想起的最早的日子开始。他什么时候曾体验到一种幸福，感受到一种真正的狂喜呢？噢，对，他也有过好几次这样的经历。在少年时代他就品味过这种欢乐，当他受到婆罗门夸奖时，当他远远超过同龄人，在背诵诗书、与学才辩论以及当祭祀助手都表现得出类拔萃时。那时他心里就感觉到：“一条路摆在你面前，你的使命就是走这条路，神灵在等着你。”到了青年时代，思索的目标不断向上，这使得他从一大群有同样追求的人当中脱颖而出。他在痛苦中思索婆罗门的真谛，每次得到的真知都只是在他心里激起新的渴求，而在渴求当中，在痛苦当中，他又总是听到这个声音：“继续！向前！这就是对你的召唤！！当他离开故乡，选择沙门生活时听见了这声音；当他离开沙门，投奔那位活佛时听见了这声音；当他离开活佛，走进昏沌之中时还是听到了这声音。他已有多久没听见这声音了？他已有多久没有再攀上高峰了？他走过的路是多么平坦和荒凉！好多个漫长的年头，没有崇高的目标，没有渴求，没有提高，满足于小小的欢娱，却又从来没有知足过！这些年，他一直努力和渴望成为一个跟许多人同样的人，跟那些孩子同样的人，可是他自己却不知道，他的生活比他们远为不幸和可怜，因为他们的目标跟也不同，他们的忧虑也跟他不同。像卡马斯瓦密这类人的整个世界对于他只是一场游戏，一场供人观赏的舞蹈，一场悲剧。只有卡玛拉是他真心喜爱的，是他珍惜的——但她还是那样吗？他还需要她呈，还是她需要他？他们不也是在玩一场没完没了的游戏？为这个而活着可有必要？不，没有必要！这游戏叫轮回，是一种儿童玩的游戏，玩起来也许很有趣，一遍，两遍，十遍——可是，就永远这样玩下去么？
这时席特哈尔塔已明白，这游戏已玩到了头，他不能再玩下去了。一阵寒战传遍他全身，他感觉到，内心深处有什么死去了。
背景阅读

本书简介：
古印度贵族青年悉达多英俊聪慧，拥有人们羡慕的一切。为了追求心灵的安宁，他孤身一人展开了求道之旅。他在舍卫城聆听佛陀乔答摩宣讲教义，在繁华的大城中结识了名妓伽摩拉，并成为一名富商。心灵与肉体的享受达到顶峰，却让他对自己厌倦、鄙弃到极点。在与伽摩拉最后一次欢爱之后，他抛弃了自己所有世俗的一切，来到那河边，想结束自己的生命。在那最绝望的一刹那，他突然听到了生命之河永恒的声音……经过几乎一生的追求，悉达多终于体验到万事万物的圆融统一，所有生命的不可摧毁的本性，并最终将自我融入了瞬间的永恒之中。

作者简介：
赫尔曼·黑塞（Hermann Hesse，1877.7.2-1962.8.9）德国作家。1923年46岁入瑞士籍。1946年获诺贝尔文学奖。1962年于瑞士家中去世。爱好音乐与绘画，是一位漂泊、孤独、隐逸的诗人。黑塞的诗有很多充满了浪漫气息，从他的最初诗集《浪漫之歌》的书名，也可以看出他深受德国浪漫主义诗人的影响，以致后来被人称为“德国浪漫派最后的一个骑士”。主要作品有《彼得·卡门青》、《荒原狼》、《东方之行》、《玻璃球游戏》等。

主要生平及创作
出生于德国西南部的小城卡尔夫的一个牧师家庭。自幼在浓重的宗教气氛中长大，1891年，他通过“邦试”，考入毛尔布隆神学校。由于不堪忍受经院教育的摧残，半年后逃离学校。这期间他游历许多城市，从事过多种职业。
　　
在比较广泛地接受东西方文化熏陶之后，1904年，黑塞发表了长篇小说《彼得·卡门青特》，一举成名，从此成为专业作家。这一年他与玛丽结婚，移居巴登湖畔，埋头写作，1906年发表了长篇小说《在轮下》。这一时期的创作以浪漫主义诗歌、田园诗风格的抒情小说和流浪汉小说为主，作品洋溢着对童年和乡土的思念之情，充满对广大自然和人类的爱，同时也表现了青年人的精神苦闷与追求。
　　
第一次世界大战后，黑塞的创作发生了明显的变化，他醉心于尼采哲学，求助于印度佛教和中国的老庄哲学，并对荣格的精神分析产生了深厚的兴趣。他试图从宗教、哲学和心理学方面探索人类精神解放的途径。这时期的长篇小说有《克努尔普》（1916）、《德米安》（1919）、《席特哈尔塔》（1922）、《荒原狼》（1927）和《纳尔齐斯与歌尔德蒙》（1930）等。这些书深受西方读者的喜爱，得到极高的评价，其中《荒原狼》曾轰动欧美，被托马斯·曼誉为德国的《尤利西斯》。
　　
30年代后，法西斯在德国猖獗，黑塞对社会前途陷入深深的怀疑与绝望之中，但他仍不倦地从东西方宗教与哲学中寻求理想世界，《东方之行》（1932）、《玻璃球游戏》（1943）正是这一时期追求与探索的结晶。
　　
黑塞被雨果·巴尔称为德国浪漫派最后一位骑士，这说明他在艺术上深受浪漫主义诗歌的影响。他热爱大自然，厌倦都市文明，作品多采用象征手法，文笔优美细腻；由于受精神分析影响，他的作品着重在精神领域里进行挖掘探索，无畏而诚实地剖析内心，因此他的小说具有心理的深度。1946年，"由于他的富于灵感的作品具有遒劲的气势和洞察力，也为崇高的人道主义理想和高尚风格提供一个范例"，黑塞获诺贝尔文学奖。